An issue of mind over matter

“Macron Marriages” – the strange phraseology in the article didn't surprise me at all. From public to media, everyone is obsessed with The President’s marriage, and not his works as a public servant. Endemic and mostly derisive posts and comments on the age gap between Emmanuel Macron and his wife are disgusting and nauseous to say the least. They've given me strong reasons to pen down my thoughts on how rampant ageism and sexism are, especially in societies like ours where older wives aren't as common as older husbands. In spite of claiming to be progressive, people continue to attack Mrs. Macron with sexist insults of all sorts. No, she doesn't deserve this. No one does. Yes, Mrs Macron is 24 years older than her husband, but why should a birth certificate get in the way of one’s happiness? Here comes the most ironic part – The age difference is almost the same as that of the U.S. president and his wife, but no one talks about it. That’s the typical double standard of our society.

Source - yahoo.com

If two people love each other and get married, that's their prerogative. Love is the most natural and purest emotion known to us. True love is powerful enough to transcend every hurdle, because “the heart wants what it wants”. Yet, love still fails to defy some longstanding societal notions based on gender, age, and so on. Age is the most ‘decisive’ one among them. Our prudish society is yet to accept the fact that romance can blossom even without being hindered by the so called ‘significant’ age gaps that pique people’s curiosity. When two consenting, respectful, and mature people are in a relationship, age doesn’t matter at all. Because, true love seeks physical, mental, emotional, and intellectual fulfillment, and it’s solely based on understanding and compatibility.

But when it comes to a misogynic society like ours, a man should be the protector and patriarch, and should be superior in all aspects. So, men are free to choose younger partners, and their jaw dropping age difference doesn’t surprise anyone. If age isn’t anything but a number why doesn’t it apply to women as well? Why does all hell break loose if an older woman is happy to settle down with a younger woman? Forget persuading the puritanical society, she never gets a nod of approval even from her kith and kin. She is tormented with endless ridiculous and unjustifiable wrath, and eventually gets ostracized for putting her love above the options and expectations of the society. Sadly, we have no dearth of conservative-minds that discourage relationships that fail to meet the preset standards of the society, and treat them as immoral and scandalous. Why can’t such relations be tenable and possible?

Regardless of age, no relationship comes with a guarantee. All relationships have their share of hurdles, and takes fair share of time, effort, understanding, and patience. Hence, it’s high time to relinquish the anachronistic notions about gender and marriage. We should start reassessing what makes a couple comfortable and compatible, and appreciate relationships from beyond the walls of archaic traditions rooted in patriarchy. Marriage and choice of partner is one’s personal preference.  Everyone is free to live the life they choose. Hence we must be willing to accept each others' choices and not entwine them in the frivolous complexities of age, traditions and patriarchy. Simply put, can’t we let love and happiness exist the way they are?

Impact entrepreneurship – Balancing profit and mission

India is abundant in human capital and talented minds, and of late, there is no dearth of entrepreneurs in the country. But entrepreneurship isn’t just about making profit.  It’s about building businesses that make a difference in the world. In other words, its problem solving and making money by taking the roads less (or never) travelled. Businesses that solve problems and thereby impact and influence the lives of people grow exponentially in the shortest time span. When such businesses work wonders, the world grows and transforms right before our eyes. Impact entrepreneurs (coined by Adam Levene) at the helm of such initiatives help tackle some of the toughest challenges of our time. Simply put, they never sell, instead, they solve problems.  Sandith Thandasherry is one such impact entrepreneur who came up with an innovative and futuristic solution for inland water transportation. An IIM-Madras graduate and founder of NavAlt Solar and Electric Boats, Sandith is the man behind India’s first solar-powered boat, Aditya.

