A high-profile divorce always leaves ample fodder to create days of sassy media reports and slanderous write-ups on the personal lives of the couple involved. The recent break-up of a politician and his journalist wife, a supposedly "amicable" split, was no different. As the prying eyes of media continued to look for every possible cause that led to the separation, one among the recent articles that dissected the possible reasons of the divorce turned out downright ludicrous and absurd. It said that successful men find it intimidating to have equally successful partners. Apart from being miles away from sensibility, the article turned into a sheer example of naive reasoning and misinformation, and incongruous elucidation that carried little logic. The article went on explain the hardships that ambitious woman with soaring career has to endure to dumb herself down to attract a debonair and dashing man. Did the author deliberately forget inspirational women achievers like Indra Nooyi, Chanda Kochhar, Marissa Mayer, and Sheryl Sandberg?
As the writer continued to assert that successful, suave, and sophisticated men are keen on dating ‘dumb blondes’, the recent matrimony of an acclaimed Hollywood actor and a renowned human rights lawyer evidently proves this generalization wrong. According to the author, the fear of battling against a potent male ego is the main reason for the spinsterhood of many smarter women. However, even amidst men's continued dominance, there has been an unprecedented transformation in women's status in our society. Despite having many evident examples that emphasise the fact that not all men are trapped in the past, the author steadfastly believes that downright illiberal and misogynistic concepts are still powerful to seal the fate of several achievers among women. While it’s true that we live amid several men who prefer quiet and submissive women, one cannot use this as a reason to generalize about the entire men folk around us. Nor can one label a high-profile divorce as an outcome of patriarchy and male domination. Yet some women writers and self-confessed feminists soon jump the gun and desperately spew out such imprudent and irresponsible comments, while having zero information about the facts. Irrespective of being a self-professed champion of women’s rights, the author too was no different from the majority of namesake feminists who degrade it as mere male-bashing.
Success of women has little role in deciding the lifespan of a relationship. But when it comes to women who are unreasonably opinionated, decisive, stand-offish, and aggressive, men might never think twice to run a mile away from them. However it cannot misconstrued as the sense of being overshadowed by a woman's success. Nor does it imply that men shy away from accomplished women. When smugness and narcissism takes the monopoly, the beauty of a relationship soon withers into nothing.
Despite the fact that misogyny continues to persist, even among the educated and well-off classes, we are hardly close to that dire situation where men get overawed by financially and emotionally secure women. The irrational concept of fragile male ego is nothing but the preposterous perception of some misandrous self-proclaimed feminists. Strong and ambitious people intimidate only the weak and laid-back ones with low self-esteem, continually battling against existential crisis. It’s not the gender but the power of intelligence, willpower and personality that causes the intimidation. Women can remain absolutely unapologetic about their accomplishments because men who are secure in themselves will always treat women with dignity and respect.
The price and pain of betrayal
Online social networking is no more a buzzword. It has now become an integral part our social lives. Given the fact that nowadays we hardly enjoy the luxury to meet and hangout, these online platforms help interact with our dear ones each day. As social networking skyrockets to unmatchable heights of fame, dating websites too have been welcomed with open arms and hearts. However, the downside of this relationship finder erupts when harmless dating starts transforming into discreet encounters. An unremarkable by-product of dating, adultery and extramarital affair is no more a matter of hush-hush hedonism, and very often doesn’t get shrunk with guilt or shame. Shockingly, several marital relations are no more clung to the conventionality, but have pushed the contours of monogamy and rules of society. With the onset of infidelity websites that continue to mushroom frenetically, philandering is no more an outcome of unhappy marriages. This was proved beyond doubt with a catastrophic online attack that hit the headlines earlier this month, leaving no stones unturned to put the social lives and reputations of many at risk. Hackers successfully unearthed and publically dumped a huge cache of customer data from infamous infidelity website, thus making the world aware about the pietism of nearly 37 million adulterers who had been addicted to an ill-famed hook-up website that helped brazenly cheat on their partners. Adding to the disgust of knowing about this in-famed online platform was the shocking fact that millions of people face the risk of having their personal information shared online, for all the discreet or supposedly secret dallying encounters that they enjoyed for several months and years.
Apart from credit card details, hackers have leaked the identities of several account holders who unashamedly shared several nude images and gross sexual fantasies by clearly overlooking the vulnerabilities of internet. This major and embarrassing leak has raised a crucial question that we have to immediately ponder over: What amongst those galore of reasons make these people cheat on their partners? The sickening part of the entire fiasco is not the expertise of the hacker, but the nauseating philandering secrets of several millions people. Does that mean faithfulness in marriage has become a thing of the past? Irrespective of the strong and unwavering urge to believe that all is well with the world, the bitterness of reality keeps echoing the blatant fact that cheating in marriage is no more considered a taboo. If marriages are still considered as the rock-solid institutions that it used to be, the story of this most sought after cheating website has credible details of longstanding and shameless stories of adultery.
According to the website, far from the conventional myth that illicit hook-ups are limited to men folk alone, women too are willing to risk everything for momentary extramarital flings. As several millions of account holders who indulged in numerous discreet hook-ups and liaisons have been exposed before the world, the reasons that prompted them into falling for this ‘licentious’ betrayal is not limited to sex and physical intimacy. That said, an emotional reasons cannot be accounted as longstanding and sensible enough to cheat on partners who have been utmost loyal and loving. However, lack of commitment and shallowness in relationships can be the crux of cheating on partners. Precisely put, lack of mind-to-mind connection can lead to emotional infidelities which in turn escalate to physical closeness with that significant ‘other’.
For want for happiness and contentment, people are often tempted to flee momentarily and look for comfort and content in a significant ‘other person’, thus betraying their longstanding partners. But what these cheating spouses often forget is the fact that this parallel support too is momentary and terrible fallout keeps looming all the time, mainly due to lack of trust, faithfulness, and commitment. But a website that sells this naught adventure, with millions of authentic accounts, is the sure-fire sign of deteriorating moral standards of the society that we live in. A potentially damaged hacking has brought to light the horrific fact that cheating has now become a popular norm in today’s society, thus making us re-evaluate the institution of marriage.
Looking at the moral side of the entire hacking saga, such cheaters have to be exposed for their uncontrollable urge to hook up for momentary gratification; physical or emotional. As they were well aware of what they are getting themselves into, divulging their discrete affairs before the world is perhaps the most reasonable punishment that they can ever get. But here lies an ironic question that none of us avoid. Though the website prided itself on discretion, and always guaranteed to provide secure services, were the account holders downright foolish enough to believe that they can get-off scot-free without leaving any digital trail?
However, looking at the entire fiasco from the other side of the coin, no one deserves the nightmarish experience of having their personal details stolen. This includes the cheaters as well. While hackers believe that their efforts will expose millions of cheating douche bags who hoped for discretion and privacy, the amount of righteousness in their efforts can never balance with one’s fundamental rights.
Apart from credit card details, hackers have leaked the identities of several account holders who unashamedly shared several nude images and gross sexual fantasies by clearly overlooking the vulnerabilities of internet. This major and embarrassing leak has raised a crucial question that we have to immediately ponder over: What amongst those galore of reasons make these people cheat on their partners? The sickening part of the entire fiasco is not the expertise of the hacker, but the nauseating philandering secrets of several millions people. Does that mean faithfulness in marriage has become a thing of the past? Irrespective of the strong and unwavering urge to believe that all is well with the world, the bitterness of reality keeps echoing the blatant fact that cheating in marriage is no more considered a taboo. If marriages are still considered as the rock-solid institutions that it used to be, the story of this most sought after cheating website has credible details of longstanding and shameless stories of adultery.
According to the website, far from the conventional myth that illicit hook-ups are limited to men folk alone, women too are willing to risk everything for momentary extramarital flings. As several millions of account holders who indulged in numerous discreet hook-ups and liaisons have been exposed before the world, the reasons that prompted them into falling for this ‘licentious’ betrayal is not limited to sex and physical intimacy. That said, an emotional reasons cannot be accounted as longstanding and sensible enough to cheat on partners who have been utmost loyal and loving. However, lack of commitment and shallowness in relationships can be the crux of cheating on partners. Precisely put, lack of mind-to-mind connection can lead to emotional infidelities which in turn escalate to physical closeness with that significant ‘other’.
For want for happiness and contentment, people are often tempted to flee momentarily and look for comfort and content in a significant ‘other person’, thus betraying their longstanding partners. But what these cheating spouses often forget is the fact that this parallel support too is momentary and terrible fallout keeps looming all the time, mainly due to lack of trust, faithfulness, and commitment. But a website that sells this naught adventure, with millions of authentic accounts, is the sure-fire sign of deteriorating moral standards of the society that we live in. A potentially damaged hacking has brought to light the horrific fact that cheating has now become a popular norm in today’s society, thus making us re-evaluate the institution of marriage.
Looking at the moral side of the entire hacking saga, such cheaters have to be exposed for their uncontrollable urge to hook up for momentary gratification; physical or emotional. As they were well aware of what they are getting themselves into, divulging their discrete affairs before the world is perhaps the most reasonable punishment that they can ever get. But here lies an ironic question that none of us avoid. Though the website prided itself on discretion, and always guaranteed to provide secure services, were the account holders downright foolish enough to believe that they can get-off scot-free without leaving any digital trail?
However, looking at the entire fiasco from the other side of the coin, no one deserves the nightmarish experience of having their personal details stolen. This includes the cheaters as well. While hackers believe that their efforts will expose millions of cheating douche bags who hoped for discretion and privacy, the amount of righteousness in their efforts can never balance with one’s fundamental rights.
Reverse cougarism
Is there a ‘marriageable’ age for men and women? If not for men, our country still believes that women should enter into matrimony at eighteen or even by their early twenties; much against the growing trend of unwillingness to settle down without a stable career to one’s credit. Although one can find several reasons behind the predominant misconception, the reason that lures men to marrying much younger women is their supposedly fertile wombs. No matter whether one reaches to the highest strata of the society, or step down to the uneducated slum dwellers in the country, many people continue to adhere to the misapprehension that women in their late twenties and early thirties might face several hurdles to embrace motherhood. As the naivety of twenties get preferred over the maturity of thirties, this unwritten conventional rule of procreation surprisingly doesn't apply to the men in the country. Even astoundingly older men are cautious about listing age as a parameter while choosing partners, and carry a significant amount of negative stigma regarding women of their age, or a year or two younger to them. Precisely, youthful and voluptuous bodies are the yardsticks, while emotional connect and maturity often take the back-seat.
On the other hand, a woman who shapes up her career and life in her twenties, and achieves both emotional and financial stability to embark on the matrimonial journey might find it hard to bump into prospective matrimonial alliances from single men. Tired of the long and humiliating wait on the matrimonial market, and having left with hardly any options to look forward to, such women are often forced to accept divorcees or much older men. A third and widely chosen option might be to remain single for the rest of their lives. Matrimony in the country is very often narrowed down to a legal way of procreation. Healthy wombs are the destiny creators and child bearing abilities are the sure shot ways to being on the forefront of marriage market. But here lies a crucial question: are women in their early twenties invulnerable to all the health risks that can rob off one’s reproducing abilities? Are men insusceptible to health problems? If both men and young women too can be prone to such health disorders, the world has no right to mortify a thirty-something woman with irrational presumptions on fertility. That said, here is another reason that stands close second to the much-prevalent myths on women’s fertility.
Virginity, or the intactness of the hymen, is where both men and some elderly women have a strong and erroneous misapprehension about, though medical technology currently has surgical ways of fixing that broken sign of virginity. But much to our shock and dismay, no one among the conventional thinking group is specific about having an emotional ‘virginity’ or faithful mind to completely embrace the chosen partners and their flaws. This prevailing lack of emotional closeness and bondage is perhaps the strongest and most relevant reason that has been sky-rocketing the number of divorces in our country. For lack of love, understanding, and strong commitment towards respective partners, neither separations nor fun-flings and extra marital affairs are matters of shock, disbelief, and regret these days. So why is the world still persistent on physical virginity, when the necessity is to have a committed and truthful mind? More demeaning is the delusion that women who successfully traverse their career roads thrive at the cost of their virginity. It’s often upsetting and awkward to meet men and women who have wrongly preconditioned minds that are engraved with the mistaken belief that a success career comes with sleeping with several men. Much surprisingly, this conventionality doesn't apply to successful men, which is perhaps for lack of a membrane and a blood spot to prove the much-talked-about virginity.
A third and perhaps the most foolish of the delusions is the fear that women get deprived of their attractiveness once they cross the borderline of their twenties. While looks are the least important among the necessities to have a fruitful marital life, finding the world continue to relate it to nuptial bliss is belittling and prejudicial. Despite excelling education and career, our men continue to fantasize on young and physically virginal brides, and overlook the need of a partner who can promise a strong emotional bondage, a helping hand in building-up a stable and happy life, unhindered faithfulness, and unwavering commitment. More shocking is their hard-hearted attitude of cutting women off their career choices and social life, wanting themselves to be confined to homely chores. However, for lack of experience, wisdom, and maturity, young and brainless wonders who are content with being eye candy might bear all the domination and superiority, while those with good quantum brainpower and worldly experience might hardly bear the dominance for quite long.
Irrespective of being phenomenal in education and career choices, when it comes to dating and marriage, sadly, several men are completely preoccupied with the idea of age, which is perhaps the weirdest and the least important factor to be obsessed about. Will there be a day when men stop judging women based on their age, looks, hair colour, height, weight, eyes, and cup-size? Or do men in thirties and forties believe in the myth of recapturing and maintaining their youth, exuberance, energy and passion by mating with younger women?
