Scriped ‘dramalities’ and unscripted hullabaloos

While they are hailed as the most attention-grabbing alternatives that give the daily soap operas a run for their money, today’s reality shows are far from the much-spoken-about reality that they promise to serve. Despite the fact that myriads of these most-watched reality fiascos continue to display everything from happiness to anger and hatred to apparently intense love, I have often felt that each bit of the on screen persona of most of the self-professed reality stars are carefully scripted with the aim of spicing and dramatizing the shows to the verge of sickening displaying of larger-than-life emotions that are far from grounded realities.

From loud abuses and slaps to picking up nasty fights, indulging in naughty and bitchy conversations and enjoying ‘washroom’ romances, the contestants can even pitifully shamelessly smooch or make out as per pre-written scripts, in order to quench their thirst for fame and money. While some portray themselves to be delicate darlings by crying their hearts out at the drop of a hat, some others are inexplicably thick-skinned to make controversy out of every single incident.

Irrespective of watching a few episodes of these widely talked about shows, I haven’t yet found out the reason that makes them the true-blue crowd-pullers that allure both young and old alike. From petty cat-fights to shameless PDAs, each moment of such shows cater oodles of trashy content that has zero value for the viewers who are subtly tricked into believing that whatever they get to watch on the screen are happening for real. However, when you look at them carefully, each word and deed of the participants continue to shout out the message that all that said and done things are well-scripted and brilliantly practiced to perfection.

But sadly, most of the viewers are addictively engrossed in the happenings, and takein them beyond significance, thus ending up draining their entire energy on the non-stop spree to defend/rebuke these stars with their verbal abilities, on any social media they have access to. While these loyal viewers are all in praise of their preferred reality celebs, they revengefully scoff, scorn, and abuse everyone who disagrees with the brazenness of their favourite reality stars. However, the unseen reality might shock these ardent fans who might never imagine even in their wildest dreams that the intenseness of love, wrath, and fury that’s being displayed onscreen often dies out as soon as the curtains fall. Or, when precisely put, JO DIKHTA HAI WO HOTA NAHI HAI AUR JO HOTA HAI WHO DIKTA NAHI HAI.

As I continue to wonder how these men and women on reality shows gather the courage to speak foul, smooch publically, manhandle fellow contestants, and backbite shamelessly in front of numerous cameras, all for the sake of adding loads of ‘reality’ to their shows, I am equally amazed to see how such faked incidents trigger endless unnecessary debates on social media. What surprises me more is the loyalty and intermittent ferocity of many self-confessed fans who never leave any stones unturned to cry foul and make long furore and hullaballoo with utmost derogatory and crass language.

Even if I am told to believe that these uproars to be the smart antics of the PR machineries that work for these stars, I am sure that such crowds would defenitely have a notable number of ‘genuine’ fans as well, who get too itchy watching their favourite star getting ‘dissed’ on the show, the reason why they soon jump on to social media platforms to give vent to their anger and resentment. Each day on shows end with endless verbal battles on petty ‘reality’ issues that hardly matter to anyone of them or for the public. However, none of these self-proclaimed fans are keen on making use of their common sense to decipher that they are indulging in conversations that are hardly of any importance to them, instead helping a series of scripted incidents and talentless reality stars garner tons of free publicity. These unwanted outcries can only snip away the priceless hours that are to be used wisely in life, to do something beneficial. Yet, many viewers are swayed by the impulsiveness that these shows create, leading them to unceasingly voicing their opinions and comments, thus inviting many more people to join such numerous meaningless conversations.

I am not against putting forth one’s genuine opinion on TV shows or movies. But I do believe in a borderline and timeframe that has to be maintained, while articulating opinions in public. Stretching useless conversations, spiking them with ‘choicest’ cuss word and insult, and spending days to extend it to gross and nauseating war of words would never do anything good to any of these supposedly devoted viewers or fans. Instead, it would only rob them off the precious and incalculable hours that make use of to do several things that are useful and beneficial to them, as well as many other people around.

Among many examples of such senseless conversations that I have read during these years, here is one that I felt is the height of stupidity. Assuming that a celebrity had fallen in love with a co-contestant in a reality show that was aired last year, endless conversations on their ‘budding’ romance surfaced on various social media platforms. While some of the fans showered their unconditional love, blessings, and support on the pair and painstakingly coined a linguistic blend with the name of both the stars , some others rained inexcusable abuses on them for their endless PDAs that ‘un-Indian’ behaviour on national television. Much to the shock of the devoted fans and their bitchy counterparts, the couple came out in public after the show and stated that there was no love in the air. While their fans went ahead and continued their rants on the reasons behind the spit, their foes kept sniffing for possibilities of the impending hook-ups of both the stars. As the lovers and haters continued sharing their tirades and judgements, the reality stars kept riding high on their new-found fame, minting more and more money each day, while their fans and foes continued wasting days and weeks together to keep up with their conversations to support/dis the stars, gaining nothing.

