A young college going girl, a bubbly teenager, enters the adult film industry, just because she is desperately in need of money to pay her tuition fees! If that sounds like the storyline of a movie, let me clarify, it's not, on the contrary, the story was almost the headline of the every newspaper that I read the other day. Although I couldn’t decipher the news value of what was written, I must say that the entire news story was carefully jotted down with the intention to portray her as a ‘daring and determined’ woman who wants to scale greater heights in life, the reason why she ended up doing what others of her age would never ever have dreamt of even in their wildest dreams; thus expecting the reader to leave teary eyed. But I am sorry to say that I am not one of such emotionally weak person who would feel sorry for someone who has chosen an industry that can leave her on the marginalized space in the society from where she would have the faintest chance of building up a prospective career of her own, even after all the troubles that she’s taking to finish her education.
No matter how broaden our minds are, we’re yet to widen our thoughts about those who are part of the industry that most of us hate or hesitate to speak in public. Adult industry and adult movies are the hush-hush topics for most of us, and I am pretty sure that we would definitely think twice before sharing a space with an adult movie star, just because of the industry he/she comes from. With such scarily narrowed thoughts about adult film industry, I cannot help but wonder how the lady whom I am speaking about will manage to finish her education and get herself a good job, and climb up the ladder of career success. It’s hard! It’s really hard!
With that I said, I must state this very clearly that I have no hatred for adult movie stars, and think they are just one among us, and in fact the must-haves of a few people who feel the lack of having adequate options to take themselves to the paramount of ultimate physical satisfaction. Yes, it’s a booming business and many people voluntarily opt for it, looking out to make quick bucks, and at the same time enjoy their bit of sexual gratification every day. It’s their call and I am no one to judge them. But what I read now is a different story, where a college going girl voluntarily works for adult movies and make money for her tuition fees, without the knowledge of her parents. While she does it for a good cause, and want to build up a career for herself, her choice of part time job is what keeps me thinking, as I vehemently feel she has made a wrong choice for herself. Making a worse mishmash of the whole situation, she’s now come out to speak about it in public, which I think, would not bring her any gain other than adding more predicaments. As I said, I have no intention to judge her based on what she does to make a living, but, strongly feels it would fade her career prospects so badly, just because of the profession she has chosen.
What you choose to do will definitely influence how you’re looked upon by people, the general public as well as those close to you. This holds true in all that we do, and adult movie making is no different. In a society where abuses against women hit the headlines practically each day, we can presume how hard it would be for women like her to lead a normal life and dig her past way. At some point or the other, the lid of the can of worms that she may close as tightly as possible would open abruptly, leaving her to being ignored, teased, left out, and sometimes abused. Is this what she would be wanting for herself in the coming days? I don’t know! Even when I completely understand her need for getting the best education for herself, I strongly feel, she would have had a number of other options for herself, to get the money that she wanted. Scholarships and loans are not new to us, although time-consuming, and contains some strenuous documentations and works that may test your patience and hope at many situations. Even part time jobs are very common these days, and most of them are well paying ones, sufficient enough for a single woman to enroll herself in an average university. So, in spite of the splendid availability of several opportunities that could have helped her amass the money for her tuition fees, she chose to do this, breaking all the societal barriers. While accepting her courage to take such a bold step, I can’t help but think about all the possible outcomes of what she has chosen to do.
Let me conclude this post with an anecdote- As I was reading one of the well-known newspapers, I happened to read a news story in the entertainment section, which said a famous show host refused to invite an actress to his show, only because she was working with the adult industry before being a part of the main stream cinema. If this is how the an entertainment industry perceives about yet another one, what would happen if an ex-adult movie star applies for a job in an MNC? I leave it for you to think.
Let friendship happen on its own
Having someone to talk your heart out is much more than a blessing, which becomes even more delightful if the person who hears us doesn't get tempted to twist and deform our words in the ‘wrong way’, and at the same time share a similar ‘wavelength’ and outlook to rightly identify and understand what we speak about . This became a lot more wonderful when someone from the opposite sex, with all the aforesaid traits, extended a hand of friendship unconditionally, the main reason why I want to talk about this new ‘friend’ of mine He is way too far from being flirty, shady, and childish, almost like a breath of fresh breath of air on a sun-kissed spring morning, making me feel happier and hopeful, even amid the whole lot of putrid-minded and selfish people and deceptive relations that surround me.
As we have just started making our bond, I prefer refraining from thinking that he might become a friend for a lifetime, mainly because of the endless number of bad experiences that I’ve had throughout my life, by judging people in the very wrong way. Yet, my innate thoughts do keep asserting that he is worth calling a friend for a lifetime, but am very much scared to take a chance. I have now become quite dubious about everything and everyone that indicates a forthcoming friendship, and prefer to keep my limits and talk from within the safe walls. Yet my heart keeps saying that he is the kind of genuine friend that I have always wanted.
A true friend, male or female, is too hard to get, and a sincere friend, is yet harder to find out. In this world of sheer selfishness, backbiting, gossiping, and treachery, I have never been lucky to have a true friend, at any point of my life. Schools, colleges, and workplaces, never opened the doors to genuine friendships. I kept desperately knocking at many wrong doors and always ended up making absolutely wrong friends, as they never valued my feelings for them. What I gained from my desperation was nothing but a whole bunch of sorrowful experiences that drove away my trust and hope on friendship, and I ended up leaving away my hopeful thoughts about ‘making friends’.
