Hate for sake of hating is something that happens to me at times, without any kind of sensible reason to justify my thoughts. Stupid but true! This is a weird side of my persona, and I have to shamefully divulge this as I know I am wrong but can’t help it. I hate them so badly that my thoughts become very much evident from my gestures, thus practically driving them away for no reason of their own. You may perhaps be thinking that I am crazy for hating those who have in no way harmed me. But let me tell you that my hatred is not intentional, but impulsive, and sadly I can’t stop doing it at times. Sometimes they look arrogant, sometimes too silly in their talks, at times deceptive, and in certain cases they even look dangerous right at the very first encounter that I almost shape up a firm image about them, which later guides my behavior towards such people. Thankfully this doesn’t happen often, but very rarely and unexpectedly. Let me tell you one such account of indefensible hatred.
A fair woman with very average looks; she’s one among the forty plus women’s gang in our bus, and keeps blabbering throughout the journey, laughing eccentrically at times. I first met her almost a year back, but haven’t talked to her even once ever since I saw her for the first time. Yet I hate her so badly for some really mysterious reasons that keep whirling around me like those pale ghosts from midnight movies, preventing my mind breaking away the shell of abhorrence.
Initially, even her presence sued irked me to the core, and I even tried figure out what can be the possible reason for my hatred. I tried watching her very closely to know what exactly makes me dislike her, but couldn’t fathom the reason behind my hatred. May be her noisy talks or her hilarious laughter; I have a couple of possibilities to say, but I am not sure of the real reason behind the extreme dislike.
Once I had a bit too rude to her that I almost ignored her when she gave me a very pleasing smile. I know it was very uncouth on my part for disregarding someone who was more than pleasing to me, but let me confess that my hatred overpowered my courteousness, the reason why I couldn’t smile at her, and instead gave a very cold and serious look. I am sure she might have wondered why I did that, and even might have thought that I am a rude and arrogant woman.
As I said before, we don’t know each other personally and haven’t tried to talk to each-other even once, the reason that makes me wonder why I find her extremely annoying and repulsive, although I don’t have any proper justification for my thoughts. I know very well that disliking someone for no apparent reason is totally unjustifiable and egotistical, but let me confess that it just happens over and over again, even with people whom I have never talked to in my entire life. It’s a kind of ‘hatred at first sight’ as it often comes at the very first sight and keeps remaining fixed somewhere inside my heart, no matter how close I get to know that person later on. I know I should never carry a prejudiced mind but I am really helpless when it comes to ‘certain’ people who unknowingly plant the seeds of deep hated inside my mind.
Random cravings
Having a crazy craving for a favorite foodstuff is never a crime, but having the strongest desire to have some of those ‘curvaceous’ jalebis, clad from ‘head to toe’ in pure ghee, can be a little extra luxury for people like me who are on the brim of a balanced figure and may lose the equilibrium any time soon; or in short, very near to bloating up. But sadly I can’t even blame my poor taste buds as they are almost bored with the same old hostel food, and keep triggering such surprising cravings that I can’t afford to deny. So I had this huge craving yesterday, and wanted just one or two jalebis, adequate enough to satisfy my no so stubborn taste buds. I knew that it would add up a few extra calories to my diet, but I so badly wanted it that I purposefully forgot the ‘dietary’ part. To be frank, I am really not an avid fitness freak, and nor am I a lazy lad either. I do my share of exercises whenever possible, but not on a regular basis. I walk a little and do some stretching exercises every day, and make sure not to eat stomach full, the reason why I felt it would be fine to have just one or two jelabis.
So, with all these plans in mind, I left the office on time, thinking about those yummilicious jalebis that I was about to savor. After getting down at the bus stop, I hurried to the nearby bakery, hoping to see those sexy red dressed jalebis welcoming me from inside the glass case. I stepped in to the bakery and the very first sight almost broke my heart in just a second. There was not even one jalebi left in the bakery's glass case, as they had a bulk order from some client of theirs, who took away all the jalebis. I was left with nothing!
After craving for something as simple as jalebi, I couldn’t have even one of them, and was almost in tears. I know this may sound a bit silly for a few of you, but if you try to put yourself in my shoes and see the whole story, you would know how much bad I might have felt yesterday. My big hope for the day got crushed in no time. After seeing the empty class case, I sadly walked out of the bakery wondering whether I should walk a little further and look for other bakeries , but to be frank I didn’t feel like searching further, as I didn’t want to see any more empty glass cases that would make me feel more sad. So I straight away walked to the hostel leaving away those broken 'jalebi dreams' right in front of the bakery.
When it comes to food, be it salty, spicy or sweet, I get deliriously happy seeing those scrumptious ones, and am one among those passionate foodies that you can ever meet. But let me tell you that I am never a fan of those expensive food stuffs. I prefer those decently priced ones that are comfortable for my tongue and my pocket as well. Although I lack even the average culinary expertise one has to have to survive, I am an ardent lover of good food, and at times crave for home cooked food so badly when I get the same monotonous hostel food every time. In fact, my true passion and adoration for delectable food increased when I started living in various hostels, and started missing those wonderful dishes that mom cooks at home. Jokingly I always keep telling my mom and my friends that I would even get ready to marry a chef if he is generous enough to cook some appetizing cuisines every day.
So, with all these plans in mind, I left the office on time, thinking about those yummilicious jalebis that I was about to savor. After getting down at the bus stop, I hurried to the nearby bakery, hoping to see those sexy red dressed jalebis welcoming me from inside the glass case. I stepped in to the bakery and the very first sight almost broke my heart in just a second. There was not even one jalebi left in the bakery's glass case, as they had a bulk order from some client of theirs, who took away all the jalebis. I was left with nothing!
After craving for something as simple as jalebi, I couldn’t have even one of them, and was almost in tears. I know this may sound a bit silly for a few of you, but if you try to put yourself in my shoes and see the whole story, you would know how much bad I might have felt yesterday. My big hope for the day got crushed in no time. After seeing the empty class case, I sadly walked out of the bakery wondering whether I should walk a little further and look for other bakeries , but to be frank I didn’t feel like searching further, as I didn’t want to see any more empty glass cases that would make me feel more sad. So I straight away walked to the hostel leaving away those broken 'jalebi dreams' right in front of the bakery.
When it comes to food, be it salty, spicy or sweet, I get deliriously happy seeing those scrumptious ones, and am one among those passionate foodies that you can ever meet. But let me tell you that I am never a fan of those expensive food stuffs. I prefer those decently priced ones that are comfortable for my tongue and my pocket as well. Although I lack even the average culinary expertise one has to have to survive, I am an ardent lover of good food, and at times crave for home cooked food so badly when I get the same monotonous hostel food every time. In fact, my true passion and adoration for delectable food increased when I started living in various hostels, and started missing those wonderful dishes that mom cooks at home. Jokingly I always keep telling my mom and my friends that I would even get ready to marry a chef if he is generous enough to cook some appetizing cuisines every day.
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