“Sorry, what’s your name?”

One among the long list of bad habits that I have is that I forget people’s names very soon, and often draw a very big blank, cutting a very sorry figure before others. I know it may not be a very big deal in today’s busy world, but it can turn out a bit embarrassing at times, when someone comes to me with a friendly smile and chitchats about umpteen stuffs, when I stand perplexed wondering who this person is where both met last. I don’t do it intentionally, but it happens again and again, no matter how hard I try. Last Sunday I was on my way back to the hostel, when I met one of my former students. He came to me and started talking nonstop about the school days, and I kept answering all his questions while racking my brain to remember his name. Seeing my confused expression, he said his name and the year in which I taught him. Let me confess that I felt really bad for not having remembered his name, as I had taught him for almost a year. It was more than awkward, and I had to say sorry to him before leaving.

I try my best to remember the name of all the people whom I meet, but at times they just vanish from mind with no specific reason. This happens repeatedly when I meet some of the new employees in my office, and for this reason I ask for apology in advance as I know very well that their names may remain inaccessible at times, especially when my head is loaded tons of other stuffs.  But when it comes to my ex-students, college mates and school mates, it’s a bit upsetting, especially when they come to me and express their happiness to meet me. At times, I even forget the names of my distant cousins too, the reason why I often skip family functions, for not being in the awkward situations where people come and ask me a lot of things, and I keep wondering who they are.

Though I am terrible with names, I am good in remembering faces, the reason why I feel really guilty when I ask people to repeat their name again and again. I know it’s my memory that has to be blamed, and I don’t have any other excuse to say. But, other than remembering the names of people, my memory is absolutely flawless by god’s grace, and I am really happy for it. But it’s just the names of people that I am terrible with. At times I have even forgotten the name of people within minutes after introduction.  So the next time I meet them, I make sure to put up a very tactful conversation to make them say their name first, because I know very well that recollecting their names would be practically impossible.

To be frank, so far, I haven’t put any purposeful effort to memorize the names of people, as I do have this strong belief that remembering names is a skill that would never come to me. I am really not so confident about that part of the otherwise incredibly potent memory, and have not yet worked to improve it.  Dad has always told me to tone it up, as he knows very well that sometimes people would fret knowing that I can’t remember their names even after being extremely close to them. But frankly speaking, I am really hopeless at it.

When it comes to remembering names, some people are really gifted, not how it happens with me, when names go in one ear and right out the other. It’s kind of really suicidal to pick the "hey"s or "you"s to call a person, but with no other options left, I do this most of the times, just because I can’t remember people’s names easily, no matter how hard I try. It’s just not my cup of tea!

When people fail to embrace natural beauty

Throughout the conversation, he was constantly complaining about her curly hair, and wanted her to get to do artificial hair straightening. So did he mean to say she looked ugly in curly hair? If so, I would never agree to this stupidest thought of one of my ex-colleagues who visited me the other day, along with his medium sized family which included his wife and three kids. I was really happy to meet them, but was a bit taken aback by the kind way he commented about his wife’s long and healthy hair.  Although we talk over the phone often, I was meeting his wife for the first time, technically the second I would say, as I’ve seen her once, from a distance, when she came to the school (where I was teaching) once, to meet her husband. An averagely tall, naturally pretty, and curly haired woman, she neither looked chic nor like a village belle who badly needs a transformation to match with her husband’s newfound NRI status, after having received a job in Dubai. I don’t know what made him create the very false notion that having very straight hair would make a woman more beautiful, and was really feeling bad for his wife whom he was continuously making fun of, wanting her to have artificially straightened  hair.

Seeing her getting flustered with the constant comments about her ‘unruly’ hair, I tried changing the topic, but he swirled and came back to the very same subject again and again, which I think was a bit irritating and nasty. Although he was meeting me after a couple of years, he’s seen many of my photographs on Facebook, and has showered as much praises as possible for my straightened hair. Did I tell you that I had very curly hair before, just like his wife? It was so curly but cute, literally like telephone cord, however, I had to opted for artificial straightening for the sake of convenience, and not because I felt I would look bad in curly hair. So when he started comparing my hair with hers, it sounded a bit too odd and mean. Embarrassing me more, he wanted to me to ‘motivate’ her to straighten her hair! I couldn’t help but wonder why men can’t stop speaking and acting silly and puerile like him.

I really pity such people who give undue importance to looks, and have always felt the urge to shout-out to them about their stupidity.  Some men addictively idolize women who don’t mind wasting countless hours in front of the mirror every day, making sure their hair is flawlessly styled and their makeup is immaculately perfect. I think they should try and stop confusing what one looks like with their actual persona. Be it artificial hair straightening, makeup, or chic haircuts, they all depend on the likes, tastes, and conveniences of individuals,  and once can never force a person to do this , only because it looks good on someone else.

I don’t want to say looks hardly matter, and won’t say not to forgo one’s beauty rituals, but will definitely say not to fret and overdo. It matters and one has to look presentable, but not amounting to creating an outer layer of artificial persona for oneself, just to match with the fashion trendsetters. My friend’s wife is naturally beautiful, as far as I know, is a very humble woman, who is family bound and takes care of everyone much more than him. So what if she has a coiled or curled hair, she looks good and undoubtedly is the most lovable girl that he can have on earth.