I have never tried to go back and dissect the follies I made while looking for friendships, as they all tend to bring back a lot of moments that I forcibly flushed out of my mind. Yet I can say one thing for sure - I was badly desperate to have a friend for myself. Until a couple of years back, I was driven by the constant thought that I have to have a 'true' friend for myself, no matter by hook or crook, and this perhaps might have made me overlook the intentions of people who came to me promising ‘ideal’ friendships and tons of happiness. I was too naïve and unconditionally accepted everyone, thus failing to notice their hidden intentions and interests. But all my friendships were short-lived and got 'slaughtered' soon by the deceit and treachery of the aforesaid 'friends' who came to me with vested interests. I was not ready to give up, and resurrected every time, looking again for friendships, only to get more humiliations and hurtful experiences.
This constantly happened for quite some time, and once I had had enough, with all the lesson that I managed to learn from each bad experience, I decided to stop searching for friends. While maintaining my contacts in a healthy way, I learned to keep people around me outside a set boundary from where I can ferociously guard myself from getting subjected to more painful experiences. So, when I get to hear friendship talks and see people introducing their ‘true friends’, I always wonder how in-depth the relations are, mainly because I’ve never had one such, in spite of trying hard and wanting it so badly and desperately.
Most of the people I've met have used my friendship for all their own personal gains, and later heartlessly left me half the way, from where I did shamelessly try to get back to some of them, only to get hurt more. Now I hardly care a bit about friendships or friends, as have started finding absolute contentment in the way I am. I have wholeheartedly embraced the solitude that I’ve been in-to, and have started seeing it through a better and happier perspective, which has in fact energized my mind and soul beyond words could ever express. Having said this, I must say this again that I am not a loner and I don’t keep aloof from people around. I do share healthy relations with everyone, but is not any more desperate for friends, men or women. If that’s not my cup of tea, I prefer staying away from driving myself towards any friendship, and let me and my mind remain independent, until a true bondage comes to me and remains with me forever.
So, as I continue to try and bond with this new ‘friend’, I have a clear idea of where to set-in my limits and what not to expect. No matter whether this is going to end in a couple of days or remain lively for a lifetime, with absolutely no qualms and expectations I will accept it wholeheartedly. I will remain truthful, do things unconditionally, and at the same time make my mind understand that I have to keep expecting the unexpected every time, and not give anyone any more chances to plunge dagger of treachery and deceit deep in to my heart.
As we have just started making our bond, I prefer refraining from thinking that he might become a friend for a lifetime, mainly because of the endless number of bad experiences that I’ve had throughout my life, by judging people in the very wrong way. Yet, my innate thoughts do keep asserting that he is worth calling a friend for a lifetime, but am very much scared to take a chance. I have now become quite dubious about everything and everyone that indicates a forthcoming friendship, and prefer to keep my limits and talk from within the safe walls. Yet my heart keeps saying that he is the kind of genuine friend that I have always wanted.
A true friend, male or female, is too hard to get, and a sincere friend, is yet harder to find out. In this world of sheer selfishness, backbiting, gossiping, and treachery, I have never been lucky to have a true friend, at any point of my life. Schools, colleges, and workplaces, never opened the doors to genuine friendships. I kept desperately knocking at many wrong doors and always ended up making absolutely wrong friends, as they never valued my feelings for them. What I gained from my desperation was nothing but a whole bunch of sorrowful experiences that drove away my trust and hope on friendship, and I ended up leaving away my hopeful thoughts about ‘making friends’.
I have never tried to go back and dissect the follies I made while looking for friendships, as they all tend to bring back a lot of moments that I forcibly flushed out of my mind. Yet I can say one thing for sure - I was badly desperate to have a friend for myself. Until a couple of years back, I was driven by the constant thought that I have to have a 'true' friend for myself, no matter by hook or crook, and this perhaps might have made me overlook the intentions of people who came to me promising ‘ideal’ friendships and tons of happiness. I was too naïve and unconditionally accepted everyone, thus failing to notice their hidden intentions and interests. But all my friendships were short-lived and got 'slaughtered' soon by the deceit and treachery of the aforesaid 'friends' who came to me with vested interests. I was not ready to give up, and resurrected every time, looking again for friendships, only to get more humiliations and hurtful experiences.
This constantly happened for quite some time, and once I had had enough, with all the lesson that I managed to learn from each bad experience, I decided to stop searching for friends. While maintaining my contacts in a healthy way, I learned to keep people around me outside a set boundary from where I can ferociously guard myself from getting subjected to more painful experiences. So, when I get to hear friendship talks and see people introducing their ‘true friends’, I always wonder how in-depth the relations are, mainly because I’ve never had one such, in spite of trying hard and wanting it so badly and desperately.
Most of the people I've met have used my friendship for all their own personal gains, and later heartlessly left me half the way, from where I did shamelessly try to get back to some of them, only to get hurt more. Now I hardly care a bit about friendships or friends, as have started finding absolute contentment in the way I am. I have wholeheartedly embraced the solitude that I’ve been in-to, and have started seeing it through a better and happier perspective, which has in fact energized my mind and soul beyond words could ever express. Having said this, I must say this again that I am not a loner and I don’t keep aloof from people around. I do share healthy relations with everyone, but is not any more desperate for friends, men or women. If that’s not my cup of tea, I prefer staying away from driving myself towards any friendship, and let me and my mind remain independent, until a true bondage comes to me and remains with me forever.
So, as I continue to try and bond with this new ‘friend’, I have a clear idea of where to set-in my limits and what not to expect. No matter whether this is going to end in a couple of days or remain lively for a lifetime, with absolutely no qualms and expectations I will accept it wholeheartedly. I will remain truthful, do things unconditionally, and at the same time make my mind understand that I have to keep expecting the unexpected every time, and not give anyone any more chances to plunge dagger of treachery and deceit deep in to my heart.
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