Is there a true fighter in you, a real fighter who can beat even the mightiest of the worries that may come across the hard to traverse path in life? If you are a real combatant, you will have the best life for yourself, no matter whatever shitty things happen. I am writing this because I couldn’t help but wonder why some people as young as fifteen and twenty embrace death at very tender age, as if they don’t have anything left to hope for. I do understand that people are different from one another, and so are their mindset, but there is no excuse whatsoever to surrender oneself before the problems that life puts up before us. Instead, one should look at how to rise up and fight against them with the boldest mind and very practical thoughts.
When it comes to struggles in life, instead of telling someone else’s story, I would prefer saying mine. I won't tell you that I had the worst hardships in life, or I have a story worth giving you a lesson to learn, but life was not easy for me until the last couple of years, and it had hit the rock bottom many times before coming back to the normalcy that people around me see right now. Happiness lived way too far from my life for more than twenty years since my birth. Constant problems one after the other , both in and out of my home, brought in me a mammoth fear to believe, trust and be friendly with people around, especially men - a kind of destructive phobia which in turn drove me away from everyone, thus becoming rebellious, sensitive to the core, and quick-tempered. I was never friendly with everyone, the reason why people hated me for what I was, and I never bothered to care about what they thought. Added to this was the worst inferiority complex that some of my relatives filled-in to minded, by constantly calling me an ugly duckling for having ‘negro like’ curly hair, thick lips, a little more than average belly, and dark skin. It made me hate myself more.
I hated everyone around and drove them away with sharp words that most of them never came back to rekindle their relationship with me. I always felt that men are untrustworthy, and know only to be bossy and abusive. Regarding women, I believed that they are equally untrustworthy like men, and knows only to go around gossiping, bitching, and backbiting, the reason why I never dared to have any heart to heart talks with any of my pals. Constantly cranky and bad-tempered, I was always hated by everyone, which triggered more vengeance in me that I started keeping aloof from all the others around, minding my own business. My parents even arranged a meeting with the best psychologist in the town to know what’s wrong me, but instead of opening up, I kept silent throughout the whole therapy session. I never wanted to open up, never wanted to share anything, and never wanted any kind of sympathy from anybody. I hated showing the terribly wounded and constantly bleeding heart of mine.
As I said, I never had any true friends until 'him' accidentally through a social networking website. Seeing him extent a friendly hand, I felt he is the godsend angel to save me from sinking in to the sea of extreme depression and anger. I was on cloud nine for having him in my life and we often talked for hours together on the phone. I sharing all my sorrows and he was too kind to me, pacifying me with his soothing words which brought in a ray of hope in to my dark life.
With the help of the new-found positivity and hope , I moved to a new city and took up a new job. We mostly spoke over the phone as he lived way to far from my place. I met him only once over a cup of coffee, and was thrilled beyond words for having him around. But fate had more share of heartbreaks for me. Within a year, I accidentally bumped in to the ‘real’ him, while having a long causal talk with one of his friends. I was extremely shocked to hear that what i knew about him was just dynamically opposite of what my so called ‘only friend’ of three years really is. It was hear-breaking and I saw my world shattering in front of me, as I couldn’t take in the truth so easily. No sooner, I started sinking in to depression, constantly ranting and freaking about anything and everything in life. It took almost more than three quarter of a year and many night of tear stained pillows to make my mind come in to compromise with the hard to digest facts about my ‘friend’.
But by the time I came out of the whole mess, my heart grew harder and stronger like never before, I started concentrating more on my life and my career, took up a new 'chic look' that actually boosted my enthusiasm and confidence manifolds. I started enjoying every bit of my life in full swing. The lately found positive aura helped me meet some people whom I would not call friends, but those whom I like to be with. This in no way means I didn’t bump in to any more shitty male figures thereafter. Yes I did, but knew how to give handle them fiercely.