On the other hand, a woman who shapes up her career and life in her twenties, and achieves both emotional and financial stability to embark on the matrimonial journey might find it hard to bump into prospective matrimonial alliances from single men. Tired of the long and humiliating wait on the matrimonial market, and having left with hardly any options to look forward to, such women are often forced to accept divorcees or much older men. A third and widely chosen option might be to remain single for the rest of their lives. Matrimony in the country is very often narrowed down to a legal way of procreation. Healthy wombs are the destiny creators and child bearing abilities are the sure shot ways to being on the forefront of marriage market. But here lies a crucial question: are women in their early twenties invulnerable to all the health risks that can rob off one’s reproducing abilities? Are men insusceptible to health problems? If both men and young women too can be prone to such health disorders, the world has no right to mortify a thirty-something woman with irrational presumptions on fertility. That said, here is another reason that stands close second to the much-prevalent myths on women’s fertility.
Virginity, or the intactness of the hymen, is where both men and some elderly women have a strong and erroneous misapprehension about, though medical technology currently has surgical ways of fixing that broken sign of virginity. But much to our shock and dismay, no one among the conventional thinking group is specific about having an emotional ‘virginity’ or faithful mind to completely embrace the chosen partners and their flaws. This prevailing lack of emotional closeness and bondage is perhaps the strongest and most relevant reason that has been sky-rocketing the number of divorces in our country. For lack of love, understanding, and strong commitment towards respective partners, neither separations nor fun-flings and extra marital affairs are matters of shock, disbelief, and regret these days. So why is the world still persistent on physical virginity, when the necessity is to have a committed and truthful mind? More demeaning is the delusion that women who successfully traverse their career roads thrive at the cost of their virginity. It’s often upsetting and awkward to meet men and women who have wrongly preconditioned minds that are engraved with the mistaken belief that a success career comes with sleeping with several men. Much surprisingly, this conventionality doesn't apply to successful men, which is perhaps for lack of a membrane and a blood spot to prove the much-talked-about virginity.
A third and perhaps the most foolish of the delusions is the fear that women get deprived of their attractiveness once they cross the borderline of their twenties. While looks are the least important among the necessities to have a fruitful marital life, finding the world continue to relate it to nuptial bliss is belittling and prejudicial. Despite excelling education and career, our men continue to fantasize on young and physically virginal brides, and overlook the need of a partner who can promise a strong emotional bondage, a helping hand in building-up a stable and happy life, unhindered faithfulness, and unwavering commitment. More shocking is their hard-hearted attitude of cutting women off their career choices and social life, wanting themselves to be confined to homely chores. However, for lack of experience, wisdom, and maturity, young and brainless wonders who are content with being eye candy might bear all the domination and superiority, while those with good quantum brainpower and worldly experience might hardly bear the dominance for quite long.
Irrespective of being phenomenal in education and career choices, when it comes to dating and marriage, sadly, several men are completely preoccupied with the idea of age, which is perhaps the weirdest and the least important factor to be obsessed about. Will there be a day when men stop judging women based on their age, looks, hair colour, height, weight, eyes, and cup-size? Or do men in thirties and forties believe in the myth of recapturing and maintaining their youth, exuberance, energy and passion by mating with younger women?
Neglected and forgotten: The fate of non-cricketing sportspersons
With hardly any knowledge about sports of any sort, this post is in no way going to abide by the popular and prevailing emotions of the majority of sports enthusiasts in the country. But, this write-up is an effort to put-forth a contrarian thought that sheds light on the ever-growing bias towards the game of cricket. Before rejecting this post as the random rants of a seasoned cricket-hater, if readers can take time for a small retrospection, inspiring visuals of tremendous efforts and stupendous successes of several non-cricketing sportspersons would soon flash in front of your eyes. Yet a wide majority of the country adheres to cricket and keep gluing themselves in front of televisions to watch all the cricket matches; irrespective of poor and lackadaisical performances of the team which has been facing a lot of flakes off late. As the magnitude of our love for cricket grows by leaps and bounds, getting detrimental for other sports, my thoughts drift towards the disheartened athletes and other sports persons who have yearned and longed for years together to get the deserved accolades and appreciation, and have got disregarded all the time.
One among them is the heart wrenching story of the untimely demise of a veteran football player who killed himself by jumping in-front of a suburban electric train. The suicide notes found later had the tear-jerking accounts of his profound pain and mental anguish. Unfathomable sorrow for lack of recognition and accolades led to his unfortunate demise, yet the country hasn't learned any lesson. The authorities, media, and people around still continue to side-line some of the incredible achievers who have picking sports other than cricket. One among the many heart-breaking accounts of tragedies that unveil the pitiful conditions of several successful sports-persons in the country, the story of this intentionally forgotten veteran football player is a vivid example of the callousness towards non-cricketers who constantly fight for recognition and appreciation, irrespective of winning several national and international matches.
Regardless of their stellar performances, we fail non-cricketing sports-people constantly, and at the same time unashamedly serve uncountable crores on the cricketers’ platter, irrespective of being aware of impending failure and shame that the team is going to bring in. While the cricket team earned crores from a luck-by-chance World Cup win last time, wrestlers like Virender Singh had to wait for Vivek Chaudhary to make the movie Goonga Pehelwan, in order to get appreciated by the country and the authorities. With sponsors showing no keenness on investing on non-cricket sports, and the system failing to take adequate steps to felicitating their remarkable success, several sports-persons strive hard to make a living. Despaired by the lack of support and encouragement, they are often forced to cut short their sports career due to humongous financial liabilities, lack of funds, in adequate facilities, poor quality training equipment and little encouragement from the authorities.
Despite the fact that several hockey players, footballers, wrestlers, and many other commendable sports-persons continue to make our country proud, the entire nation is desperate to rally behind and justify the cricket team that fails repeatedly, yet takes home hefty fees and perks for each failure of theirs. A five time successive world boxing champion became a household name at the mercy of a Bollywood star who essayed her role in recently released 100crore grosser. Does that indicate the indispensability of a money-minting commercial movie to showcase the hardships and talent of a non-cricketer? Though it has not said evidently, both Goonga Pehelwan and Mary Kom have written the answer clearly on the wall, emphasizing the fact that the word sports has now become synonymous with cricket, while the others are pushed to the wayside.
The irrational adoration and worship of cricket has now relegated several sports like badminton, hockey, kabaddi, and rowing to games from the bygone age. Despite having veterans like Viswanathan Anand, Leander Paes, Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore, and Karnam Malleswari, the country constantly turns a deaf ear and a blind eye to other sports. The irony of finding a football player receiving just one lakh for his stellar performance in debut international match, while cricketers get bestowed with crores of cash rewards and other incentives is the sheer evidence of the constant failures to give credit to sports and sports persons who the country proud. As one gets to see innumerable kids who aspire to achieve cult status in cricket and sign advertisement deals worth billions, finding someone who longs to become a Dhayan Chand, Dhanraj Pillay, Geeta Phogat, or Babita Kumari would be near to impossible, for sheer lack of adequate acceptance and accolades. Precisely, the distancing occurs due to the distressing awareness that other sports have nothing but heaps of humiliation and angst in store for the winners.
As cricketers enjoy the luxury of business class travels and cosy stays at top five star hotels, while traversing from one destination to other to amass more and more failures shamelessly, it’s distressing to watch the non-cricketers travelling sandwiched in second class trains and adjusting themselves to the pitiable conditions of dirty dormitories that are devoid of even the basic necessities for living. Every dazzling achievement they make would take no time to get eclipsed in the cricket-obsession of the country. No matter whether they win a match or not, cricketers are always on the forefront of media, either for a money minting brand endorsement or a ‘good-friend-like’ relationship with a Bollywood damsel, while, stories of other achievers are sunk deliberately.
That said, the blame doesn't lie on cricket, but the irrational bias of people and authorities,. While it’s quite reasonable on the fans’ and media’s part to shower praises on a winning cricket team, the world cup winning Kabaddi team too deserved the same acceptance and accolades, but were deliberately ignored, and were seen on the streets waiting for auto rickshaw to reach home.. Not only did the authorities fail to provide the needed conveyance facilities, according to a well-known newspaper, the players even faced the awkwardness of non-payment of their food bills, which clearly indicates a step-motherly treatment, regardless of their thumping win.
PS – Here are a few disgraceful moments when we shamelessly ignored some sportspersons who have brought several laurels to the nation:
Irrespective of some incredible triumphs, we needed this advertising campaign to support our hockey team.
They represented the country for several years, yet the Ice Hockey Team had to appeal on social media for funds to attend an international championship:
A two-time international bronze medalist at Special Olympics sells golgappas for survival, while boxing gold medalist works as a domestic help to continue her schooling, and many others struggling hard to find a foothold, yet we continue to hail cricketers, while giving cold-shoulders to the other sports-people.
One among them is the heart wrenching story of the untimely demise of a veteran football player who killed himself by jumping in-front of a suburban electric train. The suicide notes found later had the tear-jerking accounts of his profound pain and mental anguish. Unfathomable sorrow for lack of recognition and accolades led to his unfortunate demise, yet the country hasn't learned any lesson. The authorities, media, and people around still continue to side-line some of the incredible achievers who have picking sports other than cricket. One among the many heart-breaking accounts of tragedies that unveil the pitiful conditions of several successful sports-persons in the country, the story of this intentionally forgotten veteran football player is a vivid example of the callousness towards non-cricketers who constantly fight for recognition and appreciation, irrespective of winning several national and international matches.
Regardless of their stellar performances, we fail non-cricketing sports-people constantly, and at the same time unashamedly serve uncountable crores on the cricketers’ platter, irrespective of being aware of impending failure and shame that the team is going to bring in. While the cricket team earned crores from a luck-by-chance World Cup win last time, wrestlers like Virender Singh had to wait for Vivek Chaudhary to make the movie Goonga Pehelwan, in order to get appreciated by the country and the authorities. With sponsors showing no keenness on investing on non-cricket sports, and the system failing to take adequate steps to felicitating their remarkable success, several sports-persons strive hard to make a living. Despaired by the lack of support and encouragement, they are often forced to cut short their sports career due to humongous financial liabilities, lack of funds, in adequate facilities, poor quality training equipment and little encouragement from the authorities.
Despite the fact that several hockey players, footballers, wrestlers, and many other commendable sports-persons continue to make our country proud, the entire nation is desperate to rally behind and justify the cricket team that fails repeatedly, yet takes home hefty fees and perks for each failure of theirs. A five time successive world boxing champion became a household name at the mercy of a Bollywood star who essayed her role in recently released 100crore grosser. Does that indicate the indispensability of a money-minting commercial movie to showcase the hardships and talent of a non-cricketer? Though it has not said evidently, both Goonga Pehelwan and Mary Kom have written the answer clearly on the wall, emphasizing the fact that the word sports has now become synonymous with cricket, while the others are pushed to the wayside.
The irrational adoration and worship of cricket has now relegated several sports like badminton, hockey, kabaddi, and rowing to games from the bygone age. Despite having veterans like Viswanathan Anand, Leander Paes, Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore, and Karnam Malleswari, the country constantly turns a deaf ear and a blind eye to other sports. The irony of finding a football player receiving just one lakh for his stellar performance in debut international match, while cricketers get bestowed with crores of cash rewards and other incentives is the sheer evidence of the constant failures to give credit to sports and sports persons who the country proud. As one gets to see innumerable kids who aspire to achieve cult status in cricket and sign advertisement deals worth billions, finding someone who longs to become a Dhayan Chand, Dhanraj Pillay, Geeta Phogat, or Babita Kumari would be near to impossible, for sheer lack of adequate acceptance and accolades. Precisely, the distancing occurs due to the distressing awareness that other sports have nothing but heaps of humiliation and angst in store for the winners.
As cricketers enjoy the luxury of business class travels and cosy stays at top five star hotels, while traversing from one destination to other to amass more and more failures shamelessly, it’s distressing to watch the non-cricketers travelling sandwiched in second class trains and adjusting themselves to the pitiable conditions of dirty dormitories that are devoid of even the basic necessities for living. Every dazzling achievement they make would take no time to get eclipsed in the cricket-obsession of the country. No matter whether they win a match or not, cricketers are always on the forefront of media, either for a money minting brand endorsement or a ‘good-friend-like’ relationship with a Bollywood damsel, while, stories of other achievers are sunk deliberately.
That said, the blame doesn't lie on cricket, but the irrational bias of people and authorities,. While it’s quite reasonable on the fans’ and media’s part to shower praises on a winning cricket team, the world cup winning Kabaddi team too deserved the same acceptance and accolades, but were deliberately ignored, and were seen on the streets waiting for auto rickshaw to reach home.. Not only did the authorities fail to provide the needed conveyance facilities, according to a well-known newspaper, the players even faced the awkwardness of non-payment of their food bills, which clearly indicates a step-motherly treatment, regardless of their thumping win.
PS – Here are a few disgraceful moments when we shamelessly ignored some sportspersons who have brought several laurels to the nation:
Irrespective of some incredible triumphs, we needed this advertising campaign to support our hockey team.
They represented the country for several years, yet the Ice Hockey Team had to appeal on social media for funds to attend an international championship:
A two-time international bronze medalist at Special Olympics sells golgappas for survival, while boxing gold medalist works as a domestic help to continue her schooling, and many others struggling hard to find a foothold, yet we continue to hail cricketers, while giving cold-shoulders to the other sports-people.
Realistic or not, cop shows always win hands down
However, no end is in sight for this longest running detective series, which has been continuing its winning streak for more than a decade, along with breaking several records, winning several hearts hands down. Most of their episodes might not thrill the realists and critics, but excite the masses with stories of those who are sucked into crimes either due to force or circumstance. Though several channels joined the bandwagon and created similar shows, none of them survived for long, and soon got wrapped up, while this time-tested show continues to gallop towards unmatched TRPs each week. Being enamoured with crimes and thrilling ways of solving them is a fixation that’s common to one and all. However, for me, what set this show apart from the rest is a sense of nostalgia that brings back some cherished moments with the sister, partner in crime, and a loyal viewer of the show. While dad has always left no stones unturned to dice the storyline and highlight the entire bloopers one after the other, we never stopped satiating ourselves with the mysteries behind every killer and vigilante in the show.
