You

I wanted love; you wanted lust.

I wanted a companion; you wanted a puppet.

I wanted a friend; you wanted a stoic who danced to your tunes.

I looked for commitment; you looked for momentary pleasure.

I accepted you for who you are, but you belittled me for who I am.

I wish I knew before I let you in my life.

You hurt every part of my body until I bled.

You hurt every part of my mind until it became numb.

No matter what I did for you, you were never happy.

You were ungrateful and unloving.

You never cared for me, while I cared for you deeply.

You blamed me, abused me, hurt me, left me, and never looked back.

Someday, karma will find you.

And I cannot wait to see what it does.

It's not a joke.

During an award night, a well-known stand-up comic made a joke about an actress, and her husband slapped him in the face on stage, stunning viewers across the world. Initially, I thought of it as part of a rehearsed act. Soon I realized it was not. It's been more than a week since the incident happened, but we continue to discuss it online and offline.

I will not get into the physical altercation part. Every form of violence is deadly and should never be encouraged or justified. What I keep thinking about is the crass joke the comic made. It was a bad joke and a cruel one too. 

He made a joke about the medical condition of the actress, and making a joke about someone's illness is not okay. That's not humor, and that's is not funny at all. People should stop relishing the negative publicity they get from such detestable acts. They should refrain from making deliberate derogatory statements masqueraded as humor. 

I cannot laugh off everything some stand-up comics say, not because I have an aversion to comedy, I cannot accept that it is okay for them to crack jokes that cross the line of acceptability. 

Why do they forget that jokes that hurt people do not make them cool? I think no one should make facetious remarks frivolously and get away with it. Still, it is disconcerting to see that many comics continue to write crude and offensive material and use them multiple times unashamedly.

I am not focusing on political correctness, censorship, or free speech here. My focus is on the psychological impact, especially in the post-pandemic world. Because depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses are rampant nowadays. 

Moreover, jokes that go beyond the line of appropriateness have created an environment where such crass content becomes normal and acceptable. An example is rape jokes. They're neither normal nor acceptable, yet I have heard people giggling when they hear such jokes. What are we guilty of by doing that? We give comics the validation and audacity that it is okay to deliver insensitive jokes unnervingly.

Such jokes also change how people understand societal norms and the implicit rules of acceptable conduct. Acceptable is a subjective term, I agree. What is acceptable for me may not be acceptable for you, and vice-versa. But it does not give anyone of us the right to crack jokes at the expense of another person's beliefs, habits, pain, or suffering. They hurt badly and leave many damaging impacts.

Comics should work harder on their content creation skills rather than clinging to crass and insensitive content to make the audience laugh. And whenever we call them out for being insulting, they should find a better answer every time and not blurt out the same boilerplate statement: "I was only joking."

No, not everyone can do that.

"What is content writing? Do you get paid well for writing website and social media content?" These are some of the questions I had to answer every other day when I started my content writing career in 2008. Those questions have now become a thing of the past. I get a different set of questions nowadays: "Content writing, isn't that easy? All you have to do is copy and paste the required content from another website, or copy it, tweak a little, and make it yours, right?." Yes, the questions are different, so are the snarky comments: "You write content for a living? Even I could do that!" 

But contrary to popular belief, content writing is not everyone's cup of tea. Original, simple, attractive, engaging, should be keyword-rich, should match the requirement and tone of the company or brand -- content writers are responsible for fulfilling all these requirements and more in every project. From brainstorming to putting thoughts in order, finding the right words, rhythm, and style, and avoiding grammar errors, overused words, and phrases, content writing is a long and hurdle-filled journey we take every day, with tight deadlines.

To be a good content writer, we have to understand the company or brand, the target audience, the current SEO practices, the basics of organic search metrics, and more. We have to make sure that the content draws visitors, provides accurate information, answers the commonly asked questions, creates interest, and encourages people to buy the products or services offered. 

In addition to the general rules and guidelines, every company or brand has its style guide we have to adhere to while writing and editing content.

We should be good at both short and long forms of writing. We should learn how to use the correct words and sentence structure. We also should be good at adding playfulness and fun in the right instances without overdoing it. 

The list is pretty long and keeps increasing every day.

So, if you hear someone saying, “Content writing? Even I could do that,” please tell them it is not entirely true.

Dear employer

I love the job I have.

I love the opportunity you have given me.

I work hard every day and every minute.

But you fail to see what I do.

Instead, you look at what I can't.

Then you drag me down with your anger. 

You want me to do it all.

And say Yes every time and all the time.

But I can't do it all on my own.

Want to know why?