It’s been many years since all the fiascos happened, and now I am in my full enthusiasm and vigor, contented with my professional and personal life, contented for what I have. I have also swiped away all my ‘phobias’, and I am fine with meeting people and enjoying their company, irrespective of whether they are men or women.
My ‘first found’ friend and I are still in touch, as I forgave him long back, not because he deserves it, but just because I deserve peace of mind and don’t want to carry shitload of negativity and depressing thoughts throughout my life. Not only him, I forgave everyone who hurt me, and let me tell you that it felt good and comfortable cleaning away the whole lot of sadness that had accumulated in my mind throughout the years.
Lesson learned: No matter whatever you face, try getting up and fighting back in full strength, as there is no negativity or hardship in this world that you cannot defeat. As one of my colleagues says, life is like a foot ball match, and you should play it to win and only to win. It’s ok if you lose in between, learn the lesson from your loss and start playing all over again.
So now I play to win and only to win!
How simple things can teach us big lessons
If you ask me the best place in my hostel, I wouldn’t take even a second to give you the answer, as it’s no other place but our really big and beautiful garden , right in front of the three colossal buildings that provide roof to more than 200 of us, the inmates. The mesmerizing beauty of our garden not only captivates the attention of people who visits us, but also the passersby who take a second or two to stand in front and watch its enchanting beauty. There is a funny side, and that’s when men get misunderstood as eve teasers, when the stop for a moment and enjoy the beauty of garden, the real ‘headturner’, with some of the beautiful trees and flowers that one could ever find in the entire city.
Being Sunday, totally free from the juggles of work, I decided to relax a bit in the evening, by walking through our garden. It had rained a few minutes before I got out, and I could see tiny droplets of water on the leaves and flowers, glittering beautifully in the little bit of sunshine that followed the drizzle. I took my coffee from the mess hall, and walked towards the benches in the garden.
Most of the inmates often spend their Sunday hanging out with friends, or boyfriends to be precise, while the married ones go home, the reason why there weren’t many people in the garden. I sat on one of the benches there and started sipping my coffee. It was damp everywhere and the grass was soothingly wet. I took off my flip-flops and kept my bare feet on the grass to feel the ticklish coldness that soon drove in straight in to my body giving me goose bump of delight. Cold wind was rushing through my hair, and I closed my eyes for a moment enjoying the aroma of rain that the wind carried along with it.
It hurt me, my heart ached beyond measure, and I looked at the flower with a heavy heat. But surprisingly, I felt as if it’s happily bidding adieu, saying it’s time to leave this beautiful earth, promising to return soon. I had seen fully bloomed rose flower as I was walking towards the mess hall in the morning, and now here it is, ready to die-out in less than a day after full bloom. It was looking extremely attractive and blissful in the morning, as if it was completely taking pleasure in its presence on the earth, beautifully dancing to-and-fro to the slow breeze, attracting the attention of everyone who passed by, smiling at them graciously. But came evening time, and here it is ready to end its life on earth!
Even when it was about to lose its angelic charm, ready to die and decay, the petals looked absolutely divine as if it has totally no regrets to die-out. Without complaining to me about how nature had cruelly plucked it off from the rose flower, the petals soon flew away from my hand, in to the direction that the wind took them. As I kept walking I looked again at the rose flower, and I could see more petals leaving it, falling down one by one.
I walked back towards my room thinking about the rose flower and the petals that were forcefully separated from it. Without any qualms, they left the flower and the plant, one by one, falling down gracefully, as if they are leaving the earth to be reborn, to be happy all over again.
While we stupidly spend the entire life worrying about trivial things, here’s a beautiful flower that‘s ready to abide by the laws of nature and mother earth, giving us a good lesson to remember. We poison and kill our body and mind throughout our life, throwing many useless things on ourselves unnecessarily, just to quench our selfish and egoistic needs, losing the beauty of life, happiness that we’re gifted with, and the purity and divinity that nature has bestowed on us, where as here’s a rose flower, that lived its life to the fullest, even if it’s for a day, ready to die and fade out positively, hoping to be reborn very soon.