Being engrossed in crime shows for over a decade can lead to several perplexing moments like constantly looking over one’s shoulders while waking, or slipping into fears and anxiety at the sight of a stranger nearing from the other end of the street. It also triggers constant cautionary indication to closely watch every other guy who keeps lurking near home or hostel, only to find him casually walking away after ogling some of the women inside. Thanks to constantly resurfacing scenes from this favourite TV show, a regular viewer might never waste a moment to look for a lawbreaker amongst those silly and harmless men who lurk around to have some gratifying moments watching voluptuous women. Adding to this riddle of paranoia is the blown up news reports on the skyrocketing number of crimes in various cities. While most of us experience that intense urge to finding the baddies getting caught, crime show fans might experience this further owing to their constant experience watching the good overpowering the evil.
Many crime shows followed this most-talked about show, but soon bid good bye within a year of kick staring their eventful journey, while makers this most- watched serial continues to capture the hearts of both young and old by cashing on the innate urge to explore the darker and demonic sides of human beings. With a mishmash of far-from-logical plots, bizarre protagonists, larger than life personas of the investigators, and eccentric forensic experts who serve a string of oddities as their clinical examination results, the storylines of the show has become highly predictable lately; yet, the viewership has been on a steady increase. The makers of this successful detective series occasionally recharge their intelligence and creativity, which results on some sensible episodes that refresh our grey matter. Otherwise, every episode ends serving yet another moment of déjà vu.
If not a challenging mental workout, watching crime shows to reasonable levels can be a good exercise to the brain, if they can manage to build and retain the suspense towards the end, stimulating the brains of the viewers and making it sharper. But not every crime show maker graduates to that commendable level of making adrenaline-pumping episodes all the time, at least not in this show which has been running for more than a decade. Looking at the downside of watching crime serials, some viewers might assume the world to be a scarier place than it is, or formulate an inflated idea about the occurrence of crimes. Apart from serving moments of entertainment, thrill, and suspense, along with showcasing an hour long battle between devilish deeds and clear resolutions, crime shows sky-rocket to popularity due to their efforts to reinforce the sense of justice in the mind of the viewers, and help resolve their innate fears that lead to dreading the unknown and the unfound.
Despite the goofs in story-lines and characterization, some televised crime busters work because they go beyond gratifying our voyeuristic instincts.
What makes a movie successful?
Movies have been an inevitable part of our lives since as long as we can remember. While some make significant splash in the box office and get placed on the hit chart, some others fail to garner attention and soon fade out into the darkness that holds the zillion more ‘flops’ that have tested our patience and tortured our senses over the years. “This movie is different,” while, every other filmmaker keeps reciting this clichéd claim, not so surprisingly, there’s absolutely no dearth of terrible movies. Why do certain films succeed while certain others barely get registered in moviegoers’ mind? Budget, storyline, star cast, advertising, promotion, or sheer luck; what is sure-fire factor that helps churn out a film that ensures stupendous box office success? Opinions can vary, and so do the reasons that make one do the categorization. Finding the right concoction that helps make a box office conqueror might be impossible. However, in today’s fast paced world that leaves hardly any time for relaxation; in order to squeeze out two hours from the immensely busy schedule of ours, a movie has to help us unwind, shed the stress and laugh our lungs out, thus leaving the cinema hall with sheer contentment.
A cinematic gem undoubtedly, should have a strong and reasonably realistic storyline. But, some of the movies that we get to watch these days have been made with excessive focus on the realistic aspect of their stories, the reason why entertainment often takes the backseat. A movie has to entertain the audience as a whole, and not just handpicked viewers and critics. However, some of the movie-makers who are constantly extolled for their award-winning works are yet to learn how to create the potion of making the feel-good movies that a major share of audiences would love to watch. The outcome of this unawareness are the movies that are crafted with lacklustre storylines that cry out to get drenched in the showers of colourful backdrops, foot tapping songs, worth-watching romantic moments, and rib tickling comedy. A filmmaker who has a slew of flop movies to his credit was recently heard going gaga over his new lacklustre creation with zero comedy and romance. His recent movie with a significant overload of emotions and a dreary story that gets stretched out and exaggerated to reaching the nadir of boredom soon tanked at the box office within days of opening, despite a hefty budget and an impressive star cast.
A bankable star or a director with innumerable awards under his belt aren’t all that it takes for a movie to be a fifty crore or a 100 crore grosser at the box office. Instead, the requisite is sheer entertainment that satisfies both the masses and the classes, making them long for the next movie from the very same makers. The fame and profit of such movies will grow manifolds with just positive word-of-mouth abuzz. That said, we needn’t forcefully watch or endorse movies that make money with implausible plot and larger-than-life-heroes. But, if such movies can entertain us for the quality time we devote to watching them, those much criticized absurdities too are worth, even if they lack the mirror images of hardcore realities. With reality comes another facet of movie-watching. While most of the cine-goers love stories that are real and rational, do they really look for the pinching reality of life in the movies that they choose to watch? No one would want bear with the negative experience of watching a sad story, yet continue to remain hypocritically stubborn about being loyal viewers of movies that are far from enjoyable and fail amuse the audiences, but are well laced with hardcore realities of daily life. The fact is, most of us hardly look for the bitterness of realism, instead, hope to watch movies with idealistic storylines that are adorned by brilliant amalgamation of songs, dance, comedy, and romance. Despite the fact that numerous voices of decency preachers vehemently oppose the showcasing of Munnis and Chikni Chamelis, these sizzling hot item numbers leave no stones unturned to attract public, including those who fervently oppose the bandwagon of item girls.
Apart from failing to keeping pace with changing market dynamics, and differing choices of target viewers, earning the moolah is yet another goal that some filmmakers deliberately tend to ignore. In the urge to operate each movie with more than stronger and intense stories and undiluted streams of hardcore logic, many directors are guilty of luring naive investors into their million-dollar risks, only to deliberately forget about the money that gets poured into their magnum opuses. For lack of watchable elements, many of such abysmally hopeless movies that would have been better left unmade fail to recover even the costs incurred in their making. Thus investors often end up in hefty loses, vowing not to invest in a film ever again.
Movie making is way beyond a good dose of gut feeling, and has to be balanced with factors that help enjoy extensive box office success. Creative decisions, entertainment quotient, and their financial outcomes have to go hand in hand, in order to ensure successful results in movie making.
A cinematic gem undoubtedly, should have a strong and reasonably realistic storyline. But, some of the movies that we get to watch these days have been made with excessive focus on the realistic aspect of their stories, the reason why entertainment often takes the backseat. A movie has to entertain the audience as a whole, and not just handpicked viewers and critics. However, some of the movie-makers who are constantly extolled for their award-winning works are yet to learn how to create the potion of making the feel-good movies that a major share of audiences would love to watch. The outcome of this unawareness are the movies that are crafted with lacklustre storylines that cry out to get drenched in the showers of colourful backdrops, foot tapping songs, worth-watching romantic moments, and rib tickling comedy. A filmmaker who has a slew of flop movies to his credit was recently heard going gaga over his new lacklustre creation with zero comedy and romance. His recent movie with a significant overload of emotions and a dreary story that gets stretched out and exaggerated to reaching the nadir of boredom soon tanked at the box office within days of opening, despite a hefty budget and an impressive star cast.
A bankable star or a director with innumerable awards under his belt aren’t all that it takes for a movie to be a fifty crore or a 100 crore grosser at the box office. Instead, the requisite is sheer entertainment that satisfies both the masses and the classes, making them long for the next movie from the very same makers. The fame and profit of such movies will grow manifolds with just positive word-of-mouth abuzz. That said, we needn’t forcefully watch or endorse movies that make money with implausible plot and larger-than-life-heroes. But, if such movies can entertain us for the quality time we devote to watching them, those much criticized absurdities too are worth, even if they lack the mirror images of hardcore realities. With reality comes another facet of movie-watching. While most of the cine-goers love stories that are real and rational, do they really look for the pinching reality of life in the movies that they choose to watch? No one would want bear with the negative experience of watching a sad story, yet continue to remain hypocritically stubborn about being loyal viewers of movies that are far from enjoyable and fail amuse the audiences, but are well laced with hardcore realities of daily life. The fact is, most of us hardly look for the bitterness of realism, instead, hope to watch movies with idealistic storylines that are adorned by brilliant amalgamation of songs, dance, comedy, and romance. Despite the fact that numerous voices of decency preachers vehemently oppose the showcasing of Munnis and Chikni Chamelis, these sizzling hot item numbers leave no stones unturned to attract public, including those who fervently oppose the bandwagon of item girls.
Apart from failing to keeping pace with changing market dynamics, and differing choices of target viewers, earning the moolah is yet another goal that some filmmakers deliberately tend to ignore. In the urge to operate each movie with more than stronger and intense stories and undiluted streams of hardcore logic, many directors are guilty of luring naive investors into their million-dollar risks, only to deliberately forget about the money that gets poured into their magnum opuses. For lack of watchable elements, many of such abysmally hopeless movies that would have been better left unmade fail to recover even the costs incurred in their making. Thus investors often end up in hefty loses, vowing not to invest in a film ever again.
Movie making is way beyond a good dose of gut feeling, and has to be balanced with factors that help enjoy extensive box office success. Creative decisions, entertainment quotient, and their financial outcomes have to go hand in hand, in order to ensure successful results in movie making.
When inanity overpowers reality
Though boundless freedom is an advantage that tags along with life in hostels, when it comes to certain luxuries that we enjoy limitlessly at home, hostel life cuts down those advantages and makes us long for the relaxed bygone days. While scrumptious food is at the forefront on the list, a close second is the joy of watching the favourite shows on television. Some hostels continue to linger in the pre-television era, while some others have just one television for all. Having a common television is not a boon that one has to thank the luck stars for, as there would always be a significant gang of regular viewers everywhere, who would hold the monopoly of deciding what to watch and when, while the others are either forced to agree to the common preference or find an alternative mode of entertainment. Falling in with the common choices can often freak one out, as the options always get narrowed down to the annoying, overrated, and overly dramatic daily ‘saas-bahu’ soaps that are hardly worth watching, but have managed to congregate a large set of audience. They are the longest-running addictions that many are afraid to admit. Finding religious viewers sitting transfixed in front of the television, mesmerised in the spell of such stereotypical dramatic stories often remind one of substance addicts who walk away from reality and embraces the string of hallucinations that they believe can induce happiness and pleasure. Frazzling us further, a few others who miss the daily episodes hurry desperately to read the weekend episodes. Their desperation is quite identical to finding one struggling with withdrawal symptoms and looking for a dose of drug to compose oneself.
Hopelessly confused between reality and fiction, these soap addicts find obsession in a supposedly harmless entertainment, but often turn chaotic if they miss an episode. Finding some of them watch the bygone episodes again and again on YouTube, and later discussion about them excitingly often unveils the extending and overflowing influence of these less than half-an-hour shows. Though most people would hesitate considering daily soap addiction as a growing menace, this strange obsession is more dangerous as getting addicted to cigarettes, drugs, and lotteries. The more one gets, the more quenchable the craving would be.
More often than not, the indefinitely-stretching soap operas are the secret guilty pleasure of both men and women in our country. They leave no stones unturned to strain the precious brain cells of many with ridiculously similar plots that are laced with monotonous stories of mind-numbing gossips, vicious feuds, cat-fights, murders, unrealistic romances, nauseating infidelities, illegitimate children, deceptions, and irksome tantrums of alcoholics who portray either as troublesome husbands or pestering dads, brothers, uncles, and so on. Yet, for all the grimness that they serve each day, these daily doses of good-for-nothing narratives are the life-and-blood of many people, who keep themselves glued to television to watch their favourite characters heave from one dilemma and crisis to the other. Not even a single day goes without finding women befooling themselves with their frantic rush to get back to watch the evening shows, watching them carefully organize their lives based on timings of their favourite serials or avoiding interactions when the shows are on air. These deadly concoctions of mindlessness, enriched with forever-decked-up daughters in law and perpetually scheming mother-in-laws, never conclude on one storyline, but transform to newer ones every time, making sure to retain the obsession of regular viewers. Though the storylines are crafted with just minor variations, Indian daily soaps have one essentiality in common, and that’s the ideal daughter in law who recites her regular morning prayers, cooks several dishes a day with incessant smile, does all the household chores, face every deceitfulness like a superwoman, and yet look energetic, happy and smart, fully clad in zardosi sarees and heavy jewellery, holding the entire family together like a superglue, and giving her well known competitors like Fevicol and the like a run for their money.
Finding them cultivate an aura of troubling thoughts is one of the most distressing outcomes of daily soap addiction. Watching a disgruntling mother-in-law plotting to kill her innocent daughter-in-law who stupidly keeps falling prey to every possible scheme of hers is not a matter of contentment and relaxation; instead, it cripples the free flowing thoughts of many daily soap addicts who might take a cue from this much dangerous plan to vent out their anger on their daughters-in-law. Equally opposable is the sight of watching every other man in daily soaps sneaking out from their marital bliss to fall in love with their seductive secretaries and colleagues. Identifying with the characters of these far-from-reality storylines would definitely make women stalk or troll on their husbands and boyfriends in their ‘007 modi operandi’ to find the ‘other women’ in their partners’ lives. Being exposed to these daily dosages of endless scheming and plotting can transform even the most innocent souls into spiteful ones who might leave no stones unturned to do speak and do unto others without worrying about the repercussions.
As most of the shows get caught in their own rut with boring plots and non-twisty twist, leading to exits of several overly dressed up and decked up men and women, it’s amusing to find people engrossed in speculations about the future changes in plot or discussions on these changes in key characters. Soap opera fans who keep mulling over the possible alternative replacements need some strong therapies on sanity, to bring them back from the useless world of daily soaps that have nothing entertaining in them, but survive on constable dragged out plots that fill the airtime and the nearly vacuum minds of most of the viewers.
Very often, the daily soaps that start on the sweetest note often wrap up in the most unpredictable and unforeseen manners. While it’s might be assign of relief for many, the judgement day might trigger a sort of existential crisis among the significant majority of soap opera addicts, who need a whole lot of time or an equally dramatic show to heal the wound.