Source - www.motivateme.in

Aditya, operating between Vaikkom and Thavanakkadavu, is propelled by electric motors that are powered by a 50kWh Lithium battery pack. The boat carries about 1500 passengers every day. Aditya takes 22 trips each day, travels at an average speed of 6knots, and covers about 55km from 7.00 am to 7.pm.  Each trip involves a 13-15km journey, and the daily energy cost is just Rs. 163. Do a bit of math and the result will surprise you – In a year, Aditya saves about 35,000 liters of diesel and 22 lakhs in energy costs, along with preventing the emission of 94 tonnes of CO2. Isn’t that an amazing achievement, given the growing environmental problems that we face each day? Solar ferries like Aditya can put an end to the rising pollution menace; reduce energy consumption, noise, vibrations, and so on by leveraging the benefits of a whole host of futuristic technologies in boat manufacturing. Aditya, a catamaran, is ergonomically-designed with comfortable cushioned seats, and contain a music system and television. An exhaustive analysis of the TCO (Total Cost of Ownership) indicates that solar ferries like Aditya are way more advantageous than both conventional and modern diesel ferries. Furthermore, unlike diesel ferries that cannot withstand passenger overload, catamarans like Aditya ensure better and reliable margin of stability when it comes to handling passenger overload. 

Despite having navigable waterways, inland water navigation in Kerala has always remained neglected or underutilized. Sandith managed to turn things around with Aditya, a 75-pax solar ferry. Why solar boats? Solar powered boats are the most feasible ways to leverage our waterways and improve connectivity. When compared to conventional and modern diesel ferries, solar ferries ensure better safety, comfort, and pleasure. They are cleaner, viable, comfortable, and eco-friendly and the operational costs are surprisingly reasonable. Entrepreneurs like Sandith can thus devise both problem-solving and problem-preventing solutions at the same time, and turn disruptive ideas into world-changing business ventures. They are unconventional, creative thinkers who approach problems without getting affected by prevalent constraints and stigmas. Moreover, they are calculated risk takers who can balance risk, opportunity, innovation, and business acumen to provide optimal, futuristic, and sustainable solutions.  We need more such impact entrepreneurs who can elevate themselves above the current and future problems and discern opportunities from every obstacle or challenge that we face daily.

Go-Jek to take a big leap forward

Of late I’ve been trying to learn about ride-hailing companies and global ride hailing market in detail. A recent online article which I read had an interesting information on an Indonesian ride-hailing firm, Go-Jek, one of the most promising startups in Southeast Asia. Google, Temasek, and Meituan-Dianping are gearing up to invest in Go-Jek, and this might skyrocket its value to a whopping $3 billion. KKR and Co LP and Warburg Pincus LLC, its existing investors, too might join the new funding round.

For those who haven’t heard about Go-Jek yet, here is what I learned about the ride-hailing startup. Founded by Nadiem Makarim in 2010, Go-Jek is a leading provider of on-demand transportation, food delivery, logistics, and mobile payment services in Indonesia. It was founded with the aim of bettering the lives of underemployed motorcycle taxi and cab drivers, by providing a whole new set of opportunities in the form of transportation and food delivery orders. Go-Jek, which began as a bike taxi company, currently has over 200,000 drivers across 25 cities in Indonesia. Why bike taxis? They are highly effective in most of the busy and congested streets in Indonesia. Over the years, Go-Jek has grown by leaps and bounds, expanding their business and advancing into car-hailing and several other areas like grocery and meals delivery services. GoCar, its car-hailing service, is similar to Uber and Singapore-based Grab. The Go-Jek app was launched in 2015. The app has till now amassed about 10 million downloads, with a user rating of 4.3 on Google Play Store. It is quite admirable (Uber enjoys a 4.2 rating and so does Lyft, whereas the rating of Grab is 4.5.).