I am not perfect.

But I am real; I am honest. 

And that's what you fail to see.

So I bear the brunt of your mockery and scorn.

And I consume the fruit of your unreasonable anger.

They burn me from within.

But I never complain.

I get hurt and sore.

I cry my eyes out.

And wonder what went wrong. 

Then I realize I am amidst a war.

Your over-expectations are at war with my reality.

Why am I not standing up for myself?

You don't let me convey my pain and sadness.

You don't let me say my side of the story. 

Because you always want things your way.

I am good at what I do.

So I work hard every day.

Hoping you will see what I do.

And stop looking at what I can't. 

No one can do it all on their own.

I hope you will realize that someday soon.

I know I have bills to pay and a family to feed.

So I never utter a word.

I engulf the pain and frustration every time. 

I let them burn me and rip me up.

Then I rise up with my scars.

I get ready to get burnt again.

Sincerely,

Your employee

They may look the same, but they are very different.

Content writing and copywriting are close enough, but they are not the same. Every time I get a copywriting opportunity, I have to explain this in detail to the hiring manager. Can I do both? Of course, I can because I have a flair for words. But I prefer content writing because that's what I've been doing since 2008, and that's what I enjoy doing. Based on my knowledge and experience, let me explain why they are different. 

The purpose is the main difference. As a copywriter, you can use your copy to influence your audience and ensure leads and sales. As a content writer, you can use your content to inform, instruct, educate, and entertain your audience. You can use content writing to create engagement and brand loyalty, and you can use your clean, concise, and engaging copy for exciting product descriptions, compelling calls to action, and attractive promotional offers.

I agree that more brand loyalty and engagement may help you increase conversions and sales. But copywriting is where you write advertorial content to persuade readers to take actions related to a business's sales process, including eliciting a direct response or driving conversions and sales. In other words, both go hand in hand, but they are different.

Let's look at content marketing. A content writer creates content, and a content marketer's responsibility includes planning, creating, publishing, and promoting content that attracts prospects and converts onto customers. They create KPIs that measure content success and calculate ROI. In other words, when I write content, I execute a content marketing idea. As a content writer, I help drive organic traffic, and a copywriter can turn that traffic into leads. 

Then who are content strategists? Strategists define:

what/how the content should be,

the priority audience

the goals

the purpose, 

the vision, and 

the direction.

Strategists also make plans to ensure the long-term value of the content.

Let me conclude - not all forms of content creation are the same. Organizations and hiring managers should learn the nuances that distinguish each form of writing. Don't you think so?

The most awkward interview question

What is the most awkward question you have to answer during a job interview? I will tell you about the question I am uncomfortable answering:  “What is your expected salary?” I always push this conversation until the last phase of every interview until I have shown my skills, worth, and accomplishments. I always answer honestly, based on my skills and the value I would bring to the role. Still, it makes me uncomfortable. Because if things go sideways, it will cost me a good job offer.

I will tell you why the question is awkward and how I reply if I have to answer this question. Before that, let me explain why the question is awkward and tricky.

If I lowball the figure to get a job, I will leave well-deserved cash on the table. If I give a high number, the employer will not consider me. 

Even if I learn all the market and salary trends, the employer will have a budget in mind, and hence, all my research findings will be of no use because I will get the job only if my expectation aligns with the budget set for the position. If I try giving a salary range, most employers insist I give a definite answer. So, that option also goes out of the window.

Why do I have to answer the question? If the employer intends to find out if I know my worth well, it is a lose-lose situation - I know my worth, but what good does that do to the employer or me if there is a budget already set for the position? And if the effort is to gauge my professionalism, I believe there are better ways of doing it than asking about the expected salary. 

So, I kept thinking about the possible ways to reply without hurting my chances of landing the right job. I found a reply. Do you know what it is? Just flip the question! I subtly turn the question around and ask the employer about the salary range set for the position. I reply politely and deftly and let the employer divulge the salary range. This method may not work in all instances - it is not a sure-shot way. For me, it works in most instances, and when it does, I always thank the employer for disclosing the salary range. And if the budget is is a little less than my expectation, I evaluate all the non-salary benefits before arriving at a decision. 

I will tell you about the non-salary benefits I look at while considering a job offer. They include a healthy working ambiance, career progression, job security, flexibility, insurance, and health and well-being programs. If the non-salary benefits are worth losing a little money from the CTC, the job opportunity is worth considering. Do you agree? 