With sky-rocketing number of daily soap addicts, the day when our psychiatric wards branch out to kick-starting de-addiction centres psychotherapies to help get rid of daily soaps obsession is imminent.
Hopelessly confused between reality and fiction, these soap addicts find obsession in a supposedly harmless entertainment, but often turn chaotic if they miss an episode. Finding some of them watch the bygone episodes again and again on YouTube, and later discussion about them excitingly often unveils the extending and overflowing influence of these less than half-an-hour shows. Though most people would hesitate considering daily soap addiction as a growing menace, this strange obsession is more dangerous as getting addicted to cigarettes, drugs, and lotteries. The more one gets, the more quenchable the craving would be.
More often than not, the indefinitely-stretching soap operas are the secret guilty pleasure of both men and women in our country. They leave no stones unturned to strain the precious brain cells of many with ridiculously similar plots that are laced with monotonous stories of mind-numbing gossips, vicious feuds, cat-fights, murders, unrealistic romances, nauseating infidelities, illegitimate children, deceptions, and irksome tantrums of alcoholics who portray either as troublesome husbands or pestering dads, brothers, uncles, and so on. Yet, for all the grimness that they serve each day, these daily doses of good-for-nothing narratives are the life-and-blood of many people, who keep themselves glued to television to watch their favourite characters heave from one dilemma and crisis to the other. Not even a single day goes without finding women befooling themselves with their frantic rush to get back to watch the evening shows, watching them carefully organize their lives based on timings of their favourite serials or avoiding interactions when the shows are on air. These deadly concoctions of mindlessness, enriched with forever-decked-up daughters in law and perpetually scheming mother-in-laws, never conclude on one storyline, but transform to newer ones every time, making sure to retain the obsession of regular viewers. Though the storylines are crafted with just minor variations, Indian daily soaps have one essentiality in common, and that’s the ideal daughter in law who recites her regular morning prayers, cooks several dishes a day with incessant smile, does all the household chores, face every deceitfulness like a superwoman, and yet look energetic, happy and smart, fully clad in zardosi sarees and heavy jewellery, holding the entire family together like a superglue, and giving her well known competitors like Fevicol and the like a run for their money.
Finding them cultivate an aura of troubling thoughts is one of the most distressing outcomes of daily soap addiction. Watching a disgruntling mother-in-law plotting to kill her innocent daughter-in-law who stupidly keeps falling prey to every possible scheme of hers is not a matter of contentment and relaxation; instead, it cripples the free flowing thoughts of many daily soap addicts who might take a cue from this much dangerous plan to vent out their anger on their daughters-in-law. Equally opposable is the sight of watching every other man in daily soaps sneaking out from their marital bliss to fall in love with their seductive secretaries and colleagues. Identifying with the characters of these far-from-reality storylines would definitely make women stalk or troll on their husbands and boyfriends in their ‘007 modi operandi’ to find the ‘other women’ in their partners’ lives. Being exposed to these daily dosages of endless scheming and plotting can transform even the most innocent souls into spiteful ones who might leave no stones unturned to do speak and do unto others without worrying about the repercussions.
As most of the shows get caught in their own rut with boring plots and non-twisty twist, leading to exits of several overly dressed up and decked up men and women, it’s amusing to find people engrossed in speculations about the future changes in plot or discussions on these changes in key characters. Soap opera fans who keep mulling over the possible alternative replacements need some strong therapies on sanity, to bring them back from the useless world of daily soaps that have nothing entertaining in them, but survive on constable dragged out plots that fill the airtime and the nearly vacuum minds of most of the viewers.
Very often, the daily soaps that start on the sweetest note often wrap up in the most unpredictable and unforeseen manners. While it’s might be assign of relief for many, the judgement day might trigger a sort of existential crisis among the significant majority of soap opera addicts, who need a whole lot of time or an equally dramatic show to heal the wound.
With sky-rocketing number of daily soap addicts, the day when our psychiatric wards branch out to kick-starting de-addiction centres psychotherapies to help get rid of daily soaps obsession is imminent.
Admire, don’t imitate
Her fuller lips continue to trend higher upwards even after enticing several teens who pouted their way to imitate her and got disfigured beyond repair. Does imitating somebody make one more beautiful? Precisely, what does one gain by trying the most unsafe way to ape a celebrity?
At the outset, I must unashamedly admit to be an ardent fan of Miranda Kerr and do read her tweets whenever possible. This in no way means that I am afflicted with the much disastrous celebrity worship or obsession with celebrities: neither do I believe in imitating them by any means, nor do I harm my body to emulate. But unfortunately, we have a startling number of youth in our society who suffer from the stead-fast desire of acquiring the looks of their favourite stars by hook-or-crook, irrespective of the immense levels of risks involved. While celebrities are beauty and style inspirations for many, they indirectly dictate the lives of several others who remain obsessed with public figures. These insensible fans often pick cringe-worthy means to ape their favourite stars. Apart from attires and hairstyles, there has been a wild-fire-like passion for cosmetics and artificial looks, an increasingly contagious trend that often extends to absolute nonsense levels, when brain-dead fans blindly line-up to transform themselves into some badly-made copies of their favourite stars. A worthless, hopeless, and dangerous pursuit to justify their delusional worship!
As celebrities apparently undergo their body and style transformations in the recommended manner; their fans often take the most harming routes to imitate their favourite stars. But how far can one go to mimic one’s favourite celebrity? From similar attires to fancy hairstyles, the options to try out are endless. However, the other day, I was shocked to read about a much dangerous, and unquestionably the utmost dumbest, act of a few teens who used shot glasses and bottles to artificially plump their lips and emulate a reality TV star. Simply put, it turned out to be a challenge gone bonkers! While the Ice Bucket Challenge had a genuine cause to mention, and hardly left anyone with permanent harm, much against the medical advices of numerous experts from all over the world, this newest and stupidest trend, or a dangerous stunt, went on irrespective of the stern warnings of possible permanent damages. It makes me wonder about the brain quotient of those who impulsively jump to try out something as stupid as the do-it-yourself lip pouting craze, which can lead to permanent disfigurements. Despite being aware of the medical impacts and the possible chances of getting the blood vessels burst, several brainless teens tried to emulate the lips of their favourite star by adopting utmost unnatural and unsafe methods, and ended up in having weird swellings on their lips, which in turn looked far from the much-talked-about lush-lips that they hoped to have. While the entire antic was named as a “challenge” that took the social media by storm, in their desperate effort to get the 'pouty' lips that resemble their favourite star, our teens didn't think twice to use thrust and suck empty bottles and glasses to plump their lips, and later share disturbing results on social media. More shocking news came in soon, and it read that some of them even used a vacuum sucker to make their lips 'pouty', which I feel is the height of silliness and insensibility. After continuing the entire catastrophe and ending up with bruised and swollen lips, most of them soon found that their pouts were oddly sized out of proportion, leaving several injuries around the mouth, and letting them mourn for the disfigurement and pain.
I am not a fan of bee-stung pout, nor do I believe in calling it a sign of enviable beauty. After watching the widely disturbing images on social media, I cannot help but pity the youngsters who were keen on injuring their lips to secure the ‘famous pout’ or ‘create’ the supposedly 'enviable' ‘fuller lips’. Irrespective of being aware that this seventeen-something celebrity might have gone under the knife, used lip-plumping devices/injections, or generously spent hours every day to create her pout, our supposedly educated teenagers risked to mimic her and suffered severe facial injuries, only to find a strange response from their star that she never forced anyone to participate. So the bottom line is, what exactly was all the risk-taking for, or what on earth did they gain by using glasses and vacuum suckers for the most dangerous cosmetic transformations ever heard of? Such ultimate steps to get uncanny resemblances and that help earn the tag of a close look-alike of a movie star or a TV celeb are to be considered akin to insaneness, and not adoration. Good looks are hardly about having celebrity-like skin colour, nose, or lips, but about having high self-esteem and self-confidence. However, there is an increasingly huge number of people around who are not comfortable in their own skin, and are desperate to alter it and emulate a TV or movie star.
Celebrity worship is a kind of addiction, and becomes potentially dangerous when the level of imitation extends beyond the contours of safety. Yet, many in the society often get fooled by the wrong facades of beauty. Cute or not, the mega mouth and the much-celebrated pout that has been trending for months can easily be created with ample use of lipsticks and lip liners. But, many teenagers didn't think twice to jump in and use unhealthy shortcuts to feverishly imitate their star, thus raising concerns over the upcoming generation of men and women who are preoccupied and fancied about celebrities and reality stars. Admiring the rich and the fabulous to a reasonable extend is in no way harmful, but an overgrowing affection as well as a blind and irrational admiration rings the warning sign that we are crossing the borderline, and should step back right away.
The entire billion-dollar industries of movies and television shows in fact revolve around our indefatigable obsession with celebs, which in a sensible amount can be a boost to our self-esteem. However, akin to this dangerous lip pouting stunt, the burning desire to resemble a celebrity might soon result in lowering the self-confidence, spurring terrible insecurity, thus ending up in a series of psychological disorders. If left unattended, the obsession would soon turn out to OCD and paranoia to adopt irreversible and invasive methods that might do unfathomable harm, instead of helping emulate the looks of a matinee idol or a TV star.
PS – Puckered lips can no way be called a yardstick to define one’s beauty. Try not to risk your body just to get a duck-like lips, which can hardly define your personality. They belong to someone else and not you!
At the outset, I must unashamedly admit to be an ardent fan of Miranda Kerr and do read her tweets whenever possible. This in no way means that I am afflicted with the much disastrous celebrity worship or obsession with celebrities: neither do I believe in imitating them by any means, nor do I harm my body to emulate. But unfortunately, we have a startling number of youth in our society who suffer from the stead-fast desire of acquiring the looks of their favourite stars by hook-or-crook, irrespective of the immense levels of risks involved. While celebrities are beauty and style inspirations for many, they indirectly dictate the lives of several others who remain obsessed with public figures. These insensible fans often pick cringe-worthy means to ape their favourite stars. Apart from attires and hairstyles, there has been a wild-fire-like passion for cosmetics and artificial looks, an increasingly contagious trend that often extends to absolute nonsense levels, when brain-dead fans blindly line-up to transform themselves into some badly-made copies of their favourite stars. A worthless, hopeless, and dangerous pursuit to justify their delusional worship!
As celebrities apparently undergo their body and style transformations in the recommended manner; their fans often take the most harming routes to imitate their favourite stars. But how far can one go to mimic one’s favourite celebrity? From similar attires to fancy hairstyles, the options to try out are endless. However, the other day, I was shocked to read about a much dangerous, and unquestionably the utmost dumbest, act of a few teens who used shot glasses and bottles to artificially plump their lips and emulate a reality TV star. Simply put, it turned out to be a challenge gone bonkers! While the Ice Bucket Challenge had a genuine cause to mention, and hardly left anyone with permanent harm, much against the medical advices of numerous experts from all over the world, this newest and stupidest trend, or a dangerous stunt, went on irrespective of the stern warnings of possible permanent damages. It makes me wonder about the brain quotient of those who impulsively jump to try out something as stupid as the do-it-yourself lip pouting craze, which can lead to permanent disfigurements. Despite being aware of the medical impacts and the possible chances of getting the blood vessels burst, several brainless teens tried to emulate the lips of their favourite star by adopting utmost unnatural and unsafe methods, and ended up in having weird swellings on their lips, which in turn looked far from the much-talked-about lush-lips that they hoped to have. While the entire antic was named as a “challenge” that took the social media by storm, in their desperate effort to get the 'pouty' lips that resemble their favourite star, our teens didn't think twice to use thrust and suck empty bottles and glasses to plump their lips, and later share disturbing results on social media. More shocking news came in soon, and it read that some of them even used a vacuum sucker to make their lips 'pouty', which I feel is the height of silliness and insensibility. After continuing the entire catastrophe and ending up with bruised and swollen lips, most of them soon found that their pouts were oddly sized out of proportion, leaving several injuries around the mouth, and letting them mourn for the disfigurement and pain.
I am not a fan of bee-stung pout, nor do I believe in calling it a sign of enviable beauty. After watching the widely disturbing images on social media, I cannot help but pity the youngsters who were keen on injuring their lips to secure the ‘famous pout’ or ‘create’ the supposedly 'enviable' ‘fuller lips’. Irrespective of being aware that this seventeen-something celebrity might have gone under the knife, used lip-plumping devices/injections, or generously spent hours every day to create her pout, our supposedly educated teenagers risked to mimic her and suffered severe facial injuries, only to find a strange response from their star that she never forced anyone to participate. So the bottom line is, what exactly was all the risk-taking for, or what on earth did they gain by using glasses and vacuum suckers for the most dangerous cosmetic transformations ever heard of? Such ultimate steps to get uncanny resemblances and that help earn the tag of a close look-alike of a movie star or a TV celeb are to be considered akin to insaneness, and not adoration. Good looks are hardly about having celebrity-like skin colour, nose, or lips, but about having high self-esteem and self-confidence. However, there is an increasingly huge number of people around who are not comfortable in their own skin, and are desperate to alter it and emulate a TV or movie star.
Celebrity worship is a kind of addiction, and becomes potentially dangerous when the level of imitation extends beyond the contours of safety. Yet, many in the society often get fooled by the wrong facades of beauty. Cute or not, the mega mouth and the much-celebrated pout that has been trending for months can easily be created with ample use of lipsticks and lip liners. But, many teenagers didn't think twice to jump in and use unhealthy shortcuts to feverishly imitate their star, thus raising concerns over the upcoming generation of men and women who are preoccupied and fancied about celebrities and reality stars. Admiring the rich and the fabulous to a reasonable extend is in no way harmful, but an overgrowing affection as well as a blind and irrational admiration rings the warning sign that we are crossing the borderline, and should step back right away.
