Another year is gearing up to bid goodbye! Looking back at those bygone months, I feel that they have gone way too fast than those in the previous years. This thought of quickly losing a precious year of my life is making me feel a little low, for not being able to achieve some of those must needed changes and diversions in both professional and personal front.
At the outset, after spending almost six years in this city, 2013 is the year when I had so badly and desperately wanted to move to a newer place and enjoy the company newer people. After wanting a refreshing change from the constantly repeating daily routine that has almost made me more than evidently mechanical, and after trying hard to get it, I have been so badly unsuccessful and desolate, which has been draining out my enthusiasm and confidence to keep trying more. If you ask me the reason why I want to move on, I have a couple of reasons to say, of which a better professional life comes first, following by the terrible need to put an end to by incomparably long hostel life. Honing my skills has always been one of my priorities, and I right now, I want to dive in to more prospective arenas on a professional front, to earn for myself a more broad-spectrum knowledge and higher levels of hands-on experiences that help boost my knowledge and at the same time provide me a more better financial backing to survive in this alarmingly costlier world in which everything except human beings are so damn pricey beyond reach. Repeated tries to get this done took lions share of my time this year, and returned nothing but some heavy and saddening thoughts on why I so terribly failed, even after being capable and gifted to a commendable level. Absolutely desolate and badly depressed, I often hold back my tears when I start thinking about this, the reason why I want to purposefully forget my failures and move-on with the hope that if god willing I would achieve it in 2014.
After having lived a good number of years in various hostels, and particularly single and sometimes so lonely, I hoped that 2013 would bring the life partner that I had always dreamed about, so that I could end the year as well as my prolonged hostel life on a positive note. But sadly I could never find someone who can be my truest and trustworthy friend for life. Most of the men whom I met either needed a partner to quench their physical desires or a slave to whom they can keep giving orders whenever and wherever they preferred. I looked around the entire year for that ‘special someone’ and couldn’t find him till now, as the year draws to a close. This hasn’t made me so terribly and visibly upset to the level of tear jerking, but I am feeling sad that I so badly failed on a personal front as well. Like any other woman, I too have always wanted a love-filled life with friend-like partner with whom I could happily grow old, but as I can never compromise on the narrow-minded, heavily egoistic, dictator-like, and bossy attitude of men, I kept refraining from entering in to any relationships till now, and hope I would get to meet that special someone in 2014.
Having said all the failed dreams of mine, I should also mention the bunch of surprising blessings that this year gave me, and most important one among this is my revived and rejuvenated writing style that has helped me jot down a good number of blog posts that one could read here on my blog. 2013 has made me feel more empowered as a writer and look forward to polishing my skills more and more in the coming years. Apart from writing, I also rekindled my love for reading this year, and managed to rebuild that long-lost bondage with books. As I have said many times before, I am not good in making friends, and nor am I interested in those artificially created relationships, the reason why my friends list remains the same like the previous year. Many other changes, both sudden and premeditated, and on-and-off twists and turns have changed my life for good, no matter how they came-in.
As the year winds down, like every one, I too have a bunch of hopes for the coming year, but I am not deeply reliant on them, and do not wish go overboard and over-expect about anything, as I hate myself falling deep down in to the pitfall of being let-down by fate. As always, I do want to save myself from being doomed in the sea of sorrow, in case my hopes and plans turn out fruitless at some point of the year. But I must also admit something here, and that’s I am extremely thankful for whatever I am blessed with right now, and have absolutely no remorse about anything and no hard feelings for anyone, as I believe that forgive and forget is mantra makes me move on, although the first part of it is a bit difficult sometimes.
Scared to age
Although I am not a movie buff, I do watch some of them, depending on my mood and the availability of time. Of-late there have been a lot of releases in all the three regional languages that I choose to watch that I never get ample time to watch them all before they lose their appeal and vanish from the cinema halls. Basically I find it hard to sit continually for about two hours and keep my eyes fixed constantly on the screen, but ask me to read a book or write a blog post, and I can do that in the same two hours, with all the possible perfection that you would look for. But movies are definitely not my cup of tea, although, like I said before, I do watch a few of them, but not all.
Of the many uninteresting factors about new movies, one of the most pathetic ones that I get to notice, especially in a streamline of movies that have been released these days is the unattractive and unappealing romantic antics of heroes who are way too much older for the heroines in the movies. I always keep thinking about the possible reasons why these middle aged or rather much older heroes are keen to choose heroines as younger as their daughters, but have never been able to draw a reasonable answer that looks convincing and rational. But one of the main reasons that I feel is the unsuccessful effort on the actor’s or director’s side to portray the actor to be much younger than his actual age. I think that many of them do believe too much on this self-drawn conclusion that a heroine who is much younger than the hero may portray him to be as younger as his female lead. If they believe so, I think it’s high time they should come out of that make-belief world and watch the reality in itself, where the hero turns out absolutely weird with his clownish gestures and more than evident heavy make-up, to desperately match with the young looks of the female protagonist.