Anecdote - In the effort to tweet endlessly and verbally demolish a reality star on Twitter, won’t it be wise to make use of that time to read a blog on health or post some messages on a more important and genuine topic? Don't get me wrong. I am not a hypocrite, and admit having watched a handful of episodes of reality shows. However, what I really disagree with is spending our priceless days on futile discussions about those shit loads of scripted drama. Shouldn't we doing something better?

Put yourself in their shoes

I was reading an online newspaper the other day, and came upon the tear-jerking news story about the suicide of a teen transgender. The news report had the heart-wrenching suicide note that ‘she’ had left on ‘her’ social media page. The 1000+ words post gave a vivid account of ‘her’ prolonged battle with all those who relentlessly kept denying ‘her’ gender identity, due to fear of societal backlash. ‘Her’ suicide note ends with the hope that her story would help ‘fix society’ someday.

Our bigoted world thus lost yet another talented teenager who desperately wanted to live a dignified life like any other normal human being. But the world around has robbed her off the happiness and peace ‘she’ wished for, thus making ‘her’ take a sudden and drastic step in the hope to find peace in heaven, far away from the prejudiced world that kept mocking at ‘her’ gender transition each day. Although I couldn’t fathom ‘her’ pain and anguish, ‘her’ story was thought-provoking, as it unveiled the intense pain of being trapped to live with a wrong identity and persona. It also made me think about the sadness, hopelessness, and desperation of many others transgenders who continue to hope for a day when their community gets the deserved freedom, respect and equality. The more I tried to shake away my thoughts about their plight, the more they kept bumping on to me, and I was soon engrossed in an stream of thoughts about the predicaments of transgenders who struggle to live a normal life each day, in our supposedly progressive world.

While there are no statistical backing to support this statement, I can undoubtedly say that the increasing number of suicides of transgender people indicate the horrifying narrow-mindedness of our society. Every time I happen to read about the distressing stories of transgenders who continually face rejection discrimination, victimization, violence, and mockery from family, friends, and society, I cannot help but wonder why the world is so hell-bent on making the life of transgenders miserable and hellish. A society that cannot extent a hand of acceptance shouldn’t be keen on finding ways to marginalize transgenders, as they too deserve the same rights that we enjoy each day. Sadly, due to constant marginalization and vilification, most of them embrace death, in the hope to break free from the torments that they undergo each day.

Throughout my life, I've always treated transgenders with equal respect. No matter wherever I meet them, unlike those who leave no stones unturned to intimidate them with blatant stares and lewd comments, I have keenly maintained the warmth and normalcy that makes them feel at ease. This is because, I strongly believe that if knowing another person's life or perspective is beyond our limits, accepting them in the way they are is the best way to let them live their lives peacefully and dignifiedly. However, most of the times, the world around me hardly show the time and patience to respect the persona and feelings of transgenders.

When did we realize our gender? Can anyone of us recall whether it was a choice that we made, or it happened subconsciously? The process of gender recognition remains the same for all, but unlike us who can easily categorize ourselves, transgenders are unable to fully express themselves, or, find it hard to defy the societal norms for righting what has been described as wrong and sinful for ages. So, if we lack the ability to decipher the worry that they are into, let’s not freak out or make a big deal of it. Looking beyond the age-old man woman classification is a matter of shame to several people, but, I believe this is inevitable, as one can really understand a person only by climbing into his/her skin and walking around in it. Desolation and suicides of transgenders are real and serious subjects that require immediate action, but sadly they are often evaded as our dogmatic mind-sets fail to recognize the struggle of those who live the misery of getting entrapped in an identity that’s dynamically opposite to their entire self. As we continue our tightrope walk in the world of hatred, wars, communal riots, and deadly disease, we make living more difficult by failing to love and accept each other.

Trans, gay or straight, love and acceptance are what they yearn for, the reason why we have to look at the world around beyond the contours of traditional gender classifications.

Transgenders are not outcastes. They remain so for being trapped in bodies of the wrong gender. They are neither delusional nor psychotic. It’s just that their inside doesn't match the outside. Transgender people should be bestowed the same respect that we deserve. Their bodies are their own so are their mind and freedom to live with dignity and equality.

Considering the fact that they keep facing a sea of struggles from both within themselves and outside world, why not lessen their challenges by accepting them for the way they are?

Anecdote - How does it feel like getting trapped in a strange place? Or how would you respond if you were forced to dress in opposite-gender clothing and follow a variant behaviour throughout a week? It’s not just suffocating and terrifying, but might also trigger immeasurable rage and anguish, driving you to the verge of madness. If that’s what you might experience for those momentary transformations, can you fathom the anger and sadness of a soul that gets trapped in a wrong body throughout the entire life?