The entire billion-dollar industries of movies and television shows in fact revolve around our indefatigable obsession with celebs, which in a sensible amount can be a boost to our self-esteem. However, akin to this dangerous lip pouting stunt, the burning desire to resemble a celebrity might soon result in lowering the self-confidence, spurring terrible insecurity, thus ending up in a series of psychological disorders. If left unattended, the obsession would soon turn out to OCD and paranoia to adopt irreversible and invasive methods that might do unfathomable harm, instead of helping emulate the looks of a matinee idol or a TV star.
PS – Puckered lips can no way be called a yardstick to define one’s beauty. Try not to risk your body just to get a duck-like lips, which can hardly define your personality. They belong to someone else and not you!
Celebration of ‘adultery’
A lot has been written, spoken, and discussed about women’s rights, freedom, the ongoing struggles against misogyny, and several other issues of relevance in today’s knowledgeable yet regressive society of ours. However, here is a news story that drove me into a chain of thoughts on what can be called the downside or misuse of the freedom that women have been craving since ages. Irrespective of being happily single, I have always looked upon the institution of marriage as a sacred unison of two individuals, the reason why this news story of a woman who has had an open marriage for a year, and proudly bedded more than a dozen of men and women, almost shocked me to death. Adding to the jolt is her memoir and proud revelations of the yearlong escapades that forced her and her husband of 18 years to part ways and never look back. While I do agree on her right to live her life on her own terms, the disagreement lies in her way of exalting her 12 months long shenanigans in the pretext of freeing herself from a disastrous marriage.
While she happily savours the bygone moments on her memoir and in the entire set of interviews on print and visual media, I cannot help but wonder what exactly she is trying to glorify through penning a chronicle on her yearlong sexual adventure. In spite of having several other reasonable options including an amicable divorce which could have been the easiest way to bid goodbye to someone who mercilessly dashed her hopes of motherhood by doing a vasectomy, much to my surprise, she has no reason to say on why she failed to choose a legal separation, and instead opted for an open marriage, or in plain words, cheating on her partner with his permission, while living her weekends like a dutiful wife. Boredom of routine sex life, the miniscule list of lovers, and the unquenchable urge to have a child, the reasons to justify the morality depletion are many. Though I am no one to question her need for an exceptional sex life, I find all her reasons to be hypocritical and pretentious, no matter whether it’s the loss of opportunities of bedding more men, or her unwillingness to go to grave with no children. An over the edge decision, a yearlong flings with strangers, and a handful of experiences to cash on, she did make it big with her reckless living, but could have avoided reasoning it as her yearning for motherhood, as she could have embraced parenthood even without the uncontrolled living she has had, and is proud about.
The narrative and the author’s perspective of spicing up or bringing energy and excitement to marital life have been narrowed down to having sex with random men and women, which I believe is downright ridiculous and absurd. While I do admit that I lack the real-life experience to authentically argue on the state of a mind of a woman who is robbed of her chances of motherhood, I can undoubtedly say that that neither was this woman keen on embracing motherhood, nor was she interested in getting pregnant with a stranger’s baby, as she has openly described her sojourn as finding the passion for living. Then again, rekindling the innate connection with one’s own feminine self can hardly be defined as having several one nightstands with random men and women. It only quenches one’s carnal hunger and never ends the quest to rekindling the bondage with one’s own womanhood.
As her hook-ups, steamy sex, and intimate encounters are getting sold as hot cakes, I wonder what she has achieved in return of the risk her marital life through an over-the-edge decision. Her marriage sputtered out, her motherhood dreams failed to metamorphose, and yet she calls it an exciting year go by. I might be ridiculed for my old-fashioned rationale; however, the entire story looks completely irrational to me, mainly because she has badly failed to successfully flaunt her reasons in the much-needed perfection. Her explanations are more like self-praising and self-congratulatory narratives, than her longing for motherhood or self-fulfilment. The story even fails to extend to the contours of feministic perspectives, the reason why I cannot fathom the exact reason why she wanted to publish a memoir on her sexual escapades as well as the men she slept with outside her marriage. Rather than calling it a passion-filled tale of physical gratification, I am tempted to call it a cautionary narrative that has to be re-titled as ‘How to wreck a marriage’. She is keen on cashing on a bunch of sexually explicit stories, yet describes herself a die-hard feminist. But I believe she has terribly failed to reach the realm that a true-blue feminist deserves to be in, because, with a bunch of reasons-for-reasons-sake, she embarked on a midlife infidelity for a year, and is now on a deliberate attempt to glorify the adultery she has committed.
With an entire range of verbal juggleries that she desperately embraces to unfold and justify her unorthodox living, the story never empowered me but instead left a feeling of absolute blankness. Neither can I fathom how sleeping with many people make her feel good about not having a kid, nor do I understand the name and the page dedicated for the baby girl she hoped to have. If that was what she has always wanted, options that she could have chosen were endless.
While she happily savours the bygone moments on her memoir and in the entire set of interviews on print and visual media, I cannot help but wonder what exactly she is trying to glorify through penning a chronicle on her yearlong sexual adventure. In spite of having several other reasonable options including an amicable divorce which could have been the easiest way to bid goodbye to someone who mercilessly dashed her hopes of motherhood by doing a vasectomy, much to my surprise, she has no reason to say on why she failed to choose a legal separation, and instead opted for an open marriage, or in plain words, cheating on her partner with his permission, while living her weekends like a dutiful wife. Boredom of routine sex life, the miniscule list of lovers, and the unquenchable urge to have a child, the reasons to justify the morality depletion are many. Though I am no one to question her need for an exceptional sex life, I find all her reasons to be hypocritical and pretentious, no matter whether it’s the loss of opportunities of bedding more men, or her unwillingness to go to grave with no children. An over the edge decision, a yearlong flings with strangers, and a handful of experiences to cash on, she did make it big with her reckless living, but could have avoided reasoning it as her yearning for motherhood, as she could have embraced parenthood even without the uncontrolled living she has had, and is proud about.
The narrative and the author’s perspective of spicing up or bringing energy and excitement to marital life have been narrowed down to having sex with random men and women, which I believe is downright ridiculous and absurd. While I do admit that I lack the real-life experience to authentically argue on the state of a mind of a woman who is robbed of her chances of motherhood, I can undoubtedly say that that neither was this woman keen on embracing motherhood, nor was she interested in getting pregnant with a stranger’s baby, as she has openly described her sojourn as finding the passion for living. Then again, rekindling the innate connection with one’s own feminine self can hardly be defined as having several one nightstands with random men and women. It only quenches one’s carnal hunger and never ends the quest to rekindling the bondage with one’s own womanhood.
As her hook-ups, steamy sex, and intimate encounters are getting sold as hot cakes, I wonder what she has achieved in return of the risk her marital life through an over-the-edge decision. Her marriage sputtered out, her motherhood dreams failed to metamorphose, and yet she calls it an exciting year go by. I might be ridiculed for my old-fashioned rationale; however, the entire story looks completely irrational to me, mainly because she has badly failed to successfully flaunt her reasons in the much-needed perfection. Her explanations are more like self-praising and self-congratulatory narratives, than her longing for motherhood or self-fulfilment. The story even fails to extend to the contours of feministic perspectives, the reason why I cannot fathom the exact reason why she wanted to publish a memoir on her sexual escapades as well as the men she slept with outside her marriage. Rather than calling it a passion-filled tale of physical gratification, I am tempted to call it a cautionary narrative that has to be re-titled as ‘How to wreck a marriage’. She is keen on cashing on a bunch of sexually explicit stories, yet describes herself a die-hard feminist. But I believe she has terribly failed to reach the realm that a true-blue feminist deserves to be in, because, with a bunch of reasons-for-reasons-sake, she embarked on a midlife infidelity for a year, and is now on a deliberate attempt to glorify the adultery she has committed.
With an entire range of verbal juggleries that she desperately embraces to unfold and justify her unorthodox living, the story never empowered me but instead left a feeling of absolute blankness. Neither can I fathom how sleeping with many people make her feel good about not having a kid, nor do I understand the name and the page dedicated for the baby girl she hoped to have. If that was what she has always wanted, options that she could have chosen were endless.
When rags help them make enviable fortunes
Is begging a money minting profession? While many of us might vehemently deny, interesting facts that are put forth on a leading website prove us wrong. After having read about the richness that begging can help amass, I cannot help but mock at some of the new age parents out there, who are obstinate on imposing a set of career choices on their children, while depriving them of their dreams and ambitions. Had these parents been given a chance to have a close look at the wealth that some of the richest beggars in our country have amassed, I am sure they would have re-erected their mind-set on the viable jobs that their children must pursue, and look beyond medical and engineering fields. This unconventional path has helped some of the pioneer beggars out there amass enviable amount of cash, thus giving our elite IITians and IIM grads a run for their money.
One among the forty plus entrepreneurial ‘mendicant’ has begged his way to owning two luxury apartments in a leading metro, each worth about 70 to 80 lakhs, apart from earning about 75 to 80 thousand rupees from open-minded alms givers, which means he effortlessly earns much more than the average salary of the highest government official in his state. Shocking me further, the article about him also read that he owns several other businesses that are successfully run by his family members. While a major part of the nation showers pity and offerings on the supposedly small-time beggars who skilfully narrate their woes, the actuality is far from what’s being projected. While the fruits of labour of many such beggars help them earn humongous money from some of the busy traffic intersections that we pass by, most of us knowingly and unknowingly contribute intensely to promoting this deceitful occupation, making it the most profitable way of earning a living in our country. Many of us are in fact guilty of giving away a whooping amount of money as alms to the undeserved and unworthy, only to boast about our willingness to help the poor and needy. This makes me want to share a personal experience which almost took away my kindness and compassion for mendicants. After giving alms generously to a physically disabled old man whom I used to find in our bus stand, I was shocked one fine day, upon realizing that he was in fact blowing the entire money on booze each day. As he came to me the next day with his usual antics, I shouted and shooed him away in anger.
Irrespective of a stream of advancements and developments that we are living amongst, begging has sky-rocketed to becoming a thriving business in our country because we are emotionally too vulnerable to believing the phony stories of woes and predicaments that are brilliantly crafted by devious beggars who are well aware of making wise use of our sympathy and love for the deprived. While giving away substantial amount of money with the hope of bringing in a change in the life of an underprivileged person, many of us deliberately forget the fact that begging is in fact a 200 crore industry in our country. While adult mendicants flock in abundance to earn a living by begging on busy streets and railway stations, what makes me feel sick to the stomach is the cruellest exploitation that child beggars face. Rag clad and sometimes unclothed children who keep pounding on the windows of cars and other vehicles, or sifting through garbage in the hope of finding a few morsels of food are common sights in our country. But what often goes unnoticed is the terror in the glares of these helpless children. While most of us continue to believe that these little ones slog away each day holding the burden of their family on their frail shoulders, the reality is far horrific from what we get to get to see, as most of them are often horrifically exploited by adult beggars who are well aware of the fact that children can mint more money than adults. While the major share of the money earned goes to the adult gang leaders, children are given mere pennies that are hardly sufficient for their daily meals. Beggar syndicates often abduct, and disfigure children and deliberately leave them starved for days together, before making them beg on the streets, often accompanied by women who pose as their mothers.
As the rich affluent in our country continue to make their way towards greater magnitudes of richness, innumerable breeds of ‘professional’ beggars are toiling hard to give their elite counterparts the toughest competition in terms of monthly earnings. While the sight of these deprived looking mendicants sitting down on dirt filled pavements and roads might falsely echo countless stories of poverty and distress, behind the misguiding pretexts, begging is actually ‘passionate and dedicated’ ‘profession’ for each one of them, With several years of panhandling on various streets of our cities, many of them secretly accumulate enviable fortunes and become millionaires, and yet continue to dupe us with torn clothes and poverty-stricken looks that are often achieved with skilful makeups that can easily con the philanthropists amongst us.
While getting tricked into believing that all the shabbily dressed mendicants belong to the underprivileged and unfortunate class of our society, we are unknowingly depriving the dark underbelly of the society by giving away their share of benefits to the tricksters who appear in the guise of ill-fated panhandlers. A ban on begging is hardly an apt solution to deal with conning of begging mafia. Instead, we need more emphatic and rigid rules, apart from vigilant authorities that keep a check on the increasingly sprouting begging mafia in our country. But sadly we are neither watchful about this snowballing disgrace, nor keen on curbing rogues from duping us in the disguise of poverty.
The next time when you generously help an adult beggar, remember that he might be wealthier than you!
One among the forty plus entrepreneurial ‘mendicant’ has begged his way to owning two luxury apartments in a leading metro, each worth about 70 to 80 lakhs, apart from earning about 75 to 80 thousand rupees from open-minded alms givers, which means he effortlessly earns much more than the average salary of the highest government official in his state. Shocking me further, the article about him also read that he owns several other businesses that are successfully run by his family members. While a major part of the nation showers pity and offerings on the supposedly small-time beggars who skilfully narrate their woes, the actuality is far from what’s being projected. While the fruits of labour of many such beggars help them earn humongous money from some of the busy traffic intersections that we pass by, most of us knowingly and unknowingly contribute intensely to promoting this deceitful occupation, making it the most profitable way of earning a living in our country. Many of us are in fact guilty of giving away a whooping amount of money as alms to the undeserved and unworthy, only to boast about our willingness to help the poor and needy. This makes me want to share a personal experience which almost took away my kindness and compassion for mendicants. After giving alms generously to a physically disabled old man whom I used to find in our bus stand, I was shocked one fine day, upon realizing that he was in fact blowing the entire money on booze each day. As he came to me the next day with his usual antics, I shouted and shooed him away in anger.