Sometimes even those things that you consider simple and unimportant can give you some of the biggest lessons in life, and here are two rose petals that kept telling me one of them, while dying out – Don’t poison yourself with unquenchable selfishness, instead, live your life to the fullest and spread happiness every day, because you don’t own the very next moment, and you can never predict it. So why bother to leave away the happiness of the present moment?
Being Sunday, totally free from the juggles of work, I decided to relax a bit in the evening, by walking through our garden. It had rained a few minutes before I got out, and I could see tiny droplets of water on the leaves and flowers, glittering beautifully in the little bit of sunshine that followed the drizzle. I took my coffee from the mess hall, and walked towards the benches in the garden.
Most of the inmates often spend their Sunday hanging out with friends, or boyfriends to be precise, while the married ones go home, the reason why there weren’t many people in the garden. I sat on one of the benches there and started sipping my coffee. It was damp everywhere and the grass was soothingly wet. I took off my flip-flops and kept my bare feet on the grass to feel the ticklish coldness that soon drove in straight in to my body giving me goose bump of delight. Cold wind was rushing through my hair, and I closed my eyes for a moment enjoying the aroma of rain that the wind carried along with it.
I finished my coffee and wanted to walk through the garden for some time. I took a few steps from the benches and there started another drizzle. Scared of the possible chances of getting a fever, I wanted to go back to my room, but soon changed my mind thinking about the pleasure of walking in the garden amid an enticing drizzle. I took a few more steps and raised my bare hands up towards the sky, closing my eyes, feeling the cold rain drops tickling my skin. I felt a cozy feel on my hand and opened my eyes to see what it could be. It was nothing but two beautiful rose petals that had fallen from the rose flower on the nearby plant.
It hurt me, my heart ached beyond measure, and I looked at the flower with a heavy heat. But surprisingly, I felt as if it’s happily bidding adieu, saying it’s time to leave this beautiful earth, promising to return soon. I had seen fully bloomed rose flower as I was walking towards the mess hall in the morning, and now here it is, ready to die-out in less than a day after full bloom. It was looking extremely attractive and blissful in the morning, as if it was completely taking pleasure in its presence on the earth, beautifully dancing to-and-fro to the slow breeze, attracting the attention of everyone who passed by, smiling at them graciously. But came evening time, and here it is ready to end its life on earth!
Even when it was about to lose its angelic charm, ready to die and decay, the petals looked absolutely divine as if it has totally no regrets to die-out. Without complaining to me about how nature had cruelly plucked it off from the rose flower, the petals soon flew away from my hand, in to the direction that the wind took them. As I kept walking I looked again at the rose flower, and I could see more petals leaving it, falling down one by one.
I walked back towards my room thinking about the rose flower and the petals that were forcefully separated from it. Without any qualms, they left the flower and the plant, one by one, falling down gracefully, as if they are leaving the earth to be reborn, to be happy all over again.
While we stupidly spend the entire life worrying about trivial things, here’s a beautiful flower that‘s ready to abide by the laws of nature and mother earth, giving us a good lesson to remember. We poison and kill our body and mind throughout our life, throwing many useless things on ourselves unnecessarily, just to quench our selfish and egoistic needs, losing the beauty of life, happiness that we’re gifted with, and the purity and divinity that nature has bestowed on us, where as here’s a rose flower, that lived its life to the fullest, even if it’s for a day, ready to die and fade out positively, hoping to be reborn very soon.
Sometimes even those things that you consider simple and unimportant can give you some of the biggest lessons in life, and here are two rose petals that kept telling me one of them, while dying out – Don’t poison yourself with unquenchable selfishness, instead, live your life to the fullest and spread happiness every day, because you don’t own the very next moment, and you can never predict it. So why bother to leave away the happiness of the present moment?
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