In addition to its commendable presence in the home market, Go-Jek has a strong development team in India as well. The company acquired C42 Engineering and CodeIgnition in 2016. Go-Jek has bettered the lives of almost a million bike taxi and cab drivers, and empowered as many as 100, 000 restaurant partners and many other small and medium businesses across Indonesia.  Isn't that a praiseworthy achievement, given the intensifying market competition and increasing customer expectations? Recently, Go-Jek acquired three financial technology businesses Kartuku, Midtrans, and Mapan, thus foraying into digital payment services, aiming to become a major player in Indonesia’s payment sector. Go-Jek may soon expand their business with overseas operations, boost rider and driver subsidies, and develop their digital payment business.  The new magnanimous funding will undoubtedly give Go-Jek an upper hand while facing market competition from deep-pocketed competitors.

Southeast Asia’s largest internet economy, Indonesia alone is home to nearly 261 million people. Yet, the current Uber CEO said in a statement that Southeast Asia is unprofitable (as per a TechCrunch article). I can't figure out the rationale behind his words, given that Southeast Asia has more than 600 million customer currently.  It sounds like a defensive effort to conceal Uber's inability to keep up its foothold in Southeast Asian market. Growth of ride hailing industry in the region is expected to hit $20.1 billion per year by 2025, says a report co-authored by Google. Will Go-Jek become the next Uber or Grab, or surpass them all in growth, profitability and customer satisfaction? Have to wait and watch.

What no one tells you about losing weight

Stop having dinner, cut down on fat, you can skip meals if you are not hungry, workout as much as possible, eat protein supplements– I was told all these and more when I started my weight loss journey a few months back. Back then, I weighed a whopping 75 kilos. I was morbidly overweight and wanted to do all that it takes to lose the excess weight. I was surrounded by body shamers, I was embarrassed beyond words, and my self esteem was at an all time low. Weight loss, career, or life, a bad approach yields bad results, and I didn’t want to end up in tears or frustrated about not being able to shed the extra pounds. But self-confessed diet experts around me kept recommending all the misinformed and counterproductive ideas that have been repeatedly proven wrong.  They kept tossing around those unscientific plans incessantly, and I knew that I had to figure out one on my own to deal with my weight gain woes. Let me share some of the insights that I’ve picked up.

At the outset, you needn’t drastically change your lifestyle or eating habits to lose weight. Let things happen in a natural progression and you'll get the needed results in no time. Excess weight is the end result of bad eating habits and sedentary lifestyle. It also depends on age, hormone changes, health problems, daily activities, stress, food preferences, and so on. Starting off by getting the facts right and change or fix what’s wrong, in a slow and steady pace. Let me also remind you that you needn’t shell out lots of money on gym memberships. Yes, you don’t need to slave away for long hours in the gym to lose weight. 45-60 minutes of brisk walk in the morning and evening is more than sufficient if you can stick to it diligently. Does walking alone help get fit and toned? No! You have to eat right, eat well, eat on time, drink ample amount of water, and say no to all junk food.


My first step was to deal with my stress eating disorder, and I have curbed it to a significant extent. I never used to hesitate mindlessly loading myself up on coffee and junk food or munching on chocolates when I used to get stressed and upset. I’ve changed it over the past few months and I am extremely happy about the results. Believe it or not, the whopping amounts of junk food I’ve gobbled over the years are not as tasty and enjoyable as what I currently enjoy having each day. That said; if you intent to completely cut out the bad food one fine morning, you shouldn’t. I’ve been there myself, and the impact is extremely dangerous, because, it can lead to uncontrollable cravings, and you will end up binge eating and falling off the track soon. One-size-fits-all diet plans too can rain on your parade, because, what’s right for me might not be right for you. Most of us battle food allergies, intolerances, and so on, the reason why a professional help from an expert dietician is indispensible to figure out a diet strategy based on your body and nutritional needs. Wrong diet plans can leave you unwell, weak, and perennially tired.