Irrespective of a stream of advancements and developments that we are living amongst, begging has sky-rocketed to becoming a thriving business in our country because we are emotionally too vulnerable to believing the phony stories of woes and predicaments that are brilliantly crafted by devious beggars who are well aware of making wise use of our sympathy and love for the deprived. While giving away substantial amount of money with the hope of bringing in a change in the life of an underprivileged person, many of us deliberately forget the fact that begging is in fact a 200 crore industry in our country. While adult mendicants flock in abundance to earn a living by begging on busy streets and railway stations, what makes me feel sick to the stomach is the cruellest exploitation that child beggars face. Rag clad and sometimes unclothed children who keep pounding on the windows of cars and other vehicles, or sifting through garbage in the hope of finding a few morsels of food are common sights in our country. But what often goes unnoticed is the terror in the glares of these helpless children. While most of us continue to believe that these little ones slog away each day holding the burden of their family on their frail shoulders, the reality is far horrific from what we get to get to see, as most of them are often horrifically exploited by adult beggars who are well aware of the fact that children can mint more money than adults. While the major share of the money earned goes to the adult gang leaders, children are given mere pennies that are hardly sufficient for their daily meals. Beggar syndicates often abduct, and disfigure children and deliberately leave them starved for days together, before making them beg on the streets, often accompanied by women who pose as their mothers.
As the rich affluent in our country continue to make their way towards greater magnitudes of richness, innumerable breeds of ‘professional’ beggars are toiling hard to give their elite counterparts the toughest competition in terms of monthly earnings. While the sight of these deprived looking mendicants sitting down on dirt filled pavements and roads might falsely echo countless stories of poverty and distress, behind the misguiding pretexts, begging is actually ‘passionate and dedicated’ ‘profession’ for each one of them, With several years of panhandling on various streets of our cities, many of them secretly accumulate enviable fortunes and become millionaires, and yet continue to dupe us with torn clothes and poverty-stricken looks that are often achieved with skilful makeups that can easily con the philanthropists amongst us.
While getting tricked into believing that all the shabbily dressed mendicants belong to the underprivileged and unfortunate class of our society, we are unknowingly depriving the dark underbelly of the society by giving away their share of benefits to the tricksters who appear in the guise of ill-fated panhandlers. A ban on begging is hardly an apt solution to deal with conning of begging mafia. Instead, we need more emphatic and rigid rules, apart from vigilant authorities that keep a check on the increasingly sprouting begging mafia in our country. But sadly we are neither watchful about this snowballing disgrace, nor keen on curbing rogues from duping us in the disguise of poverty.
The next time when you generously help an adult beggar, remember that he might be wealthier than you!
My way of dealing with leering
After having worked amidst more number of men than women, I can undoubtedly say that I am more thick-skinned now than I have ever been. Gone are the days when I used to get offended and hurt at the drop of a hat, and hated men around for their impertinence and inherent trait of leaving no stones to degrade women whenever possible. Backed by years of good and bad experiences, my mind has been fine-tuned to be at both giving and receiving end, and accept and return scorns and scoffs with equal velocity and magnitude. I have finally learned the artless art of standing apart in the midst of men folk around me who keep boasting on their make-believe brain power and sensibility, while ridiculing women as senseless and brainless minorities. While I am used to bearing these trivial and imprudent arguments and attitudes, there’s one trait of men that continues to surprise me, as I am yet to decipher the reason why they remain addicted to that strange habit, irrespective of age. The strangest part of the story lies in the fact that this odd trait is commonly found amongst men in our country. Is there a hidden virus that we are yet to discover, or is there a genetic combination that our scientists haven’t noticed at, if not, what is that single reason that makes our men stare so shamelessly at women around them, no matter whether they are as young as five, or as old as fifty five? Being on the receiving end of someone's ogle is not as peachy as how it is portrayed in some of the commercials that we get to see. The last among the ogling sessions that I have had was on Saturday, at the bus stop close by our hostel. In spite of draping me in a loose salwar which is far from sex, revealing or provocative, I couldn't escape the stares of men who either walked beside me, or drove their way towards the bus stand. Shocking me further, a man almost forgot to blink his eyes while lecherously staring at me from a nearby building! While the stare-to-strip race went on with baton being exchanged from one to another, my bus arrived and I quickly boarded in, leaving behind the long line of ‘admirers’ around.
While it can be a fun hobby for some, lascivious staring can also result from hideous motives. Every time a woman walks past, the devil soon awakes to lure men to stare at her in the most discreet and pervert manner, while some extent further to the strip-mode. Despite the fact that I have never witnessed a ‘scary stare’ as of now, I can undoubtedly say that staring of all kind is annoying, no matter what the hidden intention is. If men believe in ‘complementing’ women through their incessant stares, they are yet to realize that no woman can accept that salacious praise open-heartedly. With that said I must also say that when women get offended, they often end up being victims of more intense, creepy and annoying gazes. Does that mean men use staring as a tactful way to attract a woman’s attention? Are women vulnerable to yelling at every man who desperately wants some attention back? I am not-sure, as it can never be answered without a whole lot of hard-core psychological reasons that I can hardly write about.
However, here is my thought on how to avoid getting distraught about annoying leers. Rather than displaying a distressing body language followed by a perturbed yell, if we shrug off the less offensive ogles, and tactfully save ourselves from the creepy and annoying ones, I believe that staring might never rise to become as bothersome as it is believed to be. While some of you might call this to be an act of cowardice, here is the reason that backs this thought of mine – when you can’t change something, it’s better to change your tactic and outlook towards the unchangeable. Doesn't that sound sensible now? While some men intend to piss off women and some others carry streams of hideous thoughts behind those vicious stares, in both the cases, most of these wayward men are hell-bent on remaining the way they are. Hence, giving a piece of your mind would only make matters worse and never change them, especially in a country where raping or sodomizing to death continue to make headlines each day.
Whenever I come across men who instinctively turn their ‘lenses’ on lewdly, I also wonder whether such men really ‘inspect’, leer, and drool over every woman they clap their eyes on. I do feel they stare at most of them and not just the beautiful, petite or voluptuous alone, desperately hoping to get stared back. Much to their happiness and gratification, most women exchange glances, either out of curiosity or as a way of expressing their displeasure. Either ways, they make men happy in their triumphant effort to attract the attention of the women they choose to target for god-knows-what reasons. The reciprocations take men close to their second phase of staring, which is often ‘spiced’ up with lustful looks and lewd comments, making woman feel that intense puking sensation which erupts straight from the gut. This brings in my way of dealing with stares, good bad and ugly – thicken your mind and skin, ignore the glances and just move away. Because, most men are so intensely programmed to shamelessly stare at women of all ages. Though it’s ridiculous and annoying, they will continue to stare at women for many more ages to come. So why bother to irk your tiresome mind or rack your already worn-out brain, instead, why not shift to the impassive ignore-mode and save yourself?
Anecdote – Here is an interesting statistical data that I found on a leading newspaper:
An average man will spend almost 43 minutes a day staring at 10 different women.
That adds up to 259 hours - almost 11 days - each year, making a total 11 months and 11 days between the ages of 18 and 50.
Need I say more?
While it can be a fun hobby for some, lascivious staring can also result from hideous motives. Every time a woman walks past, the devil soon awakes to lure men to stare at her in the most discreet and pervert manner, while some extent further to the strip-mode. Despite the fact that I have never witnessed a ‘scary stare’ as of now, I can undoubtedly say that staring of all kind is annoying, no matter what the hidden intention is. If men believe in ‘complementing’ women through their incessant stares, they are yet to realize that no woman can accept that salacious praise open-heartedly. With that said I must also say that when women get offended, they often end up being victims of more intense, creepy and annoying gazes. Does that mean men use staring as a tactful way to attract a woman’s attention? Are women vulnerable to yelling at every man who desperately wants some attention back? I am not-sure, as it can never be answered without a whole lot of hard-core psychological reasons that I can hardly write about.
However, here is my thought on how to avoid getting distraught about annoying leers. Rather than displaying a distressing body language followed by a perturbed yell, if we shrug off the less offensive ogles, and tactfully save ourselves from the creepy and annoying ones, I believe that staring might never rise to become as bothersome as it is believed to be. While some of you might call this to be an act of cowardice, here is the reason that backs this thought of mine – when you can’t change something, it’s better to change your tactic and outlook towards the unchangeable. Doesn't that sound sensible now? While some men intend to piss off women and some others carry streams of hideous thoughts behind those vicious stares, in both the cases, most of these wayward men are hell-bent on remaining the way they are. Hence, giving a piece of your mind would only make matters worse and never change them, especially in a country where raping or sodomizing to death continue to make headlines each day.
Whenever I come across men who instinctively turn their ‘lenses’ on lewdly, I also wonder whether such men really ‘inspect’, leer, and drool over every woman they clap their eyes on. I do feel they stare at most of them and not just the beautiful, petite or voluptuous alone, desperately hoping to get stared back. Much to their happiness and gratification, most women exchange glances, either out of curiosity or as a way of expressing their displeasure. Either ways, they make men happy in their triumphant effort to attract the attention of the women they choose to target for god-knows-what reasons. The reciprocations take men close to their second phase of staring, which is often ‘spiced’ up with lustful looks and lewd comments, making woman feel that intense puking sensation which erupts straight from the gut. This brings in my way of dealing with stares, good bad and ugly – thicken your mind and skin, ignore the glances and just move away. Because, most men are so intensely programmed to shamelessly stare at women of all ages. Though it’s ridiculous and annoying, they will continue to stare at women for many more ages to come. So why bother to irk your tiresome mind or rack your already worn-out brain, instead, why not shift to the impassive ignore-mode and save yourself?
Anecdote – Here is an interesting statistical data that I found on a leading newspaper:
An average man will spend almost 43 minutes a day staring at 10 different women.
That adds up to 259 hours - almost 11 days - each year, making a total 11 months and 11 days between the ages of 18 and 50.
Need I say more?
An ordinary woman with an unusual job
No matter whether it’s a job or a lifestyle, when it comes to defying conventional yardsticks and societal norms, we do hesitate a bit, and remain obstinate about walking through the pre-set pathways, thus saving ourselves from becoming victims of scorns and scoffs from people around. While I believe that everyone is entitled to make their own choices, the world around is often unreasonably prejudiced when it comes to categorizing certain people based on their jobs and lifestyle. Rather than delving deeper into knowing them and situations that forced them into adopting what we categorize as odd jobs and bizarre lifestyles, we are often vulnerable to believing the hearsays that swirl around the professional and personal choices they make, to make both ends meet. I am not intending to glorify them or sympathise for the decisions they have made in life, but, I also don’t intend to be judgemental about every choice that the world disapproves with raised eyebrows. Rather than letting my mind wander and make presumptions about a supposedly odd sounding job or way of life, I believe in looking out for the reasons that resulted in the apparently unusual choices. This is where I have a story to share, about a middle aged woman who works as a muse for several art students. Posing as a muse or a life model is far from the glitzy and glamourous catwalks that we watch every day. Unclothed and unmoving, she has to tirelessly and pose for painters, sketchers and sculptors, practically every day. But unlike the popular perception, life modelling is not prostitution.
Being a professional life model demands an incomparable mental strength and focus, apart from the incredible capability to look past some of the occasional creepy and lecherous stares. Surprisingly, irrespective of being less than averagely educated, she does it all with impressive zeal and vigour, while keeping her embarrassments at bay. She is courageous enough to look beyond the contours of conventionality, thus making the world believe and accept the fact that taking one’s clothes off for money needn't be always exploitative. While I can guess the amount of splutter, disbelief and ridicule that she might have stumbled upon, I appreciate her for paying no heeds to those who are drone focussed on finding out the wrong end of the stick. While it might sound sordid to many, we intentionally forget the fact that she has a family to take care of, the reason why is forced to take her clothes off for money.
Though many women have been posing nude for art since ages, we’re still prudish and prejudiced about them, as they willingly stand butt naked for the sake of monetary benefits. Life modelling is both physically exhausting and mentally tiring. Moreover, its takes a commendably extraordinary mind-set to choose a job that involves sitting naked and still for several hours, in front of numerous strangers, gracefully and elegantly. However, she does it absolute pride, akin to the gratification that most of us gain from our day-to-day works. With no enviable looks and desirable figure to boast of, she is an ordinary woman who made herself available to an unusual job. Surprisingly, she is gifted with an amazing confidence and desirably positive attitude that makes her do a job that normal people might be too curious to know and discuss about, but hardly dare to attempt doing it even once. Her astonishing courage made me ponder over a poignant thread of thoughts on her struggle to earn a dignified space in our conservative society which is yet to grow up to accept her profession and change its age-old perceptions about women. The moral brigades around would find it hard to forgive her for challenging their rigid norms. Irrespective of the fact that none of the closed-minded saviours out there would lend her and many such women a helping hand, they would leave no stones unturned to fiercely set-up a cavalry of like-minded culture protectors who might rob her of her only source of revenue and force to embrace death as an escape from sheer poverty.
The awkwardness related to life modelling often comes the misguided idea that nude or semi-nude modelling is the same as that of making oneself vulnerable to be exploited. Misconceptions related to nude modelling are often related to the eroticism that most people look at, whereas, the actuality is way beyond this prejudiced notion. At the outset, no woman would willingly opt to take her clothes off, the reason why I could gauge the terrible familial circumstances that forced her shed her inhibitions and bear the uncomfortableness of being nude in front of a roomful of art students, so that she can feed herself and her children each day. However, in a desperately stereotypical society that’s keen on categorizing and judging people around, I wonder which group will such women would fall into, for being proud of their extraordinary profession. While narrow-mindedness that prevail in our society might mercilessly mock at them mindlessly, I really hope they can uphold their courage, self-respect and belief, thus retaining the happiness and dignity that they enjoy in their unusual profession, while safeguarding themselves from being exploited.
Anecdote – If we can broad-mindedly accept porn stars, laud the gross amount of erotic content in our main stream movies, and applaud the actors without inhibitions, it would be disingenuous to poke fun at a life model who makes a living by working as a nude model, just because it's a profession that’s way beyond our sphere of understanding.