I happened to watch a movie a couple of day’s back, in which the hero who is as close to sixty years was seen romancing someone in twenties, much younger than his own daughter. I was not taken aback, but was amused by the director’s/actor’s choice of heroine. If they had intended to show the hero as young as the heroine, I have to say that they failed so miserably that each and everyone in the audience could easily trace-out the wrinkles on his face and neck, even after an alleged facelift surgery that he is rumored to have done some time back. I still keep wondering about the possible reasons that make them ashamed to show their real age and come in terms with the fact that they can no more essay the roles of chocolate heroes, the kind of characters that they had successfully portrayed during their much younger days.
Having said this, I think I should also go a bit psychological to dig out the reasons why young heroines, especially in their teens, often become the favorite choices of those much older heroes or the self-confessed superstars of cine industry. Like I said before, most of them hate to admit that they are old enough for the roles that they crave for, and are scared to do so, after their decreasing market value, and the galloping demand for those much younger heroes in the industry. Another reason, I believe, is their fear of entering the club of the ‘retired’, from where they would have no hope to go back to the mainstream of the industry, and have all the fame and luxuries that they had owned once. Equally important is the fan-following that they keep boasting of. Although the so called stars of the industry keep bragging about the difficulties of being mobbed by their fans, I’ve always felt that they love and enjoy it most of the times, and would definitely feel their world falling apart if they don’t get to see a huge crowd of fans greeting and cheering for them, when they are out for a meeting or inside a movie hall. These and many more of such logical reasons when crafted together unveil the illusionary and pretentious world in which our cine stars live, and their immense fear to come close to reality, breaking the nutshell of the utopian world they prefer to live-in.
There was a reality show yesterday, where one of the male contestants, and a well-known actor, was heard saying that he is 40 years old, whereas umpteen documents that are surfacing on the internet keep echoing her actual age, which is 45. Why fear age, when you can always age proudly and gracefully, as well as remain strong and noticeable in the cine industry with genuine talent?
Of the many uninteresting factors about new movies, one of the most pathetic ones that I get to notice, especially in a streamline of movies that have been released these days is the unattractive and unappealing romantic antics of heroes who are way too much older for the heroines in the movies. I always keep thinking about the possible reasons why these middle aged or rather much older heroes are keen to choose heroines as younger as their daughters, but have never been able to draw a reasonable answer that looks convincing and rational. But one of the main reasons that I feel is the unsuccessful effort on the actor’s or director’s side to portray the actor to be much younger than his actual age. I think that many of them do believe too much on this self-drawn conclusion that a heroine who is much younger than the hero may portray him to be as younger as his female lead. If they believe so, I think it’s high time they should come out of that make-belief world and watch the reality in itself, where the hero turns out absolutely weird with his clownish gestures and more than evident heavy make-up, to desperately match with the young looks of the female protagonist.
I happened to watch a movie a couple of day’s back, in which the hero who is as close to sixty years was seen romancing someone in twenties, much younger than his own daughter. I was not taken aback, but was amused by the director’s/actor’s choice of heroine. If they had intended to show the hero as young as the heroine, I have to say that they failed so miserably that each and everyone in the audience could easily trace-out the wrinkles on his face and neck, even after an alleged facelift surgery that he is rumored to have done some time back. I still keep wondering about the possible reasons that make them ashamed to show their real age and come in terms with the fact that they can no more essay the roles of chocolate heroes, the kind of characters that they had successfully portrayed during their much younger days.
Having said this, I think I should also go a bit psychological to dig out the reasons why young heroines, especially in their teens, often become the favorite choices of those much older heroes or the self-confessed superstars of cine industry. Like I said before, most of them hate to admit that they are old enough for the roles that they crave for, and are scared to do so, after their decreasing market value, and the galloping demand for those much younger heroes in the industry. Another reason, I believe, is their fear of entering the club of the ‘retired’, from where they would have no hope to go back to the mainstream of the industry, and have all the fame and luxuries that they had owned once. Equally important is the fan-following that they keep boasting of. Although the so called stars of the industry keep bragging about the difficulties of being mobbed by their fans, I’ve always felt that they love and enjoy it most of the times, and would definitely feel their world falling apart if they don’t get to see a huge crowd of fans greeting and cheering for them, when they are out for a meeting or inside a movie hall. These and many more of such logical reasons when crafted together unveil the illusionary and pretentious world in which our cine stars live, and their immense fear to come close to reality, breaking the nutshell of the utopian world they prefer to live-in.
There was a reality show yesterday, where one of the male contestants, and a well-known actor, was heard saying that he is 40 years old, whereas umpteen documents that are surfacing on the internet keep echoing her actual age, which is 45. Why fear age, when you can always age proudly and gracefully, as well as remain strong and noticeable in the cine industry with genuine talent?
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