When a small bottle of liquid changes one’s life forever

“He threw acid on my face, not on my dreams.” When Laxmi Agarwal said this during her TEDx talk, I stood up and clapped, forgetting for a while that I was sitting in my hostel room and watching the video of her talk on my laptop. She is an inspiration, an embodiment of courage and grit, and so are all the acid attack survivors who chose to fight back and win, rather than whining over their past. A few strong women survivors together run a café, named Sheroes Hangout, in Agra, and tell their stories to the world. Kudos to the way they chose to emerge to the social mainstream, rather than hiding their scarred faces. It has ignited the hopes and dreams of many other survivors who want to get out of pain and isolation.

Acid attack, it is not something unheard of, at least in our country. It keeps shaking our conscience again and again, practically every other day. The laws were modified a few years back, but have we done enough to deal with this horrific infliction on women? Acid is still readily available in our country, and costs less than a packet of milk. Despite strong laws and punishments, the number of acid attacks continues to rise each day. And irrespective of having lawful curb on the sale of acid, illicit buying and selling still happen in full swing.

As per a report on The Guardian, “women make up 80% of acid victims”. It debilitates them, ruthlessly robs them of income, livelihood, opportunities, and sometimes life as well. With hardly a few advanced burn hospitals and specialized experts, getting timely and adequate medical treatment is far from easy. Survivors need multiple reconstructive surgeries, and soon they will be neck deep in debt.

You cannot even fathom what acid can do to a human body. It burns skin, eats the flesh, it can blind, disfigure, and literally leave person’s face unrecognizable. Why do the perpetrators do this most ghastly crime? The obsession with superficial beauty and fairness is a strong reason why perpetrators use acid to ruin a victim’s chance to lead a normal life. May be they want to deprive the victim of love and acceptance. Sadly, the perpetrators win in many cases and victims get ostracized. They suffer in many ways, undergo tremendous amount of trauma, and can never dream of a career, marriage, or even a normal life. They are literally treated as outcasts. Isn’t that mind numbing cruelty? What shocks me most is the fact that acid attacks often happen for all unimaginably trivial reasons possible.

Are all acid attacks getting reported? No, says the volunteers who work for Stop Acid Attack campaigns. Several cases go unreported, and not every victim gets the needed support and recognition. The struggles are endless and the pain is more than excruciating. No one deserves such terrible fate. No one. We need to stop acid attacks once and for all.

Dangal: Empowering or reinforcing patriarchy?

Aamir Khan’s Dangal raked big moolah in India and abroad, and reached the 2000 crore club. It won all major awards, and continues to get lauded by both public and critics. Dangal is definitely a feel-good, crowd-pleasing film. But the subtle narrative is not really about the two sisters. Instead, it focuses mostly on their despotic yet affectionate father and his unfulfilled dream.

Dangal is not a Bend It Like Beckham like movie where the female protagonist beats all the odds to achieve her dreams. The movie justifies dictatorial parenting and reinforces the age-old ideas that it hopes to fight . Yet, many people are touting it as a feminist movie, just because two important characters are female wrestlers from Haryana.

The female protagonists fight sexism and male privilege throughout their journey, but the girls are not chasing their dreams, instead striving hard to make their father proud. They are docile, puppet-like, and blindly obey their father, who is an autocrat kind of a person. He imposes his interests and choices on them. He is the decision maker, and believes he knows what’s best for the girls. That’s not even remotely close to empowerment.

Along the way, the girls face severe ridicules yet go against all odds to get successful and make it big in a world that’s traditionally envisaged by men. But, it’s not the girls who win at the end, it’s their father, the patriarch. From chopping off their hair, to denying their favorite food, and making them undergo grueling training even from a tender age, the father forces wrestling on them by all means. Does such a story propagate woman empowerment in any manner?

By putting the burden of his unfulfilled dream on his young daughters' shoulders, Mahavir reinforces the prevalent norms in our society. The movie is about his dreams, predicaments, and challenges. How on earth does this break misogyny?

That said, Mahavir is not a complete patriarchal stooge either. The father teaches the girls to be fearless and persist, no matter what the situation is. So, the movie definitely makes us want to cheer for women who make it big in male dominated fields like wrestling. But a Mahavir-like dad and his ‘hanikarak’ ‘craziness’ will do more harm than good in real life. Wondering why?

While all is hale and hearty in reel, it’s not the same in real when parents force their dreams on children. We can see an alarming rise in the number of students who choose suicide as a way to deal with wrong and forced career choices and pushy parents who project their unfulfilled dreams on their children. Why do they kill themselves? Because, they simply fail to deal with the intense psychological pressure. Still, several parents consider their children as tools fulfill their unaccomplished dreams, aspirations, and desires. Children should be allowed to chase their own dreams. They should not be forced to follow the dreams of their parents.