Being a professional life model demands an incomparable mental strength and focus, apart from the incredible capability to look past some of the occasional creepy and lecherous stares. Surprisingly, irrespective of being less than averagely educated, she does it all with impressive zeal and vigour, while keeping her embarrassments at bay. She is courageous enough to look beyond the contours of conventionality, thus making the world believe and accept the fact that taking one’s clothes off for money needn't be always exploitative. While I can guess the amount of splutter, disbelief and ridicule that she might have stumbled upon, I appreciate her for paying no heeds to those who are drone focussed on finding out the wrong end of the stick. While it might sound sordid to many, we intentionally forget the fact that she has a family to take care of, the reason why is forced to take her clothes off for money.
Though many women have been posing nude for art since ages, we’re still prudish and prejudiced about them, as they willingly stand butt naked for the sake of monetary benefits. Life modelling is both physically exhausting and mentally tiring. Moreover, its takes a commendably extraordinary mind-set to choose a job that involves sitting naked and still for several hours, in front of numerous strangers, gracefully and elegantly. However, she does it absolute pride, akin to the gratification that most of us gain from our day-to-day works. With no enviable looks and desirable figure to boast of, she is an ordinary woman who made herself available to an unusual job. Surprisingly, she is gifted with an amazing confidence and desirably positive attitude that makes her do a job that normal people might be too curious to know and discuss about, but hardly dare to attempt doing it even once. Her astonishing courage made me ponder over a poignant thread of thoughts on her struggle to earn a dignified space in our conservative society which is yet to grow up to accept her profession and change its age-old perceptions about women. The moral brigades around would find it hard to forgive her for challenging their rigid norms. Irrespective of the fact that none of the closed-minded saviours out there would lend her and many such women a helping hand, they would leave no stones unturned to fiercely set-up a cavalry of like-minded culture protectors who might rob her of her only source of revenue and force to embrace death as an escape from sheer poverty.
The awkwardness related to life modelling often comes the misguided idea that nude or semi-nude modelling is the same as that of making oneself vulnerable to be exploited. Misconceptions related to nude modelling are often related to the eroticism that most people look at, whereas, the actuality is way beyond this prejudiced notion. At the outset, no woman would willingly opt to take her clothes off, the reason why I could gauge the terrible familial circumstances that forced her shed her inhibitions and bear the uncomfortableness of being nude in front of a roomful of art students, so that she can feed herself and her children each day. However, in a desperately stereotypical society that’s keen on categorizing and judging people around, I wonder which group will such women would fall into, for being proud of their extraordinary profession. While narrow-mindedness that prevail in our society might mercilessly mock at them mindlessly, I really hope they can uphold their courage, self-respect and belief, thus retaining the happiness and dignity that they enjoy in their unusual profession, while safeguarding themselves from being exploited.
Anecdote – If we can broad-mindedly accept porn stars, laud the gross amount of erotic content in our main stream movies, and applaud the actors without inhibitions, it would be disingenuous to poke fun at a life model who makes a living by working as a nude model, just because it's a profession that’s way beyond our sphere of understanding.
Scriped ‘dramalities’ and unscripted hullabaloos
While they are hailed as the most attention-grabbing alternatives that give the daily soap operas a run for their money, today’s reality shows are far from the much-spoken-about reality that they promise to serve. Despite the fact that myriads of these most-watched reality fiascos continue to display everything from happiness to anger and hatred to apparently intense love, I have often felt that each bit of the on screen persona of most of the self-professed reality stars are carefully scripted with the aim of spicing and dramatizing the shows to the verge of sickening displaying of larger-than-life emotions that are far from grounded realities.
From loud abuses and slaps to picking up nasty fights, indulging in naughty and bitchy conversations and enjoying ‘washroom’ romances, the contestants can even pitifully shamelessly smooch or make out as per pre-written scripts, in order to quench their thirst for fame and money. While some portray themselves to be delicate darlings by crying their hearts out at the drop of a hat, some others are inexplicably thick-skinned to make controversy out of every single incident.
Irrespective of watching a few episodes of these widely talked about shows, I haven’t yet found out the reason that makes them the true-blue crowd-pullers that allure both young and old alike. From petty cat-fights to shameless PDAs, each moment of such shows cater oodles of trashy content that has zero value for the viewers who are subtly tricked into believing that whatever they get to watch on the screen are happening for real. However, when you look at them carefully, each word and deed of the participants continue to shout out the message that all that said and done things are well-scripted and brilliantly practiced to perfection.
But sadly, most of the viewers are addictively engrossed in the happenings, and takein them beyond significance, thus ending up draining their entire energy on the non-stop spree to defend/rebuke these stars with their verbal abilities, on any social media they have access to. While these loyal viewers are all in praise of their preferred reality celebs, they revengefully scoff, scorn, and abuse everyone who disagrees with the brazenness of their favourite reality stars. However, the unseen reality might shock these ardent fans who might never imagine even in their wildest dreams that the intenseness of love, wrath, and fury that’s being displayed onscreen often dies out as soon as the curtains fall. Or, when precisely put, JO DIKHTA HAI WO HOTA NAHI HAI AUR JO HOTA HAI WHO DIKTA NAHI HAI.
As I continue to wonder how these men and women on reality shows gather the courage to speak foul, smooch publically, manhandle fellow contestants, and backbite shamelessly in front of numerous cameras, all for the sake of adding loads of ‘reality’ to their shows, I am equally amazed to see how such faked incidents trigger endless unnecessary debates on social media. What surprises me more is the loyalty and intermittent ferocity of many self-confessed fans who never leave any stones unturned to cry foul and make long furore and hullaballoo with utmost derogatory and crass language.
Even if I am told to believe that these uproars to be the smart antics of the PR machineries that work for these stars, I am sure that such crowds would defenitely have a notable number of ‘genuine’ fans as well, who get too itchy watching their favourite star getting ‘dissed’ on the show, the reason why they soon jump on to social media platforms to give vent to their anger and resentment. Each day on shows end with endless verbal battles on petty ‘reality’ issues that hardly matter to anyone of them or for the public. However, none of these self-proclaimed fans are keen on making use of their common sense to decipher that they are indulging in conversations that are hardly of any importance to them, instead helping a series of scripted incidents and talentless reality stars garner tons of free publicity. These unwanted outcries can only snip away the priceless hours that are to be used wisely in life, to do something beneficial. Yet, many viewers are swayed by the impulsiveness that these shows create, leading them to unceasingly voicing their opinions and comments, thus inviting many more people to join such numerous meaningless conversations.
I am not against putting forth one’s genuine opinion on TV shows or movies. But I do believe in a borderline and timeframe that has to be maintained, while articulating opinions in public. Stretching useless conversations, spiking them with ‘choicest’ cuss word and insult, and spending days to extend it to gross and nauseating war of words would never do anything good to any of these supposedly devoted viewers or fans. Instead, it would only rob them off the precious and incalculable hours that make use of to do several things that are useful and beneficial to them, as well as many other people around.
Among many examples of such senseless conversations that I have read during these years, here is one that I felt is the height of stupidity. Assuming that a celebrity had fallen in love with a co-contestant in a reality show that was aired last year, endless conversations on their ‘budding’ romance surfaced on various social media platforms. While some of the fans showered their unconditional love, blessings, and support on the pair and painstakingly coined a linguistic blend with the name of both the stars , some others rained inexcusable abuses on them for their endless PDAs that ‘un-Indian’ behaviour on national television. Much to the shock of the devoted fans and their bitchy counterparts, the couple came out in public after the show and stated that there was no love in the air. While their fans went ahead and continued their rants on the reasons behind the spit, their foes kept sniffing for possibilities of the impending hook-ups of both the stars. As the lovers and haters continued sharing their tirades and judgements, the reality stars kept riding high on their new-found fame, minting more and more money each day, while their fans and foes continued wasting days and weeks together to keep up with their conversations to support/dis the stars, gaining nothing.
Anecdote - In the effort to tweet endlessly and verbally demolish a reality star on Twitter, won’t it be wise to make use of that time to read a blog on health or post some messages on a more important and genuine topic? Don't get me wrong. I am not a hypocrite, and admit having watched a handful of episodes of reality shows. However, what I really disagree with is spending our priceless days on futile discussions about those shit loads of scripted drama. Shouldn't we doing something better?
From loud abuses and slaps to picking up nasty fights, indulging in naughty and bitchy conversations and enjoying ‘washroom’ romances, the contestants can even pitifully shamelessly smooch or make out as per pre-written scripts, in order to quench their thirst for fame and money. While some portray themselves to be delicate darlings by crying their hearts out at the drop of a hat, some others are inexplicably thick-skinned to make controversy out of every single incident.
Irrespective of watching a few episodes of these widely talked about shows, I haven’t yet found out the reason that makes them the true-blue crowd-pullers that allure both young and old alike. From petty cat-fights to shameless PDAs, each moment of such shows cater oodles of trashy content that has zero value for the viewers who are subtly tricked into believing that whatever they get to watch on the screen are happening for real. However, when you look at them carefully, each word and deed of the participants continue to shout out the message that all that said and done things are well-scripted and brilliantly practiced to perfection.
But sadly, most of the viewers are addictively engrossed in the happenings, and takein them beyond significance, thus ending up draining their entire energy on the non-stop spree to defend/rebuke these stars with their verbal abilities, on any social media they have access to. While these loyal viewers are all in praise of their preferred reality celebs, they revengefully scoff, scorn, and abuse everyone who disagrees with the brazenness of their favourite reality stars. However, the unseen reality might shock these ardent fans who might never imagine even in their wildest dreams that the intenseness of love, wrath, and fury that’s being displayed onscreen often dies out as soon as the curtains fall. Or, when precisely put, JO DIKHTA HAI WO HOTA NAHI HAI AUR JO HOTA HAI WHO DIKTA NAHI HAI.
As I continue to wonder how these men and women on reality shows gather the courage to speak foul, smooch publically, manhandle fellow contestants, and backbite shamelessly in front of numerous cameras, all for the sake of adding loads of ‘reality’ to their shows, I am equally amazed to see how such faked incidents trigger endless unnecessary debates on social media. What surprises me more is the loyalty and intermittent ferocity of many self-confessed fans who never leave any stones unturned to cry foul and make long furore and hullaballoo with utmost derogatory and crass language.
Even if I am told to believe that these uproars to be the smart antics of the PR machineries that work for these stars, I am sure that such crowds would defenitely have a notable number of ‘genuine’ fans as well, who get too itchy watching their favourite star getting ‘dissed’ on the show, the reason why they soon jump on to social media platforms to give vent to their anger and resentment. Each day on shows end with endless verbal battles on petty ‘reality’ issues that hardly matter to anyone of them or for the public. However, none of these self-proclaimed fans are keen on making use of their common sense to decipher that they are indulging in conversations that are hardly of any importance to them, instead helping a series of scripted incidents and talentless reality stars garner tons of free publicity. These unwanted outcries can only snip away the priceless hours that are to be used wisely in life, to do something beneficial. Yet, many viewers are swayed by the impulsiveness that these shows create, leading them to unceasingly voicing their opinions and comments, thus inviting many more people to join such numerous meaningless conversations.
I am not against putting forth one’s genuine opinion on TV shows or movies. But I do believe in a borderline and timeframe that has to be maintained, while articulating opinions in public. Stretching useless conversations, spiking them with ‘choicest’ cuss word and insult, and spending days to extend it to gross and nauseating war of words would never do anything good to any of these supposedly devoted viewers or fans. Instead, it would only rob them off the precious and incalculable hours that make use of to do several things that are useful and beneficial to them, as well as many other people around.
Among many examples of such senseless conversations that I have read during these years, here is one that I felt is the height of stupidity. Assuming that a celebrity had fallen in love with a co-contestant in a reality show that was aired last year, endless conversations on their ‘budding’ romance surfaced on various social media platforms. While some of the fans showered their unconditional love, blessings, and support on the pair and painstakingly coined a linguistic blend with the name of both the stars , some others rained inexcusable abuses on them for their endless PDAs that ‘un-Indian’ behaviour on national television. Much to the shock of the devoted fans and their bitchy counterparts, the couple came out in public after the show and stated that there was no love in the air. While their fans went ahead and continued their rants on the reasons behind the spit, their foes kept sniffing for possibilities of the impending hook-ups of both the stars. As the lovers and haters continued sharing their tirades and judgements, the reality stars kept riding high on their new-found fame, minting more and more money each day, while their fans and foes continued wasting days and weeks together to keep up with their conversations to support/dis the stars, gaining nothing.
Anecdote - In the effort to tweet endlessly and verbally demolish a reality star on Twitter, won’t it be wise to make use of that time to read a blog on health or post some messages on a more important and genuine topic? Don't get me wrong. I am not a hypocrite, and admit having watched a handful of episodes of reality shows. However, what I really disagree with is spending our priceless days on futile discussions about those shit loads of scripted drama. Shouldn't we doing something better?
Put yourself in their shoes
I was reading an online newspaper the other day, and came upon the tear-jerking news story about the suicide of a teen transgender. The news report had the heart-wrenching suicide note that ‘she’ had left on ‘her’ social media page. The 1000+ words post gave a vivid account of ‘her’ prolonged battle with all those who relentlessly kept denying ‘her’ gender identity, due to fear of societal backlash. ‘Her’ suicide note ends with the hope that her story would help ‘fix society’ someday.
Our bigoted world thus lost yet another talented teenager who desperately wanted to live a dignified life like any other normal human being. But the world around has robbed her off the happiness and peace ‘she’ wished for, thus making ‘her’ take a sudden and drastic step in the hope to find peace in heaven, far away from the prejudiced world that kept mocking at ‘her’ gender transition each day. Although I couldn’t fathom ‘her’ pain and anguish, ‘her’ story was thought-provoking, as it unveiled the intense pain of being trapped to live with a wrong identity and persona. It also made me think about the sadness, hopelessness, and desperation of many others transgenders who continue to hope for a day when their community gets the deserved freedom, respect and equality. The more I tried to shake away my thoughts about their plight, the more they kept bumping on to me, and I was soon engrossed in an stream of thoughts about the predicaments of transgenders who struggle to live a normal life each day, in our supposedly progressive world.