Here is another lesson that I have learned the hard way: never fall for any of those gimmicks that you read online; or pop pills and consume supplements with potentially dangerous side effects. Instead, go to a trained professional and seek and follow recommendations that are best for you. My friend Deepa George did a phenomenal job to help me decide my diet plan. In short, I didn’t adopt a caveman diet nor did I compel myself to avoid the indispensable morning and evening tea or breakfast. But I managed to shed 6 kilos in the first month and I continue to adhere to my chosen routine. Let me concisely put down what I’ve learned within this short yet significant time span - Always be realistic and realize that weight loss doesn't happen overnight, and no one can adopt that perfect eating habit to lose weight “in the blink of an eye”. Instead, you can make gradual alterations in what, how and when you eat, and stick to what you opt. Work smart and success will be yours.

#uberUNDALLO: Why I prefer Uber over autos and local taxis

Being a Kochiite since 2008, I’ve traveled to most parts of the city, and here are two mounting problems that I’ve faced everywhere – choking traffic and errant auto and cab drivers.  Traffic menace keeps getting worse each day and so are the number of rude and indecent auto and taxi drivers who rip-off passengers by demanding jaw-dropping rates.

You will get caught up in traffic jams at every signal in every 5 minutes during peak hours of traffic.  Police officials are deployed at most key locations in the city to speed up traffic; yet, you might get stuck on the roads for hours together due to unmanageable traffic blocks that have exacerbated considerably with the ongoing Kochi Metro construction. 

Depend on auto or taxi services and you’re in for endless troubles. Let me narrate one among the bitter experiences I've had – It was a usual Monday morning and I was on my way to office, unaware about an abrupt auto strike. I flagged an auto and headed to my office. The vehicle had hardly moved a few yards ahead and it was surrounded by a group of uncouth and belligerent auto drivers who shouted at me and the driver and threatened to beat him up. I was unwell and told them that I won’t be able to walk in the hot sun, but my requests fell on deaf ears. I was forced to move out of the vehicle, had to pay the fare, put up with the rudeness, and walk all the way to my office.  Here comes the most ironical part – A police man watching my ordeal from a nearby traffic signal and never came forward to help me. 

Most of the auto and cab drivers enjoy unfettered reign in the city, and keep fleecing the public by charging exorbitant rates. Some even ply without permits and yet get off scot-free. They flout traffic rules, never ply on meters, refuse destinations, and decide rates as per their whims and fancies. You can hardly see an auto with a properly functioning fare meter. They are either dysfunctional or fully tampered. The only safest and reasonable mode of transportation is Uber. While they don’t help deal with the city traffic snarls, ride-hailing services like Uber offer innumerable advantages that are hard to ignore.

I have been an Uber rider since they first launched their services in Kochi. Safety, reasonable fares, and upfront pricing before I hope in (no haggling or arguments at the end of a ride) are the most important reasons why I choose Uber over other modes of transportation. They help hail taxis from anywhere, anytime. I don’t have to wait for hours and keep flailing my arm for a taxi or auto. Instead, I can book a taxi at the tap of a button and get nice, GPS-monitored rides in swanky cars, and the app shares every bit of detail about the chosen route and the driver. It also helps share my trip status with my parents back in my hometown. 

As someone who travels alone on most days, my safety is my utmost priority. Believe it or not, Uber taxis are secure, even while travelling in unfamiliar surroundings, highly cost-effective (much lesser than autos and conventional taxis), and utmost convenient all the time. Their online payment options are immensely advantageous and so are the carpooling services, a real game-changer that enables comfortable rides at competitive rates. Uber carpooling helps share rides and split the costs with three others who requests rides along similar routes. No wonder why they enjoy an enviable 5 to 10% week-on-week growth, with about 3.5 lakh customers per month. With exciting discount offers that I get to enjoy practically every week, why would I bother to choose any other mode of transport or put up with the tantrums of impolite and greedy drivers?

But of late, Uber cab drivers in Kochi are getting waylaid, abused, and assaulted by unruly auto and cab drivers every other day. The situation is alarming and might likely worsen in the coming days if no stringent actions are taken against the offenders. This growing ire is absolutely unjustifiable. Online cab aggregators like Uber thrive by leaps and bounds because they promise safe, time-bound, and impeccable service without burning a hole in a rider’s wallet. And in a democratic country like ours, everyone has the right to work hard and enjoy a slice of the pie.

