The ‘moral’ lens

With innumerable innovations in medical technologies, we’re well past the age where gynecological diseases were a matter of immense concern and scare. No such diseases are undetectable these days, not even the ones that are spotted in fallopian tube, ovary, uterus, vagina, or vulva. However, despite the ground-breaking medical advancements, the age-old stigma around visiting a gynecologist still continue to linger around in our society, stopping several single and unwed women from receiving timely medical aids to diagnose grave health disorders such as gynecological cancer. While both leading hospitals and well-known clinics have expert gynecologists who can easily diagnose the causes and symptoms of commonly detected gynecological diseases, many single women refrain from getting the experts’ aid fearing the societal and moral repercussions associated with visiting a gynecologist. No matter how developed our country is, the sight of unmarried women at gynecologists’ office is often linked to sexual promiscuity and pregnancy. This much prevalent misconception very often cost the lives of many women who fail to leverage the potential lifesaving medical aids and expert advices that are currently available. Regardless of all the developments that we boast about, no efforts are taken to eradicate this ever-growing insularity and lack of knowledge. Though both married and unmarried women can suffer the same health problems, for fear of taunts and sneers, the latter fails to get timely treatments and medical care. This preconceived notion is evidently prevalent among all among all societal sectors, the reason why several single women choose to close the eyes to the initial signs of many gynecological disorders that can turn out fatal later on.

Furthermore, facing the moral judgments that drip down from the disgusting questions or the repugnant lecture on ‘morality’ is no less than an embarrassing ordeal. Fear of such humiliating experiences makes women take a step back and unknowingly invite more health woes. At times, medics too are no different from taunting, lecturing on conventional morality, or denying medical support for single or unmarried women. While getting clarity on medical and sexual related issues are crucial to avoid misdiagnosis, problems arise when medical examination gets side-tracked to morality lessons and shaming of patients. It’s high time to support single and unmarried women open up and share their concerns around gynecological health, the diagnosis of which should never be hindered by the bigoted comments on promiscuity and morality. In simple terms, both the judgmental society and the bigoted medics out there should apprehend the fact that pregnancy and sexual illnesses are not the only reasons why women seek gynecological aid.

Don’t tar everyone with the same brush

A high-profile divorce always leaves ample fodder to create days of sassy media reports and slanderous write-ups on the personal lives of the couple involved. The recent break-up of a politician and his journalist wife, a supposedly "amicable" split, was no different. As the prying eyes of media continued to look for every possible cause that led to the separation, one among the recent articles that dissected the possible reasons of the divorce turned out downright ludicrous and absurd. It said that successful men find it intimidating to have equally successful partners. Apart from being miles away from sensibility, the article turned into a sheer example of naive reasoning and misinformation, and incongruous elucidation that carried little logic. The article went on explain the hardships that ambitious woman with soaring career has to endure to dumb herself down to attract a debonair and dashing man. Did the author deliberately forget inspirational women achievers like Indra Nooyi, Chanda Kochhar, Marissa Mayer, and Sheryl Sandberg?

As the writer continued to assert that successful, suave, and sophisticated men are keen on dating ‘dumb blondes’, the recent matrimony of an acclaimed Hollywood actor and a renowned human rights lawyer evidently proves this generalization wrong. According to the author, the fear of battling against a potent male ego is the main reason for the spinsterhood of many smarter women. However, even amidst men's continued dominance, there has been an unprecedented transformation in women's status in our society. Despite having many evident examples that emphasise the fact that not all men are trapped in the past, the author steadfastly believes that downright illiberal and misogynistic concepts are still powerful to seal the fate of several achievers among women. While it’s true that we live amid several men who prefer quiet and submissive women, one cannot use this as a reason to generalize about the entire men folk around us. Nor can one label a high-profile divorce as an outcome of patriarchy and male domination. Yet some women writers and self-confessed feminists soon jump the gun and desperately spew out such imprudent and irresponsible comments, while having zero information about the facts. Irrespective of being a self-professed champion of women’s rights, the author too was no different from the majority of namesake feminists who degrade it as mere male-bashing.

Success of women has little role in deciding the lifespan of a relationship. But when it comes to women who are unreasonably opinionated, decisive, stand-offish, and aggressive, men might never think twice to run a mile away from them. However it cannot misconstrued as the sense of being overshadowed by a woman's success. Nor does it imply that men shy away from accomplished women. When smugness and narcissism takes the monopoly, the beauty of a relationship soon withers into nothing.

Despite the fact that misogyny continues to persist, even among the educated and well-off classes, we are hardly close to that dire situation where men get overawed by financially and emotionally secure women. The irrational concept of fragile male ego is nothing but the preposterous perception of some misandrous self-proclaimed feminists. Strong and ambitious people intimidate only the weak and laid-back ones with low self-esteem, continually battling against existential crisis. It’s not the gender but the power of intelligence, willpower and personality that causes the intimidation. Women can remain absolutely unapologetic about their accomplishments because men who are secure in themselves will always treat women with dignity and respect.