My weight gain woes

I was never ravenous , and have never been a glutton. But by last September I had put-on oodles of weight and was finding it really hard to cope up with my weight gain. I just couldn't! I desperately wanted to get back to shape, but definitely not due to the love for a zero sized figure, so don’t get me wrong. All that wanted was to get rid of the amount of extra fat deposits that I had gained. I knew I would have to work really hard, but I was not ready to give up, as my body had started showing me some really fearful warning signs that made me panic. But I didn't know where to start. To be frank, I used to stand in front of the mirror staring at the reflection & wondering what to do to slim-down. It looked like a really mammoth task.

I think god had almost determined that I should chuck out my laziness and start doing something to prevent myself from getting more ‘inflated. Shifting to a room on the third floor of our hostel was never pre-planned, but I had no other room to choose when I rejoined the hostel. I had to climb almost 60 steps twice everyday! The very first step to shed a few kilos!

Things took a sudden turn when I met the girl next to my room who agreed to help me. An absolute fitness freak, she told me cut-down a few things from my diet. Yes, I knew I will have to curb my hunger, but had no other option left. Dinner was never a must and rice was not at all an unavoidable part of my life. So I was totally fine about having wheat bread or chappathis at night, instead of rice. But the major part of my long term goal was to cut-down the amount of snacks that I used to have post-office hours, but I knew that won’t be really easy. After a tiring day at the office, savoring those lip-smacking snacks is the ‘me time’ which I call the best part of my day, and sacrificing that looked almost impossible to me. To be frank, I've not bid good bye to snacks, but have reduced it to a considerable amount, choosing wheat bread and sugarless biscuits. But at times I still turn out to be like a teary eyed school girl, watching those doughnuts and pastries in the bakery, and yet force myself buy the days ‘ration’, a packet of wheat bread, and rush from there without getting more tempted. It’s really hard doing all these, but has helped me become healthier looking than before.

It’s been almost three months since I had a heavy meal, and I know that I still crave for those paneer dishes, samosa chats, pastries, and many other things that I had liberally enjoyed for quite a long time. I do cheat myself a bit by having some of these once in a while, may be once in a month or so. But, I am happy that I've lost those really dirty fat deposits that used to scare me some time back. Still I have a long way to go!

Writer's block

You can call this a soliloquy, because, of-late, this is what I am going through, and let me confess to you all that this is an extremely difficult and shattering experience for a writer.

When I started writing blogs, I had umpteen great ideas in my mind, which made me super enthusiastic and excited about the posts that I would be writing soon. So, blogging was often an enjoyable experience, I've always had some really good posts on my blog, which were received and appreciated well by a lot of people. But nowadays I am feeling blank, totally blank that I don’t really have anything to write about, in spite of being in the middle of a lot of happenings. Calling this “bloggers block” would be just ridiculous I guess, because I used to be so passionate about my blogs that words used to literally crawl down from my fingers, shaping up an interesting blog in no time. Even now, I do write quite a lot for my official works, but when it comes to updating my personal blog, it doesn't happen easily. Added to this is the kind of culpable escapism that I am now addicted to, making me search for silly excuses for not updating my blog. So it doesn't mean I can’t write, it means that I can’t write about what I want to write.

Yesterday, I kept staring at my laptop screen for hours together wondering what I should write, and quite a few random topics popped up in to my mind, but in vain. They didn't trigger anything worth writing a catchy blog post, yet I tried wrote a few, but soon ended deleting them all as I didn't feel they were good enough. I strongly fear I am running out of ideas, and I really want to get out of this emptiness.

My foggy brain needs a complete transformation, which should happen very soon, in order to bring back the confident writer in me, who could energetically scribble about anything and everything possible. I really want to come of out of this murkiness where I am stumbling so badly. I want to assure myself that I can always be the passionate writer that I was, and get my creative juices flowing again. For that I’ll have to go ahead and continue writing on a regular basis, even if my mind, my imagination, or my muse doesn’t support me. I will have to promise myself not to bail-out and stop at any point of time, as I can never ever imagine coming back to this foggy state where I can’t literally write anything other than the couple of official assignments that I do.