Unruliness and greediness are the sole reasons why conventional taxi and auto drivers face a major drop in their revenues. Hooliganism and vandalism will not help anyone find their footing in today’s fast-paced and competitive transportation market. And the ongoing apathy of the authorities will only drive forward-thinking global ride hailing companies away from the state. Strong and sustainable measures are the need of the hour to protect online cab aggregators from the thugs among auto drivers and local cabbies. It’s the only effective way to stop all the ongoing organized assaults and abuses long before they intensify and spiral out of control.

The visible god

I couldn't hold back my tears while reading it. It was a heart wrenching news report on how a young professor allegedly pushed his mother to death because he was "fed up" with her illness. What has the world come to? Why are parents abused, disowned, or killed by their own children (Unless you've been living under a rock, you might have heard of Thalaikoothal or senicide).

"God cannot be everywhere, so he created mothers". Aren’t these words true beyond doubt? Hell yes they are! But humans are the most insane species, they worship the invisible God and abuse or kill the visible. Mother is symbolic to god, universe, happiness and a lot more. Since the day you took root in her womb to the day you opened your eyes to the world, and forever, the only person who continues to shower all the love and affection in her heart is your mother.  Can anyone else do what she does for you? Absolutely not! A mother is the only person who can love and accept you unconditionally. Her love is deep, pure, and genuine. It will remain unchanged forever.  She is patient beyond words and loving beyond measure. She is the only person you can turn yourselves to, at any age and in any situation, and look for boundless love.

Mother is a god’s greatest gift to us. I’ve disagreed with my mom several times, I have argued with her on several occasions, and have questioned her choices many times. But, age and experience brought the realization moms are always right, and the sooner you accept it, the better off you will be. Many a times I was too preoccupied with frivolous and momentary joys when she needed me the most. I feel regret and guilt over all those irresponsible steps. I’m at the fag-end of my thirties but there is one place where I can be a child again, and that’s in front of my mom. I am sure everyone else in this world too feels the same.  My mom means the world to me and not a day goes by that we don’t text or talk to each other. From predicting my exact emotional state of mind to lending me a shoulder to lean on when I need, my mom always makes me believe that the world is still a good place. She is the only person I can pour my heart out to. She has that magical power to turn things around and make me smile even on those worst days.

How can some people heartlessly abandon their mothers, most selfless and loving people on earth, while continuing to lavish love on the rest of the world? How can one commit parricide or matricide? Not a day goes by without hearing bloodcurdling stories of elderly citizens getting abused, mistreated and left to starve, or killed. Why are they considered as marauders of those whom they’ve cared nurtured throughout their lives? From abandoning them in old age homes to committing gruesome acts that put all of humanity to shame, people are simply failing to realize the value and worth of parents.

I’ve been to many old age homes for women and the sordid tales of most inmates are absolutely tear-jerking.  How can one hardheartedly shun and abandon parents to live and die lonely? Despite dealing with all the odds and hardships to bring their children up, most of them are left alone at the dusk of their lives. Why? Because, their children believe their lives get difficult if their parents continue to live with them. I just cannot fathom the reason behind this barbaric thinking. Here is the ironical part – Most of might have prayed to be blessed with children and at their twilight years they’re facing abandonment and loneliness. Let’s remind ourselves that humanity, sensitivity, and emotions are dying the most pitiful death while the world sprints forward to attain more material and momentary pleasures.

Awkwardly candid

A face-to-face conversation is the best way to know a candidate before a decision is made. It helps hiring managers find candidates who excel and stand out, while weeding out the unfit. While it’s justifiable to get a little candid, friendly, and informal to put the candidate at ease, it’s absolutely necessary to draw a borderline and weigh the words carefully. A thoughtless word or the slightest wrong impression will drive a potential candidate away in no time.  Now let me divulge the actual reason behind this rather ambiguous introduction.