While there are no statistical backing to support this statement, I can undoubtedly say that the increasing number of suicides of transgender people indicate the horrifying narrow-mindedness of our society. Every time I happen to read about the distressing stories of transgenders who continually face rejection discrimination, victimization, violence, and mockery from family, friends, and society, I cannot help but wonder why the world is so hell-bent on making the life of transgenders miserable and hellish. A society that cannot extent a hand of acceptance shouldn’t be keen on finding ways to marginalize transgenders, as they too deserve the same rights that we enjoy each day. Sadly, due to constant marginalization and vilification, most of them embrace death, in the hope to break free from the torments that they undergo each day.
Throughout my life, I've always treated transgenders with equal respect. No matter wherever I meet them, unlike those who leave no stones unturned to intimidate them with blatant stares and lewd comments, I have keenly maintained the warmth and normalcy that makes them feel at ease. This is because, I strongly believe that if knowing another person's life or perspective is beyond our limits, accepting them in the way they are is the best way to let them live their lives peacefully and dignifiedly. However, most of the times, the world around me hardly show the time and patience to respect the persona and feelings of transgenders.
When did we realize our gender? Can anyone of us recall whether it was a choice that we made, or it happened subconsciously? The process of gender recognition remains the same for all, but unlike us who can easily categorize ourselves, transgenders are unable to fully express themselves, or, find it hard to defy the societal norms for righting what has been described as wrong and sinful for ages. So, if we lack the ability to decipher the worry that they are into, let’s not freak out or make a big deal of it. Looking beyond the age-old man woman classification is a matter of shame to several people, but, I believe this is inevitable, as one can really understand a person only by climbing into his/her skin and walking around in it. Desolation and suicides of transgenders are real and serious subjects that require immediate action, but sadly they are often evaded as our dogmatic mind-sets fail to recognize the struggle of those who live the misery of getting entrapped in an identity that’s dynamically opposite to their entire self. As we continue our tightrope walk in the world of hatred, wars, communal riots, and deadly disease, we make living more difficult by failing to love and accept each other.
Trans, gay or straight, love and acceptance are what they yearn for, the reason why we have to look at the world around beyond the contours of traditional gender classifications.
Transgenders are not outcastes. They remain so for being trapped in bodies of the wrong gender. They are neither delusional nor psychotic. It’s just that their inside doesn't match the outside. Transgender people should be bestowed the same respect that we deserve. Their bodies are their own so are their mind and freedom to live with dignity and equality.
Considering the fact that they keep facing a sea of struggles from both within themselves and outside world, why not lessen their challenges by accepting them for the way they are?
Anecdote - How does it feel like getting trapped in a strange place? Or how would you respond if you were forced to dress in opposite-gender clothing and follow a variant behaviour throughout a week? It’s not just suffocating and terrifying, but might also trigger immeasurable rage and anguish, driving you to the verge of madness. If that’s what you might experience for those momentary transformations, can you fathom the anger and sadness of a soul that gets trapped in a wrong body throughout the entire life?
Our bigoted world thus lost yet another talented teenager who desperately wanted to live a dignified life like any other normal human being. But the world around has robbed her off the happiness and peace ‘she’ wished for, thus making ‘her’ take a sudden and drastic step in the hope to find peace in heaven, far away from the prejudiced world that kept mocking at ‘her’ gender transition each day. Although I couldn’t fathom ‘her’ pain and anguish, ‘her’ story was thought-provoking, as it unveiled the intense pain of being trapped to live with a wrong identity and persona. It also made me think about the sadness, hopelessness, and desperation of many others transgenders who continue to hope for a day when their community gets the deserved freedom, respect and equality. The more I tried to shake away my thoughts about their plight, the more they kept bumping on to me, and I was soon engrossed in an stream of thoughts about the predicaments of transgenders who struggle to live a normal life each day, in our supposedly progressive world.
While there are no statistical backing to support this statement, I can undoubtedly say that the increasing number of suicides of transgender people indicate the horrifying narrow-mindedness of our society. Every time I happen to read about the distressing stories of transgenders who continually face rejection discrimination, victimization, violence, and mockery from family, friends, and society, I cannot help but wonder why the world is so hell-bent on making the life of transgenders miserable and hellish. A society that cannot extent a hand of acceptance shouldn’t be keen on finding ways to marginalize transgenders, as they too deserve the same rights that we enjoy each day. Sadly, due to constant marginalization and vilification, most of them embrace death, in the hope to break free from the torments that they undergo each day.
Throughout my life, I've always treated transgenders with equal respect. No matter wherever I meet them, unlike those who leave no stones unturned to intimidate them with blatant stares and lewd comments, I have keenly maintained the warmth and normalcy that makes them feel at ease. This is because, I strongly believe that if knowing another person's life or perspective is beyond our limits, accepting them in the way they are is the best way to let them live their lives peacefully and dignifiedly. However, most of the times, the world around me hardly show the time and patience to respect the persona and feelings of transgenders.
When did we realize our gender? Can anyone of us recall whether it was a choice that we made, or it happened subconsciously? The process of gender recognition remains the same for all, but unlike us who can easily categorize ourselves, transgenders are unable to fully express themselves, or, find it hard to defy the societal norms for righting what has been described as wrong and sinful for ages. So, if we lack the ability to decipher the worry that they are into, let’s not freak out or make a big deal of it. Looking beyond the age-old man woman classification is a matter of shame to several people, but, I believe this is inevitable, as one can really understand a person only by climbing into his/her skin and walking around in it. Desolation and suicides of transgenders are real and serious subjects that require immediate action, but sadly they are often evaded as our dogmatic mind-sets fail to recognize the struggle of those who live the misery of getting entrapped in an identity that’s dynamically opposite to their entire self. As we continue our tightrope walk in the world of hatred, wars, communal riots, and deadly disease, we make living more difficult by failing to love and accept each other.
Trans, gay or straight, love and acceptance are what they yearn for, the reason why we have to look at the world around beyond the contours of traditional gender classifications.
Transgenders are not outcastes. They remain so for being trapped in bodies of the wrong gender. They are neither delusional nor psychotic. It’s just that their inside doesn't match the outside. Transgender people should be bestowed the same respect that we deserve. Their bodies are their own so are their mind and freedom to live with dignity and equality.
Considering the fact that they keep facing a sea of struggles from both within themselves and outside world, why not lessen their challenges by accepting them for the way they are?
Anecdote - How does it feel like getting trapped in a strange place? Or how would you respond if you were forced to dress in opposite-gender clothing and follow a variant behaviour throughout a week? It’s not just suffocating and terrifying, but might also trigger immeasurable rage and anguish, driving you to the verge of madness. If that’s what you might experience for those momentary transformations, can you fathom the anger and sadness of a soul that gets trapped in a wrong body throughout the entire life?
Who is a juvenile?
Juvenile and the benchmark of being juvenile has been a puzzling dilemma for me ever since the horrific Delhi gang rape on that most disastrous December 16th. While nothing less than capital punishment should be the equitable verdict for such brutalism, one of them managed to get away from it as juvenile. Others who were found guilty along with him were sentenced to capital punishment but he was given only three years imprisonment in a reformation institution. Definition of juvenile must not be counted on age. In olden days, time was the only way to master an art. With the advancement of technology, time is not the unit of measurement for mastering art. Accessibility to modern means like internet connections, unrestricted porn sites and gadgets which enable to have utmost privacy for the youth to surf, view and master the ugliest side of sex art make them masters at the pre-end of teen age. Technically, a juvenile is too young a person for understanding the sense and seriousness of the crime (act) as he is unaware of such an act. (an act as horrendous, brutal and torturous as rape). In this crime if media reports are to be believed, this supposedly ‘juvenile’ seems “the most brutal" among the six accused and convicted who took turns to rape and torture Nirbhaya and go to the extent of inhumanly torturing and humiliating the very womanhood in her with an iron road, leaving indefinable injuries which resulted in her death a fortnight later. While both the system and the world are well aware of the unfathomable intensity of the crime, I am yet to fathom the reasons behind the disparity in punishments given.
The yardstick of being called a juvenile is wholly dependent on the acts committed and definitely not the age. When I am writing this post, a prominent news channel is repeatedly telecasting the appalling story from a South Indian town where a 15 plus year old boy brutally raped and murdered a girl who is less than half his age. Here the laws of the country speak contrary. I find no reason to call the criminal a juvenile, when the crime committed is far from the contours of juvenility. Give the age and the mental makeup, no juvenile grows on physical and mental perspective to commit a sexual act. Hence, if a juvenile performs a sexual act whatsoever, technically he/she has to be categorized as an adult, and should be awarded the supreme punishment. The correction home where a juvenile offender enjoys his forced ‘vacation’ is no less than a breeding home where he gets morphed in to a more dangerous predator that no society can afford to accommodate. A juvenile committing a predetermined sexual violence should never get away with a mere lash on the wrist. Here is the reason: According to a recently published online article, about “50 percent of all sexual crimes in India are committed by teenagers. (who know they can get away with it.)” The advocates of juvenile justice keep affirming the need of punishments that brings in reform and rehabilitation, and is devoid of any vindictiveness or revenge. But as I read the medical reports that cite the mortal injuries inflicted on Nirbhaya, I cannot help but wonder why many still cry foul on against amending Juvenile Justice Laws.
Juvenile is called so based on the physical and mental state of being of a person. A juvenile delinquent is as sexually active as a perverted adult. He/she can no more be counted as a juvenile just on the age. I am not a legal professional nor am I aware of the legal intricacies. For lack of knowledge on the complex legal quandaries, I don’t think I can advocate on lowering the juvenile age limit, but as a commoner and strong follower of the judicial system of the country, I believe that a juvenile law applies only to the crimes that can be categorized as juvenile, whereas rape, murder, acid attack, robbery, kidnapping, and other criminal acts can never be included in it. When it comes to crimes so horrific and anti-social as rape and murder, rehabilitation is a faint possibility, but for the miracles like Reni Isaac. However, swift actions and appropriate punishments can definitely send a strong message across the society, thus making sexual offenders think twice before violating a woman’s freedom or trying to trespass her body. Hence punishment as a corrective measure should depend on the gravity of the crimes committed, it be by juvenile or adult.
The culpability of a juvenile is often taken as his immaturity. I wonder what on earth can make one come to the conclusion that all men on earth get matured by the age of 18. As adolescence can scientifically last until 20, It seems strange when the world around gets clung on to the age of 18 as the onset of adulthood. This brings in a curious question. If 18 years mark the onset of adulthood, and brings in all the characteristics of an adult male or female, what should technically be the age of a juvenile who does a fully-fledged sexual act on someone? 18 years? While these cruelties are hard-core actualities, the punishment for them varies for the less-than 18 and the 18+, just because of the age, the mere number, and not the mental makeup and the intensity of the act committed. Childhood and adulthood hardly rests upon the age, but the acts committed. Given the heinousness of crimes committed the under aged should be treated on par with the adults and should be given the same punishment, because juvenile is not the personification of utmost heinousness to commit a spine chilling cruelty.
The yardstick of being called a juvenile is wholly dependent on the acts committed and definitely not the age. When I am writing this post, a prominent news channel is repeatedly telecasting the appalling story from a South Indian town where a 15 plus year old boy brutally raped and murdered a girl who is less than half his age. Here the laws of the country speak contrary. I find no reason to call the criminal a juvenile, when the crime committed is far from the contours of juvenility. Give the age and the mental makeup, no juvenile grows on physical and mental perspective to commit a sexual act. Hence, if a juvenile performs a sexual act whatsoever, technically he/she has to be categorized as an adult, and should be awarded the supreme punishment. The correction home where a juvenile offender enjoys his forced ‘vacation’ is no less than a breeding home where he gets morphed in to a more dangerous predator that no society can afford to accommodate. A juvenile committing a predetermined sexual violence should never get away with a mere lash on the wrist. Here is the reason: According to a recently published online article, about “50 percent of all sexual crimes in India are committed by teenagers. (who know they can get away with it.)” The advocates of juvenile justice keep affirming the need of punishments that brings in reform and rehabilitation, and is devoid of any vindictiveness or revenge. But as I read the medical reports that cite the mortal injuries inflicted on Nirbhaya, I cannot help but wonder why many still cry foul on against amending Juvenile Justice Laws.
Juvenile is called so based on the physical and mental state of being of a person. A juvenile delinquent is as sexually active as a perverted adult. He/she can no more be counted as a juvenile just on the age. I am not a legal professional nor am I aware of the legal intricacies. For lack of knowledge on the complex legal quandaries, I don’t think I can advocate on lowering the juvenile age limit, but as a commoner and strong follower of the judicial system of the country, I believe that a juvenile law applies only to the crimes that can be categorized as juvenile, whereas rape, murder, acid attack, robbery, kidnapping, and other criminal acts can never be included in it. When it comes to crimes so horrific and anti-social as rape and murder, rehabilitation is a faint possibility, but for the miracles like Reni Isaac. However, swift actions and appropriate punishments can definitely send a strong message across the society, thus making sexual offenders think twice before violating a woman’s freedom or trying to trespass her body. Hence punishment as a corrective measure should depend on the gravity of the crimes committed, it be by juvenile or adult.
The culpability of a juvenile is often taken as his immaturity. I wonder what on earth can make one come to the conclusion that all men on earth get matured by the age of 18. As adolescence can scientifically last until 20, It seems strange when the world around gets clung on to the age of 18 as the onset of adulthood. This brings in a curious question. If 18 years mark the onset of adulthood, and brings in all the characteristics of an adult male or female, what should technically be the age of a juvenile who does a fully-fledged sexual act on someone? 18 years? While these cruelties are hard-core actualities, the punishment for them varies for the less-than 18 and the 18+, just because of the age, the mere number, and not the mental makeup and the intensity of the act committed. Childhood and adulthood hardly rests upon the age, but the acts committed. Given the heinousness of crimes committed the under aged should be treated on par with the adults and should be given the same punishment, because juvenile is not the personification of utmost heinousness to commit a spine chilling cruelty.
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