Ambition vs. Practicality


Writing was the profession, the ambition, and the passion that I have always carried, right from my childhood, and was the sole reason why I joined for Journalism PG Diploma, much to the disapproval and dismay of my entire family, since they wanted me to do a B.Ed in English and become a teacher, which according to them is the most befitting profession that a woman can have. I was never in disagreement with the idea of becoming a teacher, and still believe that it’s a truly noble profession. But I did not want to pursue that for a lifetime, as the idea of remaining chained in the very limited encircle of a school campus almost scared me to death. I wanted to explore the world so badly, and do something very ‘different’ and innovative, which ultimately brings-in the joy, happiness, and contentment that I wanted.

Although I worked as a teacher for a few years, I soon embraced my passion back, and became a Content Writer. Though my Journalism course had opened up a pretty good number of much prospective career possibilities in both visual and print media, I chose none, thus giving my friends a shock of their lifetime. They called me a loser and a blockhead who couldn’t take advantage of the ‘golden’ opportunities that came to me. While they went on to become some of the much famous journos in the state, I entered the I.T industry that hardly has any elements of excitement and fame to lure me. Unlike my former classmates who became the inevitable parts of the media fraternity of the state, my I.T job never made me famous, but instead helped me get a financial grounding that I had never dreamed about. The happiness of becoming a helping hand to my ageing parents was what I took as the first and foremost priority, and the media houses that interviewed me couldn’t offer what it takes to live a pretty decent life, especially when the cost of living continue to skyrocket each day. My zeal and vigour to become a much celebrated journo was thus overpowered by the need to have stable, secure, and independent life that I desperately wanted to have. This indispensable reason almost wiped away all the possible thoughts further job hunt in the media , as I knew very well from my experiences that no matter how good I try to present my skills, they are sure to underestimate and underpay the newbies like me, and make us slog to death day in and day out.

One among the well known journalists of the state, whom I met during a job interview, gave me the shock of my life, saying that if I take up the job of a journo, I can be subjected to the worst of humiliations ever heard, and would even have to keep myself literally on tip toe all day long ,and get nothing other than fireballs of mockery and humiliation from the seniors. His concluding statement was the worst of all, as it said that I will have to forget my self-identity and prepare myself to get subdued and trampled for years long, until I get a senior position.  I never wanted to experience all that and I never wanted to be underpaid as well, the reasons why I chose to shred my journo dreams and think practically. I don’t know whether I have done justice to me and my passion, but can definitely say that I continue to live life well with self identity, and at the same time slog much less than my peers in media, who hardly get a holiday to sleep their asses off.

When my friends continue to give adrenaline pumping news reports and presentations on television, practically each day, I am a behind the scene person, and work for clients across the globe with the very clear knowledge that none of the works will have my name etched on it. I am not disappointed or upset about the decision that I took, and nor am I envious about my peers who have established themselves as some of the well known people in media.  I believe that this is what I am destined for, and I am very much contented with my career.  I know that I haven't accomplished the goal that I had set for myself, and couldn't get hold of the career that I had dreamed about.   But I never look back and regret for what has not happened, and definitely not with the career choice of mine. I chose writing, and  I do that now, even though it lacks the thrill and fame that I might have had if I was a media professional.  But when it comes to getting oneself a stable, stress free, and well-paid livelihood, certain ambitions will be  forced to take the backseat of life, because, life lived practically and realistically is more important than sacrificing it for the the fulfillment of an ambition.

Bring out the child in you


Revisiting the child in me is something that works wonders most of the times, and rejuvenates me instantly. I love embracing the bliss of those forgotten pleasures that make me forget the burdens of adulthood.  I am always told that one has to be serious and matured with age, particularly after the thirties, but to my surprise, most of these die-heart advocates of maturity continue to carry a  whole bunch of misconceptions about the idea of being matured. Many a times have I become the butt of ridicule for people, who have blatantly called me childish and immature as I never stopped myself from enjoying some harmless ‘fifth-grader’ that make me unwind after some of those demanding and strenuous weeks with truckloads of works that literally makes me feel completely washed-out.

Although I tend-to have the overflowing urge to reply to some of the ludicrous comments that people say, I save myself from plunging in to such an unnecessary debates, yet keep wondering why people carry a bloated nonsensical concept of what maturity and responsibility are. With every year passing by, one has to grow, older both physically and emotionally, but this in no way means that one has to have a ‘greyer’ lifestyle with growing age, and has to keep oneself away from the fun and enjoyments that had made the bygone years entertaining and pleasurable. Age, I think, is never a barrier to indulging in those reasonably exciting things that one wishes to be in, no matter whether they are from the reminiscent of one’s childhood or teen-hood. As long as, the happiness of a person remains vivid in throughout his life, one can definitely bring-out the mischievous and vibrant ‘fifth-grader’ in him/her and enjoy some funny moments that bring-in tons of energy and enthusiasm, along with loads of happiness. Age should never make us wear a masquerade of seriousness that would visible hide the vibrancy in us, making us take up a false and pretentious life to make the world believe that we are grown-up and are matured inside-out.

If people around me urge that I have to change myself and ‘behave’ maturely, I can only say one thing – I am too bad in acting and I would pathetically fail in no time if I start to exhibit some moments of fake maturity. It would be nothing less than a visible folly that the entire world would find out at the very first glance. So I never act, never mask myself with a serious and unfriendly get-up that are dynamically opposite to my persona at-present, which also means I was hardly as vibrant and cheerful as this a couple of years back, when I was a teacher; when I was tutored to be dead-serious to every student of mine. Like most of the people out there, my mentors too had the very false notion that a serious and unkind body language would help me earn much revere and admiration from my students, and I almost blindly did what I was told to. No student was free to talk to me and always kept a safer distance throughout. I mistook this as their respect and admiration for the teacher in me, but later understood that it was just their scare and strangeness that created false swathe of respect and admiration.

Even before that, back in my college and teen days, the effervescent emergence of chirpiness and vibrancy that would have molded a different me was nipped out, and was instead taught to have a pretentiousness and seriousness all-the-time; the supposedly lady-like qualities that the world wanted me to become skilled at. Looking back, I feel I was nothing short of a smug who made a fool of herself before every one for her insensitivity and lack of jolliness. Thanks to these misguided thoughts, I never had any friends at any point of my life, People came and left before long, and I never find it odd enough, until I forced myself shed all the fallacies that I continued to carry throughout the years.

Soon I left away false seriousness and ostentatious ‘matured’ look, and started being the way I want to be, enjoying life in the way I wished. That shed light in to those dark corners of my mind, where those much deluded thoughts lived for years together. They were driven away in no time, and life turned out to be on a better side when it looked much lighter than ever before. Now I do very less thinking, or precisely, not just an ounce more than a Yes Or a No. Because, everything in life ends with either of those, the reason I finish my thoughts right there. This helps me life without overblown seriousness and the much showy ‘matured’ face that I once carried. The revelation has finally come and has made me understand that maturity is about handling life with ease and brilliance, living life to the fullest, and being kind, merciful, and friendly to fellow human beings. I know that some hurtful moments may arise in between, and I have witnessed a good share of them, but now I don’t find it hard to rise and get back to life with a lot more vigour.

To conclude with, maturity and seriousness needn't be evident on your face or you needn't look stern to make people feel the maturity you have, nor should such misconceptions make you keep hard and fast rules that block the happiness in your life.