Workplace cliques - What I know and how I do not let them affect me and my work

I know that teamwork is integral to the success of every organization. I understand the need for employees to get along. I also know that we tend to gravitate towards people who understand and appreciate us. It's not bad at all. So why am I against cliques or groups at workplaces? Some workplace cliques cause excessive togetherness and make those outside feel less important and worthy. These groups cause exclusivity because they are like secret societies, and having such groups at workplaces can be very toxic. 

Let me give you an example. I am a non-Tamilian living in Chennai. My first workplace in Chennai had many cliques - created by natives. During the initial days, I tried my best to connect with them. But I couldn't. I was always an "outsider" for them. I sat alone most of the time and tried hard to shrug off the negativity of being left out. I can speak Tamil, but not fluently, yet they didn't add me to any clique or make me feel welcomed.

Here is another negative impact of cliques - imagine you get invited for lunch, dinner, night out, or social activity by a group that dominates your workplace. If you politely say "No" due to a personal reason, the group will ignore, snub, exclude you more to ensure the incident affects your mental health and work well-being. 

Some clique members even make snarky remarks about you - they make fun of your attire, language, and even your food habits. I still get many of those. Some of them include my inability to speak certain words in Tamil, the use of coconut oil in my food, and my inability to backbite. 

If cliques or groups impact your work and self-esteem, you don't have to be a part of those groups to excel in your career. Trust me, I have survived more than a decade, and you too can. Keep your conversations at the workplace friendly yet professional, and that healthy barrier will keep you calm and positive all the time. If situations go out of hand, you can always approach your HR or manager, but I don't feel comfortable doing so. Hence, I keep my workplace conversations minimal and professional without giving others the leeway to sneak into my personal life or make me feel left out and excluded. I am better off without being part of cliques. 

After years of hard work, now I know how to live amidst workplace cliques. I don't expect people to include me in their groups now. Yes, I am not part of any workplace clique, and I am okay with it. It's hard but very much possible. When I see toxic groups at the workplace and hear them making snarky remarks about me - Mock me all you want. If my work speaks volumes about who I am, that's all I need. 

Sometimes you may not get what you want, and it is okay.

If you have ever had a dream job or company in mind, you are like me and many others out there who strive hard to work their way up the career ladder. A year ago, I stopped chasing the dream of a dream job. Instead, I kept my options open and learned to face rejections and failures head-on. I learned the hard way that failures and rejections in professional life are part of our journey, and I should not let them take over my life and mess with my mind. Let me tell you more about how I learned this lesson the hard way. 

Since I do not want to divulge anything about the dream organization I mentioned, I will call it Mojo. I have always wanted to work for Mojo. In 2016, I was at their swanky office in the suburbs. Mojo is a one-of-a-kind organization that offers groundbreaking technology solutions, has an enviable work culture, and helps its community join the mission to help the less fortunate out there. In other words, Mojo is the golden gate every ambitious person will look for to have a stellar career. I was no different. I stood at the doorstep for a while before leaving and hoped to return as an employee someday. 

Over the years, I kept applying for every position that matched my skill set, but I was always getting turned down or straight-up ignored. I prepared a lot, tried as hard as possible, but rejection reared its ugly head my way all the time. I always received that one sentence I dreaded seeing - “Unfortunately, we decided to move ahead with another candidate.” 

With every rejection, I started feeling more and more defeated. The negativity erupted like molten lava inside me and tanked my confidence. I kept thinking about what was wrong and what I could have done differently. I wallowed and seethed after very rejection, and then, after trying for years, now I have willed myself to move on.

Rejection letters and emails are almost impossible to accept. It was hard to shake off my pain and disappointment. I respect the decisions made by the company, and I understand that they felt somebody else was better suited for every job I applied for in the past.

So, instead of getting drowned in the rejection rut, here is what I did:

I stopped overthinking and overanalyzing the rejections, I stopped slicing and dicing what happened, and I stopped beating myself down or accusing myself. Well, it was not an easy step at all. It was time-consuming and intense, but I knew I had to do it all to rebound in a positive direction, and I did all that it took to land back on my feet and start moving forward. And when I began finding light at the end of the tunnel, it was easy to come to terms with and accept the rejections from Mojo. I was also able to focus on the other opportunities that came my way. 

When you overanalyze and get stuck in remorseful thoughts, you will get stuck there forever until you pick yourself and move forward. I learned it the hard way. It is okay to be sad about job rejection. Every day, many talented applicants face job rejections. And it is okay to give yourself the time to be upset. But here is what you must remember - Never let rejections engulf you. Get back up, talk yourself up, and most importantly, never get your heart set on a particular job or organization. If you keep your options open, you will more likely land a great job soon. Again, I learned this the hard way.