With my hopes set high, I attended a job interview last week, but was taken aback when told that “work matters” are mostly discussed outside of normal work hours. Yes, most of us are forced to work crazy hours to pay the bills. But being adamant and insisting obstinately on odd timings at the very first phase of an interview is rudeness and harassment. Soon came the next startling precondition - Upon selected for the position, I will have to relocate to a “suitable” place where I am free to reach late in the night, as late as 12 or 1 AM on most days. That conveyed a very alarming message. More intimidation followed when I was told that employees who ask about work timings will be fired without any reason or notice. Everyone else is staying late, does that mean I should too?  I don't mind going that extra mile and doing those extra works when situations demand. But, why should it be made a day-to-day requisite, despite the fact that commuting alone from an office located at the fag-end of a narrow lane in a hidden corner of the city is far from easy and highly unsafe?

Escalating my scare further, the interviewer narrated how the leading executive of a top agency sleazily told subordinates that it’s absolutely normal to sleep one’s way up the ladder, while reiterating that it will never happen in the firm I visited.  My heart sank and I felt sick to my stomach. The last straw was the inelegant confession that all the employees are free to go beyond protocols and get drunk at official events and parties.

While the rest of the conversation was very engaging and informative, these awkwardly blunt statements left me completely uncomfortable, stressed, and perplexed. I felt uneasy and petrified. Though I am really in need of job, this discomfiting interview session has left me on the fence as to whether I go ahead or go back.

Being cheeky or loudmouthed is acceptable when you are amid friends or family members. But it’s improper and unprofessional while conversing with a candidate. It’s obnoxious and absolutely intrusive. I am well aware that job seekers must be prepared to face that odd ball or strange question that might come into during an interview. However, these seemingly harmless comments are still disturbing me and leaving dents on my hopes. Chances are that the comments could have been random and innocuous. But isn’t that odd to hear them from a stranger? Or, am I thinking too much about the whole incident?

Are you happy?

“Are you happy?,” the question is simple and straightforward, but hardly anyone answers it with a simple and confident “Yes”. Instead they think through a list of what’s happening now, what looms ahead, and what their expectations are, dissecting everything in detail, only to come up with this reply - “Sort of.” Why does this happen? We always do our best to be positive and not get encumbered by the hurdles that life throws at us from time to time. Yet, why do we reply with a frustrating and lethargic ‘blah’ feeling, mostly for no reason?  Why are some of us never contented with what’s in hand, and why do we cry over and grumble about what’s lacking?

It’s in fact easy to save oneself from this frustration and muster lots of motivation. Because, we have more control over your happiness than we think. Being realistic about hopes, dreams, and future is the most critical step towards being happy. On the other hand, the inability to be realistic is the key reason that fuels unhappiness in most people. Happiness is reality minus over expectations. It’s also about accepting the right perspectives and believes. Instead, we tailor the emotion of happiness based on over expectations, the attitude of the people we’ve met, and the experience we’ve had over the years. We stubbornly cling on to them and never give up. Everyone is guilty of making this mistake, I too am no different.

Happiness is a choice, and it’s totally up to us. We’re in charge of how we respond to people and situations. When looked at in the right way, most people or circumstances are all neutral in life. But we fine-tune ourselves to categorize and label them based on our beliefs, perspectives, and expectations. This is where we go wrong. We can choose to be realistic and optimistic or miserable and negative. Choice conditions mind, thoughts, and beliefs. It in turn affects the way we look at people, situations, and circumstances in life.

That said; do complex situation influence our happiness? Of course, they might, but fleetingly. Hence, never label them as negative and exasperating.  Instead, take a step back and spin them into your advantage. This can also help nurture empathy and compassion by attaining the realization that views and reactions of people around are solely based on their restricted beliefs, thoughts, and circumstances. In short, this simple lesson will help avoid getting upset in life or offending anyone.  Because happiness is all about making the right choices; and it is inversely propositional to expectations.