Sorry, I'm Not Sorry

After having watched this advertisement of Pantene which unveiled a shocking truth to the world that women apologize more than men, mostly for no reason whatsoever, I cannot help but ponder over the reason liberal use of the s-word by most of the women out there.

It really got me to thinking about the number of times I apologize a day and the reasons why I do that. The result shocked me further, as no matter whether I am in office or at home, I apologized all the time, much more than what I thought, mostly for trivial , dumbest things; and unknowingly continue to do all the time. Although I am not sure about how I am perceived for having uttered those higher number of apologies throughout my life, the advertisement empowered me to keep a check on my emotional and sensitive self, so that I don’t utter more apologies for insignificant things in life. I am not sure if all women have this strong urge to apologize for everything, but the advertisement strongly vocalized the need to delete the unwanted urge to apologize for unimportant things in life.

With its constant use anywhere and everywhere, ‘I am sorry’, has now become almost flippant, and insincerity personified. With an advertisement that clearly articulated about the need for women to stop their frequent apologies, I feel women are responsible more for the recession and flippancy of the word sorry. I don’t know how it turned out habitual in my life, because I’ve always been on the keener side, and hardly landed in troubles that forced me apologize. The apologies that I’ve articulated by far might have come from my mistaken notion that the apologies would give me a way out from the bad situations. But after watching the advertisement, I feel that it hasn’t done anything worth.

Personally, I believe that apologising too much is a result of the incorrect notion that it makes one more polite and likable. Most women do it in the hope that the other person shouldn’t feel bad. In certain settings it may do good, whereas in certain others, it can be the worst move that one can make, and the advertisement echoes this idea that saying too many apologies is a bad idea. Analyze people around closely and one can soon find that blame and shame trickle down a woman’s mind sooner, when compared to men, and most of the times they are absolutely irrational and insensible. We believe that an instant apology is the best way to mitigate every heated situation in our life, no matter whether we trigger them or not. The advertisement exposes this false reasoning and spreads the message of empowerment. While I sulk around the corner to get in to my senior’s cabin, I unknowingly tend to ask, “Very sorry to disturb you. Can I ask you a doubt?” Even if she says “Sure come in. No need to apologize.”, my replied would be immediate, “O.K. I am sorry.”

The advertisement , I believe, is a like a mirror that reflects our own self, and leave a strong message to stand up for ourselves and stop apologizing for trivial stuffs. As the ad ended, I felt I heard a yell and looked around. There was no one behind me, but I soon understood that the yell came out from the revived and empowered soul of mine. It said, “Stop saying ‘sorry’ all the time! Stop being apologetic unnecessarily. You don’t need to do that unless you really did do something wrong, O.K.? Or else the entire world would find that as a reason to prick you for lack of confidence.”

It is time high time to get over with this frailty, and I want to save all my ‘sorries’ to be said for reasons that are rational enough for an actual apology. I want to them all to be said to people who needs sympathy in actuality, as I’ve had this realization, although off late, that ‘sorries’ lose their value when they are overused. Perhaps I should find a more creative way of saying it when I feel that a sorry is detrimental to my own self.

Bottom-line- While some people may start respecting you less for being constantly sorry, some big-headed ones may feel that you are much more conceited than them for not being apologetic.

Fame (or infamy) in 140 Characters

Fame is addictive, fame is contagious, and so is the reason why people are keener than before to get hold of it by hook or crook. The newest and perhaps most talked about platform where one gets heightened to fame overnight, for the good or the bad, Twitter, often turns out to be an unfettered podium for public spats . Taking potshots at anyone and everyone on Twitter has now become quite common among both celebrities and commoners and am yet to decipher the reason why people willingly ridicule others so openly on the web, only to put their feet in their mouths later and get themselves ridiculed at the end. Although I am used to seeing the day today bickering on Twitter, occasionally limiting to a few posts and most of the times extending to explosive rows, they are turning out downright trashy and nauseatingly offensive nowadays.

With people arguing it out left, right and centre, more and more people find it amusing to snoop on Twitter than actually tweet their thoughts. When the rich and the famed indulge in such ugly spats, the media leaves no stones unturned to expose, bisect, and comment on each of the 140 character posts that trigger some much heated arguments. But when a commoner openly confronts on Twitter, thankfully the messages are limited to a few, yet remain open to be read by anyone and everyone online. Such famous and less-famous rants got me to thinking why people are so keen and desperate to wash the dirty linen in public and make a mockery of themselves before the world. Here is the most recent one among such high-profile rants that have hit the headlines. Among the two, one is riding high on his new-found success while the other is a self-proclaimed superstar, but sadly both showed their true colors with their verbal fight on world’s most widely used social networking sites, Twitter. What amused me more was not their choice of words, but their much shocking audacity to turn to Twitter to give vent to their ego. With thousands and ten thousands who constantly follow their tawdry musings, and lakhs of other subscribers who are free to read their vicious and enraged commenting on each other, I cannot help but think about the reason why these self-proclaimed stars are hell-bent on garnering the wrong publicity on Twitter, by constantly ranting on trivial stuffs. This is the newest trend among both young and old, both rich and the not so rich, who unwittingly yearn for shortcuts to skyrocket to meteoric fame in one way or the other.

Online of offline, a constructive criticism or an honest message goes a long way and t fruitful turns out to be a fruitful effort to pointing out things that one would otherwise fail to accept wholeheartedly. But the world is now overcrowded with bunches of annoying social media screamers who conveniently cross the line of decency and decorum as and when they wish, with poor choice of words, screaming at the top of their lungs like ravenous hyenas. Twitter is no impromptu situation where you can slip in to trouble due to lack of time to give a pre-arranged message. Yet many lack the basic civility, and spark a great deal of unwanted controversy, just for immediate fame. Make a big deal out of nothing is never a shortcut to overnight fame, nor is it a remedy to combat the any of the nasty things that being said online. It will only confound and irritate others.

Publicity, good or bad would nurture and boost the ego of a few, and boost their journey to fame, but they all must do our society a favour by weighing their words by being more cautious before posting more impromptu and derogatory posts and speeches. Social media, no matter Twitter or Facebook, gives incendiary words more longevity and reach, sparking heated online sparring in no time, along with courting endless troubles and real world consequences, both legal and personal. Giving your words a second thought and a very careful consideration will actually do more good than lamenting about how your words would take you to raging controversies and foulmouthed attacks, thus hurting you and many others.