Don't be too humble

Until the fag end of my first stint as a content writer and a newbie in the corporate world, not a day went by that I didn't ask myself the same question - Am I too humble? Humility overdose was not taking me anywhere. It was hindering my successes and accomplishments. I was a doormat for my manager to wipe her feet on.  It took a few years for the realization to dawn on me, or I learned it the hard way.

If I draw from my personal experience and jot down the perils of being too humble, here is what I have experienced over the years:

1.     I worked way to hard to not show off , and I was always willing to go that extra mile and stay away or hide from the crowd. Eventually, my colleagues and friends misconstrued it as lack of confidence and capability. I was never a good marketer of my capabilities or talents, the reason why I was constantly underestimated.

2.    A quiet contributor with adequate experience in writing, I never found myself getting promoted to a senior position, instead, worked under colleagues with lesser experience and potential.  The reason was simple – I never learned how to talk my way into becoming a leader. 

3.    A writer by passion and profession, I had a substantial number of blogs and articles to my credit. But I never received the deserving acknowledgement for my talents. For fear of being called a braggart, I never made any deliberate effort to flaunt them in the way I should have. 

4.    Editing was never my forte, but I have a keen eye and strong attention to detail. SEO too was not my strong suit. I learned editing and SEO with passion and commitment but failed to leverage many opportunities that came my way because I didn’t know how to showcase my skills at the right time and kept waiting for my manager to identify them. 

5.    Astute and sly minds around me misused my politeness and humbleness on several occasions. They dictated decisions for me, believed I am a dogsbody, and leveraged my skills and to climb up the ladder of growth, happiness, and contentment in life.

6.    Humility overdose overpowered my negotiation skills. Despite knowing my worth, I could not negotiate reasonable earnings for myself.

Humble Vs. too humble

There is a world of difference between humble and too humble, but the line between the two of them is blurry. Humbleness will help scale greater heights and arrogance will drive people away. However, if you are too humble and gracious, you will be treated like a doormat. Moreover, too much humbleness builds a strong barrier that stops the world from knowing you, your strengths, your talents, and your capabilities. If you are keen on gaining a firm foothold in today's overcrowded and judgmental world and wish to get the deserving acceptance and recognition for your skills and abilities, drain out the extra humbleness within yourself and keep it optimal. 

How to find a balance between the two

1.    If you have skills, talents, and abilities that are worth flaunting, go ahead and speak up for yourself. Or, learn how to recognize your worth and to be an advocate for yourself. 

2.    Showcase your skills and talk about your accomplishments with confidence and without coming off as a big-headed braggart. Voice your opinions and let others express theirs as well.

3.    Procrastination is a trap that most of us fall into. Don’t wait for the right time to do what you feel is right. Any time is a good time and right time is when you find a potential opportunity – grab it and make it yours!

4.    Learn how to deal with people-pleasing tendencies and practice different ways of saying NO without offending others.

You took the wrong job - Now what?

You take a new job with high hopes, wanting to be in a place that helps learn, thrive, and make significant contributions. What if it doesn’t turn out the way you plan, and the new job enthusiasm wears off in the blink of an eye? It can be difficult to admit and at times it’s down to embarrassment – but there are certain tell-tale signs that should not be passed off as day-to-day grievances or underplayed as part of the new working life. They will either hit you right away, or the realization dawns on you at a gradual pace. No matter how it folds, the disappointment and the sinking feeling that follows are hard to deal with.  Irrespective of trying hard to focus on the positives of the new role, exploring whether it is salvageable, the downsides may loom large most of the times, no matter how hard you try to zero in on the advantages. Should you quit right away, or wait for things to turn around? No - don't make a hasty decision. Give yourself time to think. Resolve to sail through the first quarter with an open mind. If you’re still waffling and are unsure, you can always un-make your choices any day, because, your happiness is your greatest priority. If you decide to stick around, here is what you can do to keep yourself upbeat:

Identifying the reason behind the frustration is far from easy, but once you are aware of the reason, it is easy to find potential solutions that help make situations better. Conscious efforts to improve the experience is the best way to take control of any dilemmatic circumstance. Always keep your mind open and take every day as it comes.  You are in for a change and a learning experience, and both are far from easy.

Once you identify what bothers you, convey it to your manager and raise your concerns to get the helping hand that can pull you out of the frustration you are battling with.  Your manager will recommend some concrete steps on how to improve the situation and make it better.  Implement them without fail and see how things turn out without prejudging the outcome.

The worst-case scenario – You do all that it takes to make a new job work and express your concerns, yet things on the ground never improve. If that’s where you are currently, it’s time to move on.  When you fire up a job search now, you are aware that you did all that you could to make it work. It’s important to leave on a good note, but here is a word of caution – Never let your eagerness to leave your current job to push you into a role that proves to be an equally bad fit.