Workplace cliques - What I know and how I do not let them affect me and my work

I know that teamwork is integral to the success of every organization. I understand the need for employees to get along. I also know that we tend to gravitate towards people who understand and appreciate us. It's not bad at all. So why am I against cliques or groups at workplaces? Some workplace cliques cause excessive togetherness and make those outside feel less important and worthy. These groups cause exclusivity because they are like secret societies, and having such groups at workplaces can be very toxic. 

Let me give you an example. I am a non-Tamilian living in Chennai. My first workplace in Chennai had many cliques - created by natives. During the initial days, I tried my best to connect with them. But I couldn't. I was always an "outsider" for them. I sat alone most of the time and tried hard to shrug off the negativity of being left out. I can speak Tamil, but not fluently, yet they didn't add me to any clique or make me feel welcomed.

Here is another negative impact of cliques - imagine you get invited for lunch, dinner, night out, or social activity by a group that dominates your workplace. If you politely say "No" due to a personal reason, the group will ignore, snub, exclude you more to ensure the incident affects your mental health and work well-being. 

Some clique members even make snarky remarks about you - they make fun of your attire, language, and even your food habits. I still get many of those. Some of them include my inability to speak certain words in Tamil, the use of coconut oil in my food, and my inability to backbite. 

If cliques or groups impact your work and self-esteem, you don't have to be a part of those groups to excel in your career. Trust me, I have survived more than a decade, and you too can. Keep your conversations at the workplace friendly yet professional, and that healthy barrier will keep you calm and positive all the time. If situations go out of hand, you can always approach your HR or manager, but I don't feel comfortable doing so. Hence, I keep my workplace conversations minimal and professional without giving others the leeway to sneak into my personal life or make me feel left out and excluded. I am better off without being part of cliques. 

After years of hard work, now I know how to live amidst workplace cliques. I don't expect people to include me in their groups now. Yes, I am not part of any workplace clique, and I am okay with it. It's hard but very much possible. When I see toxic groups at the workplace and hear them making snarky remarks about me - Mock me all you want. If my work speaks volumes about who I am, that's all I need. 

Sometimes you may not get what you want, and it is okay.

If you have ever had a dream job or company in mind, you are like me and many others out there who strive hard to work their way up the career ladder. A year ago, I stopped chasing the dream of a dream job. Instead, I kept my options open and learned to face rejections and failures head-on. I learned the hard way that failures and rejections in professional life are part of our journey, and I should not let them take over my life and mess with my mind. Let me tell you more about how I learned this lesson the hard way. 

Since I do not want to divulge anything about the dream organization I mentioned, I will call it Mojo. I have always wanted to work for Mojo. In 2016, I was at their swanky office in the suburbs. Mojo is a one-of-a-kind organization that offers groundbreaking technology solutions, has an enviable work culture, and helps its community join the mission to help the less fortunate out there. In other words, Mojo is the golden gate every ambitious person will look for to have a stellar career. I was no different. I stood at the doorstep for a while before leaving and hoped to return as an employee someday. 

Over the years, I kept applying for every position that matched my skill set, but I was always getting turned down or straight-up ignored. I prepared a lot, tried as hard as possible, but rejection reared its ugly head my way all the time. I always received that one sentence I dreaded seeing - “Unfortunately, we decided to move ahead with another candidate.” 

With every rejection, I started feeling more and more defeated. The negativity erupted like molten lava inside me and tanked my confidence. I kept thinking about what was wrong and what I could have done differently. I wallowed and seethed after very rejection, and then, after trying for years, now I have willed myself to move on.

Rejection letters and emails are almost impossible to accept. It was hard to shake off my pain and disappointment. I respect the decisions made by the company, and I understand that they felt somebody else was better suited for every job I applied for in the past.

So, instead of getting drowned in the rejection rut, here is what I did:

I stopped overthinking and overanalyzing the rejections, I stopped slicing and dicing what happened, and I stopped beating myself down or accusing myself. Well, it was not an easy step at all. It was time-consuming and intense, but I knew I had to do it all to rebound in a positive direction, and I did all that it took to land back on my feet and start moving forward. And when I began finding light at the end of the tunnel, it was easy to come to terms with and accept the rejections from Mojo. I was also able to focus on the other opportunities that came my way. 

When you overanalyze and get stuck in remorseful thoughts, you will get stuck there forever until you pick yourself and move forward. I learned it the hard way. It is okay to be sad about job rejection. Every day, many talented applicants face job rejections. And it is okay to give yourself the time to be upset. But here is what you must remember - Never let rejections engulf you. Get back up, talk yourself up, and most importantly, never get your heart set on a particular job or organization. If you keep your options open, you will more likely land a great job soon. Again, I learned this the hard way.