Love is not a formality or an obligation

I have two friends in the city. One is married to her childhood sweetheart and the another one had a totally arranged marriage as per the rigid guidelines of her more than strict community. Both live in the city a stone throw away from my hostel, and I often meet them during weekends. Although nearing to their first anniversary, I’ve always noticed that they are poles apart in the way they handle their marital life, and this has always been through provoking for the sheer difference in thoughts of two young couples of almost the same age.

Having taken their relationship to the next level, the couple who ended up in to a successful love marriage, are always seen happier than ever, thus proving that they made the right choice even after coming from two entirely different backgrounds and religions. I don’t want to say that they are the power couple that anyone would idolize, as I have seen many instances where they start calling names and fight like street dogs. But those instantaneous fights are arguments never last even for an hour, and they get back to each other’s arms with more love and affection. The fights and arguments are often for reasons sillier than the usually silly ones, and to my surprise I have never seen them fighting for any kind of serious matters. I have never seen then indulging in PDAs or showering showy compliments at each other in public, but one can definitely understand their love for each other right from the way they are. Some of you may perhaps say that since they have known each other, they would obviously know how to be with. I do agree that knowing someone for quite a long time is a pretty good reason to get bonded well, but it will happen only through one’s intentional effort, for which one has to have an ego-less, open-minded, and loving attitude. So, the fact that they know each other is not just enough to live a pleasant life that everyone would dream about.

On the other hand, even the couple who had the completely arranged marriage are very much happy, but unlike the previous couple, I have never seen any kind of intense love equation among these folks. They are just so plain all the time, and look as if they are living a very timetabled and mechanical kind of life that someone else has charted for them. They hardly have time for each other, and are often in their own worlds, be it in the office or at home. Of course, they do love each other, but there’s a kind of numbness in their relationship which is very evident.

At first I just felt I am wrong in concluding things only based on what get to see, but there came many situations where they proved me right with their pretentiousness and lack of passion for each other. The mental and emotional make-up and bondage that a loving couple would have was hardly found between them, instead what remained was the very mechanically lived moments, just for the sake of it. I have never seen them living a day to the fullest, instead hardly see them together, unlike the previous couple who have frequent lunch outings, dinner dates, surprise parties, vacations plans, and many more things in their list, and yet live a responsible life.

Some people are blessed with everything, and yet a true bondage does not blossom and grow among them, whereas some others have umpteen differences and still are blissfully connected to each other with the strong vibes of love and passion. Don’t mistake me, as I am really not against arranged marriages. But having the seen the life of these two friends of mine, I keep wondering which one will help find unending and immensely passionate love that lasts a lifetime.

Some thoughts on life and death

A pretty lazy evening got soon shadowed by the saddening news of an accident that took place in one of the nearby churches where reconstruction works where going on in full swing. It was almost 6.30 in the evening, when a part of the church, located a few kilometers away from the city, fell down suddenly killing two and injuring almost 15 to 20 of the labourers. They were so badly trapped inside the debris for a couple of hours, until the rescue team managed to help them find their way out. The news was shocking and upsetting to the core that I didn’t even have the courage to watch the footages that were shown along with the news reports. It was just an accident and I am not sure if there’s anyone to blame, but what shocked me more was the place where it occurred. The mishap happened right before god almighty, right before the divine and sacred presence, and he couldn’t stop it from happening!

I keep thinking the same whenever I hear about mishaps that kill innocent people, for no reason of their own. Right from childhood, I’ve always been told that god repays everyone according to their deeds, the reason why some people suffer so badly, whereas some others live happily throughout their lives. If this is what’s called the universal law, I would really want to know the reason why the so called sinners live longer than some really good souls who leave us suddenly. I do understand that birth and death are not in our hands, but it just becomes too unjustifiable when innocent people get clutched by death for reasons that are no way related to them. It makes me feel so angry at god for being cruel to people those sincerely pray, worship. and love him with heart and soul. When a distant cousin succumbed to the mortal wounds from a train accident last month, I heard the elders from the family cursing his ‘fate’ for what has happened. Had it been due to a mistake from his end, I could have understood the reason behind god's decision , but it was just not his fault, and again I couldn’t stop but wonder why god almighty turned out so cruel to his family, and took away their dear son unexpectedly.

There was an accident last week which killed an entire family, including two kids, only due to the terrible haste of the truck driver who hastily rammed his vehicle in to the car in which the victims travelled. They died on the spot. I still wonder the reason why the entire family had to leave this world for no fault of their own, only because a stranger’s carelessness and haste. Is god a bit cruel at times?

It’s been a couple of years since I lost my grandmother, just 10 days ahead of her 50th wedding anniversary. We had big plans in mind and wanted to give her and grandpa a memorable day with everyone in the family. But things took a different turn when she feel ill abruptly one day, and had to be taken to hospital. She was almost fine while on her way to hospital, but within an hour dad called me and conveyed the sad news. It was so heartbreaking, and the pain turned out more excruciating when I saw my uncle telling the news to my grandfather. Throughout her entire life, she was so kind and compassionate to everyone, and never missed her prayers or visits to temple. Yet she lost her elder son, my uncle, due to a sudden cardiac failure, and the very next year she left us suddenly one fine day. Who is to blame here?