A long journey towards the worst

“I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma on June 23,” said a noted English actress recently in her blog. Another long journey, I thought. Yes, the long and worst journey that a person can ever have in life.

The deadliest of all the diseases that I have ever heard, I have seen quite a few cancer victims in my friends and family circle, and their extensive battle to beat the pain that the disease and the treatments give. The most tear jerking among them was the when dad’s mom was diagnosed with oral cancer. It was actually noted when we found a white patch (leukoplakia) in her mouth. She didn’t feel pain in the beginning and hence ignored the patch. But my dad understood that something was wrong and hence wanted her to meet the doctor soon. The doctor diagnosed her and confirmed my dad’s worst fears. That was the most horrible day in his life. I still remember how difficult it had been for him, to cope up with the fact that his mother is slowly moving towards death. We, mom, me and my sister, had absolutely no words to pacify him.

There started my grandma’s long battle, for almost one year and all that we could give her was just the painful chemotherapy. But she disagreed for it. She never wanted the painful chemo sessions and said a big blatant ‘NO’. We had to agree for it, and hence opted for a homeo treatment. The treatments took a tool on her making her wary day by day. Slowly she started having unbearable pain and the sore in her mouth started getting worst. Poor grandma, I still don’t know about the intensity of pain she has endured in those few months. During the final stages we had to give her high dose of medicines to alleviate the pain. Those stages were really heartrending and no one at home was in the state of mind to pacify each other.

My grandma died almost 6 to 8 months later.

Even though I had heard about similar cancer affected relatives from my mom’s side, grandma is the first (and wish to be the last) cancer patient that I had ever seen in life. Whenever I used to get in to her room, I always had a question in my mind, “Can god almighty be so cruel? Why did he give so much of pain to her?” I still think about it even now; but never get the reason why people get affected with diseases like cancer and suffer all the pains.

Wish someone had a magic potion to cure this disease!

It’s celebration time, but…

Onam celebration, yup the big wing-ding in our hostel is about to happen on the 19th. But the bash set in our name is completely meant for the committee members of our hostel, the ‘young’ chicks who are eager to cover up their graying hair and conceal their wrinkles, and party the whole day. They dance, sing and enjoy… while we , literally tongue tied, carrying a dim witted look, become their ‘wonderful’ viewers , watching ‘enjoying’ and appreciating the ‘ladies’. Hurrah! They shout and cheer, and we clap moronically for their doltish comedy programmes, freakish dance numbers and snobbish speeches. Clad in flamboyant saris and gaudy jewels our committee members literally turn out to be the real stars of the event, where as we, after the tiresome office works would hardly have any energy for changing ourselves to a chichi evening party girl. Most of us attend the function in the very same office wear and often truly vanishes in the undertow of style statements that the ‘real’ part girls create. The party is all theirs! They fix it, conduct it and enjoy it, but all in our name.